Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
ok i have a grasp for the most part on my abuse from many many years ago, partly due to the fact that i blanked it from my mind for so long things i do seem so much like second nature. but i am wondering if others are like me to in how that act and if its a way i deal with things from the abuse.
first i was abused by a male cousin since that time, i find it hard to let other guys get close as friends, its a trust thing i actually understand that part of it, no one else seems to, but i do. which is for the most part all that matters, this is why my friends list is mostly females by the way, not that i am trying to get alot of women as friends, i talk to all of them for the most part. anyhow my question does anyone feel themselves drawn to whatver the opposite sex of your abuse, not for any kind of sexual relationshiop but as just a relationship?
second, i have an urge to not shelter myself but leave myself open, not so much to be a victim, but to dare anyone to try to. i nkow this sounds strange, but i welcome someone to try and victimize me, and see where it gets them, in other words is this like my defense mechanism kicking in or because aqll my childhood i was bullied by anyone and everyone and its my way of saying come on try again.?
Third i feel the need to constantly occupy myself with someone, to talk to, to associate with, a minute does not go by i am not chatting online, texting or on my phone, if i dont i feel like i fall into a deep depression. , so does anyone feel like they need constant contact. ? i guess is the best way to describe thi
and lastly has no desire whatsoever to have sex with someone, i mean i have urges like the rest of the world but honestly if its once a month, that i say i need sex its amazing
Posted on 10/03/12, 11:53 pm
first i was abused by a male cousin since that time, i find it hard to let other guys get close as friends, its a trust thing i actually understand that part of it, no one else seems to, but i do. which is for the most part all that matters, this is why my friends list is mostly females by the way, not that i am trying to get alot of women as friends, i talk to all of them for the most part. anyhow my question does anyone feel themselves drawn to whatver the opposite sex of your abuse, not for any kind of sexual relationshiop but as just a relationship?
second, i have an urge to not shelter myself but leave myself open, not so much to be a victim, but to dare anyone to try to. i nkow this sounds strange, but i welcome someone to try and victimize me, and see where it gets them, in other words is this like my defense mechanism kicking in or because aqll my childhood i was bullied by anyone and everyone and its my way of saying come on try again.?
Third i feel the need to constantly occupy myself with someone, to talk to, to associate with, a minute does not go by i am not chatting online, texting or on my phone, if i dont i feel like i fall into a deep depression. , so does anyone feel like they need constant contact. ? i guess is the best way to describe thi
and lastly has no desire whatsoever to have sex with someone, i mean i have urges like the rest of the world but honestly if its once a month, that i say i need sex its amazing
Posted on 10/03/12, 11:53 pm
I have found myself drawn to females all my life, to the point I thought I might be a closet lesbian, closeted even to myself that is. I was always trying to find that close female friend, but I always thought it was because my mom was so controlling but distant so I was trying to resolve that. It could be it's what you say, that I'm drawn to the opposite sex of my abuser.
The second one I don't experience, but I wonder if you are looking for something familiar. A trait I hear people talk about is not being able to feel your feelings, which I certainly have. But for me, the bad feelings can get through. Maybe you are looking just to feel something, knowing that when someone hurts you or attacks you you will feel fear or pain.
The third one I think might be related to the first one, where you are drawn to people. For myself, I felt so isolated all my life, even like I was an alien in the wrong place, not able to fit in anywhere. I have had people tell me I'm demanding emotionally in a relationship, any kind of friendship, and I know I come to people with a deep desire for connection. If you are a natural extrovert, maybe you feel that more acutely.
The last one I feel like that too. I waited a long time to have sex, thinking that I wanted it really bad but just not yet. Then when I finally found the courage to start a relationship I found I couldn't live up to my own expectations regarding frequency. I wasn't afraid of sex exactly, or triggered, but my desires just didn't keep pace. I thought it was just aging or something, but maybe it's related to the original events.
Thanks for posting, it's encouraging to hear how someone else is getting along.
The Internet now provides that detached quality that allows people to have relationships with people one has never seen. Nothing wrong with that, only if that's the only source of available human contact.
Do you receive professional help? Do you feel that you might need it?