Incest Survivors Support Group

Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...

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sunnydays123 07/19/2012

Hello, I'm 32 and I've dated older men for a long time and my last one I moved into the same house with although we rent separate rooms. He is much older than me and that has been my problem with men. He is verbally abusive and today he cursed at me in front of my housemates and I was really embarrassed. I should probably move out but this is the best room I've ever lived in, other than that problem.

I should leave I know but I like here. I worked so hard to live in a beautiful place and I deserve to live here as much as he does.

He is ruining the peace for myself and the others.

I could call the cops but I think he will just keep on or get worse.

I've moved about 30 times since I left home 13 years ago. Most places are awful. I wish I had a friend to call. Thank you for being my friends.

deleted_user 07/19/2012

Firstly, he should be the one embarrassed by his behaviour, not you.

I guess the solution is to get him to move out. Are you still in a relationship with him? If yes, I'd say that ending this would be the first thing to do. Explain the situation to your housemates (you don't need to give them your history beyond this guy), maybe they'll help you kick him out or persuade him to leave (or maybe they'll call the cops for you)?

Fingers crossed. I really hope you get to stay there - without him.

sunnydays123 07/19/2012

Thank you but I think he's got his heels dug in. He's been here for about eight years, longer than anyone. I've only been here for one year. There are some reasons why I could find a more suitable place but I want to leave on my own time.

I have a big question mark about the whole thing.

Thank you for being there.

deleted_user 07/19/2012

Whatever you do, you have the right to do it in your own time. I still think it's worth talking to the others so they get to hear your story from you.

hugs

sunnydays123 07/19/2012

Probably a good idea. Thanks!

moonface21 07/19/2012

I agree with Breaking.I would talk to the others and make him leave.You deserve to have a stable home and be protected from abusive relationships.
I really hope you give yourself the right to stay in that beautiful home
.He does not deserve it.He does not deserve you;You should call the cops if he does not get it.

AimeeDFortis 07/19/2012

I think you deserve so much more than a man who humiliates and belittles you. I think you deserve someone, regardless of how much older he is, that recognizes what a gem he's got! I honestly think you should try and leave. I understand why you wanna do it on your own time, but I hate to see you stuck in a situation in which you're being put down. Especially when he does it in front of the other housemates. That's just not right.

Either way, no matter what you decide to do, stay strong and hang in there.

And know that you deserve WAY better.

sunnydays123 07/21/2012

Thanks all. I think I will try and find another place. It may not be as fancy as the place I have now, but maybe it will feel more like home without him here ruining everything.

Thanks.

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