Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
I have been used my entire life. Always just a tool. By "family", " friends", classmates, colleagues..... Abusers ( or as can say with the examples of the previous, all the above are abusers.)... I'm still not over my last abuser, a person I trusted the most, a person I truly loved, and I was severly punished for loving and trusting. Like the rest of my abusers she lead me along and then crashed me into the ground and left me with nothing left. They all took everything from me. I vowed to never love and trust anyone ever again, and I stand by it. But I just can't get over her. I wish she didn't do what she did, because I needed, and still need her so much. But everything was a lie.... I can't stand her, yet I can't stand to be without her. I'm so torn. Also I learned that yet another person that has conditions similar to mine killed himself. He is the 4th person that I knew that killed themselves. And to be honest, I think to myself: why the hell do they get to die and I don't? My emotions are shot, and Almost gone. I'm numb, just numb. I feel so dead inside.... I feel like just a stupid tool. Everyone at school calls me a whore... And that I'm a pot head. And they aren't wrong... I smoke, I drink... But it's not my fault that my cousin got me pregnant at 7..... Isn't it? I didn't know.... I didn't understand, but it kills me.. Why couldn't I stop them? Why can't I stop my abusers....? Why do they always win? They never get in trouble, they never got punished, but I did. I got punished for trying, for loving, for trusting, for crying, for speaking my mind. I got punished for being me, for being human. For making mistakes.... What do I do? I don't know what to do..... I'm scared for my future, because it's just going to be more abuse. Someones going to hurt me. They always will. Someones going to attack me. I'm only 16, I have so much longer before I die of old age... And there's always going to be an abuser. I can't stop it. I can't do anything... I can't escape from it... I'm so scared.... I don't want to face my future.
I fee a lot like you do.And i ahve used by a lot of people so i just hnag out alone always.
I myself too wish i had the guts to just kill myself.But i don't.
::: I can't stand her, yet I can't stand to be without her. I'm so torn. :::
I know that feeling so well, nearly every relationship was like that for me, still is.
I want to wish you a Happy Birthday. Just 16 - I promise you it will not always be like this. I am amazed at your being so young - the skill you have at expressing yourself is way above your age level - and it will be the thing that saves you, your ability to write it all out.
You are neither a whore nor a tool nor stupid. You are a precious girl with so much potential, you need to find some therapist or help zone, you cannot rely on others your age to have the skill or depth to be what you need in your life.
Your story does not have to end negatively, you have so much time to set things right, change your self and to heal, you could still have a bright future although that is hard to see now.
Time is on your side and so are we.
((((((((((((((Monster Birthday Hug)))))))))))))))))))))