Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
Last week I was in Walmart waiting in the women's section for my Mom to come in.I was waiting I came upon the swimwear section. While dreaming about how nice it would be to fit in some of them, a young man came from behind and grabbed my breasts squeezing them twice. My automatic reaction was to turn and punch him, which I did. His girlfriend saw the whole thing and was laughing. Security was called and I became the aggressor. I tried to tell my side but kept being knocked down.
That is when I made Walmart go back and review security tapes. It was all on there he attack. He was arrested with a sexual offense. I am now scared to go anywhere. I never heard him come up behind me. I no longer trust my instincts. I just want to curl up and die. Is this really what the rest of my life will be like.
That is when I made Walmart go back and review security tapes. It was all on there he attack. He was arrested with a sexual offense. I am now scared to go anywhere. I never heard him come up behind me. I no longer trust my instincts. I just want to curl up and die. Is this really what the rest of my life will be like.
This was a horrible horrible experience for you - but well done you for turning and punching him. I think you're cool! Shall I tell you how I see it:
a stupid asshole made a grab at you (in front of his girlfriend, so it is unlikely he was out to do anything other than embarrass you). You weren't embarrassed but instead stood up for yourself, not just with him but with the security staff too.
You totally rock! I think you should be proud of yourself.
No one in real life is 100% alert to attack the whole time (movies are not real life!) - well, I used to be about 90% and I can tell you it makes life shit and it's exhausting. It's not worth it - it's much better and more healthy to be able to react like you did.
Having said that, the experience will probably have triggered all sorts of memories and feelings of powerlessness and threat, and I suspect this is what you are feeling now. So give yourself some praise and a treat, and allow yourself as much time to recover as you need.
Hugs
I feel sad that you want to "curl up and die" because I think you did an awesome job of responding to what happened.
Sounds to me like your instincts were right on target (turning around and punching him) and that you were able to stand up for yourself (making Walmart go back and review security tapes and the guy being arrested).
I can remember things like that happening to me when I was younger and I would just freeze.
Think learning a mindfulness practice would help? That may help keep you in the present instead of falling into daydreaming.
I think the rest of your life will be what you create and how you respond to those things you can't control.
xx
SuzA
I try to always be aware of who is around me, but who in the world would expected something like that to happen. That guy is, in my book, one sick bastard! His girlfriend should be kicking his butt to the curb.
I hope you never see him anywhere again. If you do, give him another punch for just for general purposes.
Stay put in there...give yourself some time off and rest as much as you can.
I got carjacked at shotgun point and another guy with a knife....and i wa like in surreal state for a while.....I remember the next day going to a restaurant to eat and i was in depersonalization....everything was dream like......It took a while to go back to well can't say "normal" to the "normal state of PTSD with the sudden new attcak adding to it...i should say.
It passes...stay put in there...
What a colossal dumb-ass that kid is.
Every inch of most stores today are under video surveillance.
He committed a sex offense.
On camera.
...I wonder how funny he'll think being on the sex offender registry is...
You're a good person. We like you around here.
Firstly, I'm really sorry if I made you feel worse by focusing on your achievement rather than how it has made you feel. But I was really impressed, I'd have frozen and become incoherent.
The flashbacks you are having are memories, terrible memories, but memories all the same. They are not the present and they do not represent real present danger.
You are no longer under threat from your grandfather. This was not him and you are no longer a defenceless child (which you showed fantastically). Can you keep telling yourself this, even if you don't believe it?
It sounds like this took every ounce of strength from you and you need to recover. Listen to yourself and what you need, take care of yourself.
I'm sending you mega truck loads of cotton wool hugs and anything else that will help you feel safe and secure.
Walmart sent me a beautiful card with the kindness words. They apologized for it ever happening and that I was questioned. They included a $250 gift card and got a call from company VP. This is a great Walmart wonderful friendly service in good neighborhood.
Sorry for what you have gone through. It angers me so much.
Dont beat yourself up about this. You deserve better. This is not your fault.
Hugs to you and thinking of you.
Your reaction was one of instinctive natural outrage, and that is a good thing to have.
It means you have boundaries.
One time a drunk guy kissed me in a bar, and without thinking about it I elbowed him hard.
It was just that same natural reaction.