You're not being weird or skewed. Your brother's comments were inappropriate at best. And his preoccupation with naked pictures is a bit weird too if you ask me. At the very least, the conversation reveals someone who is clueless about appropriate boundaries between brother and sister. It all sounds hauntingly familiar ...

In a non-incest family his sharing about naked pictures might warrant a check for a brain tumor or dementia. lol

Awhile back I posted an article about the sexual development of children. I really believewe I saw in my family what was described and that was a nonchalance about sexual things, that it's just a game. (Not so for the victims who objected)

You shouldn't have to be subjected to anything sexual from him but you'll have to stand up to him. Perhaps you could ask if he'd like a gf or wife to know he likes to talk to his sister about naked pictures?

You can do this. He knows it's not right and not normal.

This is not the brother that abused you, I guess?

Yeah, that's skeevy.

Bluedragon, actually this IS the brother that molested me. In my family we pretend it never happened. It has never been discussed (except when I told my mom and she made it clear she didn't want to talk about it and didn't care)

The dysfunction in my family was hidden or at least I thought it was. I don't know what other families do and how other siblings talk to each other. I know it sounds stupid but there were and still are many things I assume that everyone did or experienced.

It doesn't sound stupid that what you experienced was your normal. It is inevitable. We are all like that, unless we assume whatever we experienced was abnormal.

I don't know what normal is. I am almost incapable of spontaneity because I don't trust what I learned as normal - I control myself and watch others and try to "pass" for normal. It's always been like that.

Whoa...
Um, I think that was REALLY gross...and even worse coming from this brother that abused you.

I mean, it's super reminiscent of the grooming behavior he tried on you as a kid. He hasn't changed a bit.
...just...ugh!
I'm very sorry he's still like that. I don't think it's a good idea to talk to him on the phone.

I think that's part of the way they groom their victims, for lack of any better word for it. The first step in seducing children often involves showing them adult videos or pictures, according to law enforcement.

It's normal for guys to look at pictures of naked women, not normal at all to share that fact with their sisters as a casual thing. The truth is that most guys surf porn...ministers, cops, youth counselors, you name it. It doesn't lead to anything, it's just the way males are wired.

Men seek visual stimulation, women seek racy situations, racy talk. Guys like images and videos, women like "romance" novels and TV talk shows about sex. Research has shown that this is due to differences in their brains.

But it's wrong for your brother to broach this subject with you in a personal call. My sister was like that, she gave me underground comics of ghouls eating female victims, took me to racy movies I wasn't supposed to see...all this while I was eight or younger.

That's grooming, and it eventually escalated to sexual advances.

Thanks for the replies. I know most all guys look at porn and the studies you mention, RichieD are ones I have heard of. Hell, I look at porn too (maybe I am different than other women) but I don't talk to my brother's about it.
It was how he groomed me as a child. I just ....wow....I just have been so used to these interactions with him that I never gave it a second thought until that phone call. Does this mean there is a glimmer of healing happening?

Sure it mean you're healing girl! Maybe how it was doesn't suit you and you'd like to be treated like a valued sister. (not clumped in with his sleazy sex objects).

It's the way it happened to me too. One day I just woke up after reading some things on DS and said to myself..."Oh, right. The things my sister did were not normal, she was a child molester and I was her victim. And since she was over eighteen during some of it, she is a criminal in fact.

The law says that making sexual advances toward children is a crime. I remember fending off her advances when I was eight, so that's that. Whether she actually did more than that, things I don't remember, is not relevant legally. What I remember would have been enough to lock her up, and I happen to think she was well aware of that. She was not an ignorant person.

Now I'm starting to realize that having been introduced to sex by my older sister might be the reason I've had so much trouble with my relationships...and my life. Eight is clearly too young to be the object of lust, that's a fact that can't be rationalized away or excused somehow...especially when it's coming from someone in your own home who has authority over you.

We're waking up now...waking up gradually in stages. I think that's the first step in a process.

By the way, I happen to know that many women do like adult entertainment...and there are men who love soap operas and romance novels. Gender roles aren't written in stone. We should all be free to be whoever we want to be. But the children should be left alone so they can just be children.

You're not being weird at all. Your brother's comments were beyond innapropriate. I can totally understand why you feel the way you do.

My brother was my abuser too and he would have a similar conversations like this with me. One time (probably about 3-4 years ago) when I was on the phone with him, he straight up asked me about my sex life, like in detail and with who and such. It was before I dealt with the abuse, and I didn't really think much of it. But looking back at that conversation now, it makes me disgusted.

I've often read of incest victims who were totallly convinced by thier abusers that it was normal behavior and their peers were experiencing incest and just not talking about it. So I'd think a brother who is quizzing you as an adult about you sex life is displaying his dominance and getting you to respond like you were taught which worked in the past to arouse him.

Surely he wonders or worries that one day you'll see the truth. Tell him he's sick for trying to be sexual with you. It's not normal and it needs to stop. Game over.

It's not your fault that you were groomed to not object to inappropriate behavior, but now that you are bothered it's time to use your words and not stand for itl

Easier written than done, I know. I have a brother with mild brain damage whose inappropriate creepy stalking underwear stealing I forgave to a certain (age 50) point but it escalated to receiving a
filthy letter and that was it. Loving him does not have to extend to being degraded and emotionally assaulted for his sexual satisfaction. I don't hate him but I have nothing to do with him.

I would never talk to my sister like, but I didn't abuse either. So for him, the who abused you, it's probably normal since he's still in that mindset.
You're not weird at all and you may be feeling that repulsion only at a deeper level since you've been forced to suppress it all these years. Now it's starting to filter up.

Yeah that is a weird conversation to have with your brother. Especially if he has abused you before.