Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
These became more often starting in June. My life went down the toilet. I had to give up my job, constantly thought of suicide. The flashbacks are not only of my dad (who had visiting privileges, usually on holidays) but the worse ones come from a family friend who was a farmer. Cormfields bring on severe anxiety and grasshoppers make me completely panic. I am seeing a counsellor but wish I could just stop them and get my life back to normal. My Mom died 6 years ago and I think my safety net has finally developed a great gaping hole which I have fallen into.
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I feel so dirty and used I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
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Upon his departure, he remarked, "I am in many people’s pockets; no one will believe you." Have you ever grappled with the silence that follows sexual assault, where the perceived impossibility of being believed necessitates self-censorship?
What kind of real life support do you have?
In the meantime there are coping mechanisms you can adopt to remind yourself that you are in the present and safe now - connect physically with something around you, eg.plant your feet on the ground and focus on it, pinch yourself, hold an object. You can also try to remind yourself that no flashback lasts forever, they all pass eventually.
I wish you all the very best
I am also in my fifties. I had planned on living my life without dealing with the incest in my past (it's so ugly) but finally realized my health would probably never improve if I didn't confront it. By coincidence (NOT) this realization hit me soon after my father died.
I'm glad you've reached out - there is a lot of great wisdom and support available. You are not alone!
I also want to let you know that there is a PTSD group on DS where people have lots of experience dealing with flashbacks and other overwhelming symptoms.