Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
I know NOW *facepalm* that an absolutely huge number of the arguments I've had with my wife have actually been because I thought something she was saying or doing was an attempt to push me around, put me down, or control me. Nope.
She's just clueless as to the way I think. I just have to communicate what's going on in my head way better.
When I told her that at one point I thought she was putting down things that I did in order to keep me "under her thumb", she asked, "Do people really do things like that?"
ANYway...So...I am willing to suspect someone in our lives trying to control us, or giving the appearance therof to our brains, is an almost universal trigger on this board.
How true is this for you? How bad is this for you? How disruptive is it? Conversely, how USEFUL is it?
In other words, do you have a terror of having anything outside of yourself have power over you, and what do you do about that?
I personally think it's kept me from getting hooked on drugs... as I refuse to relinquish control to a substance...erm...except food, and that I will likely wrestle with for the rest of my life.
She's just clueless as to the way I think. I just have to communicate what's going on in my head way better.
When I told her that at one point I thought she was putting down things that I did in order to keep me "under her thumb", she asked, "Do people really do things like that?"
ANYway...So...I am willing to suspect someone in our lives trying to control us, or giving the appearance therof to our brains, is an almost universal trigger on this board.
How true is this for you? How bad is this for you? How disruptive is it? Conversely, how USEFUL is it?
In other words, do you have a terror of having anything outside of yourself have power over you, and what do you do about that?
I personally think it's kept me from getting hooked on drugs... as I refuse to relinquish control to a substance...erm...except food, and that I will likely wrestle with for the rest of my life.
My on the other hand i have found some people use very manipulative back handed ways of control.
Like my most abusive sister she is a master at crazy making underhanded cintrol tactics.Let me tell you is psychological torture.....
I really detest controlling people.
I have to be in control but just of my ownself at all times..BUt i'm not wanting to control others....Other people have the need to control others and they do it in very sneaky ways.
Its crazy making for the victims of their controls tactics...the worse.
have tried to explain how my mind woks to husband but I've discovered that's a non starter. He just doesn't. So I have to learn to stand up for myself, learn not to feel put down.
It's a toughie! But probably better for me in the long run (she says, trying to see a bright side to it).
Interesting what you say about the need for control keeping you off drugs. I tried grass a few times but hated so much the way it made me lose control of myself it never became a part of my life - and dissuaded me from trying anything else.