Incest Survivors Support Group

Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...

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Jimbobaronio 12/10/2011

I am finding it difficult to find anyone that I can relate to.

I mean I understand that all of the stories people are share are horrible.

Locally I have tried to find a support group but there are never any
with men. Always with women and there is no way that a
guy could be in that group. Since most of the time it was a
male that hurt the them. No way they could or would feel
comfortable with a guy in the room while they are sharing and
expressing their pain.

I have finally found a trauma therapist and have found that
just talking about and sharing my pain and the stuff
my father did to me as a child is helping.

But I am trying to find other guys that had their fathers rape and torture them as kids.

I am pretty messed up and some days I find it difficult to do much
of anything.

Every 15 minutes some thought of the past pops in my head.

This sucks.

loum50 12/10/2011

My father physically, emotionally and sexually abused me. I have been in a mixed support group that was by invitation only. They had to be sure there were no abusers. It was very supportive, but I had to move away. I was in a mixed therapy group where there were abusers and I left that group very quickly. There is a therapy group for men who were sexually abused forming in my area but it is not wheelchair access able so that leaves me out. I saw a therapist that specialized in incest survivors for 10 years before I moved and she was wonderful. I am currently seeing a therapist, but incest survivors are not her specialty. She seems to be OK for now. I have covered a lot with my previous therapist just some new things came up.

deleted_user 12/12/2011

All five of my brothers were abused horribly and not a one of them will talk about it. I am not what you are looking for, but I sure want to encourage you. There is an important reality in the words you speak here.

Praying you find it. It breaks my heart to watch my brothers holding on to so much pain.

deleted_user 12/13/2011

Keep talking, keep looking, keep caring for yourself. The more we talk, the less is trapped and the more others feel it is safe to talk too.
I pray you find the help and support you need to heal.

bluedragon41 12/14/2011

My best friend and survivor buddy is a guy.

I'm sorry you can't find any mixed-gender groups, not every female survivor has a problem with being around males. The AMAC group I went to for a while was mixed, and I didn't find the guys intimidating.

loum50 12/15/2011

You really need to developed a support network. I would not be able to do this work without it. My therapy has become very intense dealing with that abused little child inside me and I wouldn't be able to handle all the pain with just a therapist. I miss not having a survivors group in the area where I live that I can attend, but I have found an Al-anon adult children group and many there are facing the same or similar issues. I also attend another Al-anon group. I was surprised at how accepting they were. I also find this site very helpful.

loum50 12/15/2011

I also wanted to add that it has been my experience that women who are in recover from incest developed a sixth sense about people and I've learned to trust that sixth sense. If I get the least bit of a creepy feeling about someone I stay away from them. I don't know if you have attended any mixed groups or have actually tried any groups where you are the only male, but the feelings are similar for women as well as men. It's the anger, the betrayal, the fear and all the other hurt. I feel safer in groups with women because my abuser was also my father.

deleted_user 12/16/2011

I hope you find a group that you are comfortable with, I also have that knack for sensing the creepy people and I am almost always right. I have trust issues and most sexually abused women do but I also have empathy for abuse victims, male or female. If you can only find a mixed gender support group give it a try, you may be pleasantly surprised. I couldn't go if abusers were there though. Good Luck

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