I'm sorry you had to go through that. I know how hard it can be. Hang in there alright.

I tried for many years to find a relationship that lasted more than a few months...never succeeded at that. Women liked me for my sexual abilities, but I wasn't good "boyfriend material" or something. I gave up trying to figure it all out.

I'll say this...most people are severely repressed sexually. I'm certain of that, after many years of seeing that in relationships and hearing stories like yours.

So when you develop a normal interest in sexuality, your partners feel inadequate by comparison. Feeling inadequate is like a plague among people in our culture...both male and female.

I kept hoping I'd find someone who wasn't all twisted up in worrying about things so I could have both a friend and a sexual partner. But all I got were women who fretted about whether I was "committed to the relationship" and all the rest of the neurotic craziness they suffer with. Or they just wanted a short "fling".

I don't fault them, and I'm well aware that men have the same problems with relationships. Actually I feel sorry for all of us who can't seem to relate in a genuine way sexually without getting lost in all the crazy melodrama.

People seem obsessed with finding a perfect match. There was a time when people didn't worry about such things...can't help but think that life must have been a lot easier back then. Two people liked one another, lived together, had children, grew into a real love for one another. Now every date is like an epic Hollywood movie as they desperately search for their "soul mate" and a perfect life of total happiness.

Please don't blame yourself for having a normal interest in sexuality. It's the way humans are supposed to be.

i am also hyper sexual and it's ruined a lot of relationships for me as well. i don't have any advice for how you can tone down your sexual needs. i tried chronic masturbation and it really only made me want more sex. not being in a relationship makes me more promiscuous. but being a relationship is incredibly hard because it's next to impossible for one person to satisfy my needs. just know you're not the only one dealing with this. i would, however, suggest you avoid in-person groups for sex addicts. they tend to be nothing more than hook-up meeting grounds. over the years i have found multiple partners is what works best for me. it can be hard to find an understanding partner if you want a long-term relationship...but people who will understand your situation and needs are out there. of course, i still deal with a lot of self-loathing and guilt over it all as well. it's crazy to hate yourself over something as natural as sex, isn't it? best of luck to you.

Thanks, everyone, for sharing so honestly. I have a question- i had a boyfriend who was molested (as I was) by an adult sibling sexual intercourse when he was 12. He claimed this made him hypersexual, later, and I am certainly more anorectic in nature when it comes to sex. This was definitely a problem in our relationship. I can't make the connect from the molestation to his hypersexual needs...could someone explain how this result happens, exactly?

For me, I have always been hypersexual, not necessarily because I want to have sex but because I have always felt like that is what is expected from me. Even though I know my husband doesn't expect it I can never say "no". I constantly feel the need to satisfy him. Basically if he wants it, he gets it, and if he doesn't want it I still try (not that he minds, he is hypersexual himself). I'm sorry you are going through this. It is human nature and some of us are more wired sexually. Maybe try to find someone who would be willing to have an open-relationship. One thing is for sure, you shouldn't feel guilty. Good luck to you.

I was hyper sexual, and then in a marriage with someone who didn't want any sex at all, which I thought was my 'punishment' for my sins. Got out of marriage, went completely over the top, had a relationship with someone who was highly sexual, he dumped me and now I hate sex, and I hate men, and it's amazing that it's taken me so long to finally realise how angry and filled with hate I actually am.

I would now rather die than give any many any pleasure whatsoever. I have been so used for so long I can't believe I let it happen.

oops. I meant only to give a message of support. I guess what I'm saying is that sexuality I think sometimes has to do with your emotional state. So it can be to do with unresolved feelings. And maybe after a few more years of counselling I might land somewhere back in the middle. The fat lady has not yet sung: you never know where or even who you're going to end up. :)