Incest Survivors Support Group

Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...

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dad came on to me

suzi44
suzi44
I went home for overnight and my dad totally came on to me. I ran away and went home. I feel really depressed now and like a totally worthless person. I deserve respect and safety, too. I feel like a worthless person because I don't have kids and maybe if I had kids then he wouldn't come on to me. ANd he would respect me. Or if I had a big powerful job or was taller. anything but me. I feel like crying a lot and I just can't handle this. I'm trying to start my own business and I feel like I'm being crushed from within. It's easy to lose momentum when you're alone. And I'm taking a class which could alter my career path. I feel afraid a lot. I don't have much money. ANy words of encouragement would be welcome....
deleted_user
deleted_user
Just breath. Find that calm. He shouldnt have done that to you, Im glad you got out of that situation! Dont go back.
deleted_user
deleted_user
keep your head up your better of without your father in your life stay strong and keep doing your schooling and opening your own business.
pumpkinpumpkin
pumpkinpumpkin
How horrible for you! I will never forget a woman in group going to a family gathering and being subjected to her father's begging for sex.
We don't owe our family sex thrills. We were preyed upon.
He's unlikely to stop trying. Pat yourself on the back for running away.
You have the power to never be alone with him, and know it's not what you lack, but what he lacks - a conscience. My heart goes out to you.
chris1976
chris1976
Sorry that you went through that. Sorry that it makes you feel bad about yourself. It's neither your fault nor something that you did wrong. Keep that in mind.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You should put your foot down and tell him off or call the cops on him, sue him, something.
pumpkinpumpkin
pumpkinpumpkin
I think reading "Treating the Incest Offender, Excuses, Excuses, Excuses" answers why they do it, and often are not sorry. It's a hard read because of the callousness of offenders but you'll know why you are not at fault.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Please know that nothing you have done or haven't done, nothing you could do would change HIM. He is the one with the issue not you. You don't need to be one bit different then you are. HE is the one with the problem and the one who needs to change.

So often as victims we are told it is our fault and blame ourselves. But there is nothing you did or didn't do that would make you deserve this, or make it justifiable for him to treat you this way.

You do not deserve this. You have done nothing wrong. You are a good person worthy of love and healthy affection.

*hugs*
deleted_user
deleted_user
yes, PumpkinPumkin turned me on to that article and it is an eye-opener. It is totally not your fault, it is their warped and fucked up idea of how family dynamics work. It wouldn't matter if you were a fucking millionaire. You are not worthless, it's not because you don't have kids, it's not because you're not tall. It's HIS problem! You are BETTER than this and don't let him affect your dreams!