Incest Survivors Support Group

Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...

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proudaunt 07/29/2012

I can not believe I did it. I have now told all of my family on my Mothers side of the family, the truth. I was raped and abused as a child by my Dad's Dad. People need to know whay am sick and "not getting better". It was a tough road but so glad I did it. Even found out one person had also been abused, by a none family member.

I still have a long way to go with my Dad's side of family. I know my Aunt and uncle know because my Dad gave back his Dad's ring to my Uncle and told him he can do whatever the hell he wants with it but he never wanted to see it again.

Problems are going to be my cousins I do not believe that they will believe me. They have strong ties to the family. These four people i have left from my Dad's side. I may never tell them or may tell them soon.

One step at a time.

deleted_user 07/29/2012

So proud of you! It is difficult information to share, but a necessity.
My abuse was told amongst my paternal family members. (One) of those family members actually approached me and told me he was sorry for what took place. However, NO ONE knows the extent and severity of the abuse. Family members know, but still associate. It is easier for them to ignore than to disassociate.

My maternal family members no longer associate. My cousins believe me. I wanted them to know as they all have children. I have a cousin who still chooses to stay in their home while visiting stating 'I just try to get along with everybody'.

Unless they have walked in your shoes, some just won't 'get it'. Some will support wholeheartedly, some won't.
I'm with you! I'm here for you!!

proudaunt 07/29/2012

Thanks it has been a hard road. My last person was a male cousin, that was hard. Telling a male, but I did it.

deleted_user 07/29/2012

I understand! It was the male cousin who responded that way. He has a daughter, which is one reason I told him. However, he has a 'bond' with the abuser of visiting and hunting with him - so difficult to change one's thought process. Male Cousin has no idea the extent of the abuse. Only one female cousin and her mother know the full extent. Have not had a good opportunity to reveal to others in the family.

Dragonfly2810 07/29/2012

proudaunt, I am so happy for you that you were able to do this! Just the fact that you did it says you ARE getting better. you made a change, and the change was part of you being true to yourself. (((proudaunt)))

AimeeDFortis 07/29/2012

I am SO proud of you!! That's really a huge step!! How do you feel? Does this make you feel liberated? I'm really glad to hear you did this! See? You have more strength and more courage than you even know!! Keep it up and give yourself a huge pat on the back. This is progress and even though it may have been hard, it was a very big step in your journey!

hopeless25 07/29/2012

Yay !!!!!!!! SOOOO proud congrats :) Like you said one step at a time... Knowing that you was able to take this step and survive, gives me hope that i too can take this step so thank you :)

deleted_user 07/29/2012

Telling is a HUGE step-although I don't discuss it often, my mom's side does know and one thing that really surprised me was that when I told, my aunt admitted that my father abused her too. It made me feel so validated and so much less crazy. I have no contact with my dad's side. The hardest thing for me is my brother. He knows what happened and still chooses to have a relationship with my father. It hurts me a lot. I am still not sure what to do about it. I definitely have distanced myself from my brother because of his choice to associate with our father, but I am not ready to cut him our of my life entirely.It is still really hard for me to discuss abuse with any family members and I know how hard and scary it can be. You are very brave!

deleted_user 07/30/2012

Awesome, I am smiling ear to ear! that is great :) Gives me so much courage to hear your story. Keep it up, sending hugs

tiki187 07/30/2012

Congratulations. It's a big step you took.

sadave46 07/31/2012

It can't be overstated how empowering it is when a survivor comes to the conclusion that keeping what happened to them and with it the fears of how family members might reaction if they tell is just not worth it and decides to tell and let the chips fall where they may...and with courage and head held high, tells.
Good for you! I can feel how the burden was lifted by your words, you have every right to feel proud of yourself. People will react the way they react.... what's important is you no longer bear the burden of keeping the secret and all the emotional baggage that comes with keeping it.. You have freed and liberated yourself of a great burden.....a huge step in the recovery process.

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