Incest Survivors Support Group

Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...

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confused

gettingitstraight
gettingitstraight
i am just curious if anyone else has a situation similar to mine, here is a brief run down, i was abused when i was very young by an out of state cousin another male. who was in his teens, i blocked it from my memory for a long time and within the last 8 years remembered things. all my life i felt like i was not worthy of things, i had awesome friends but i felt i was not worthy of such friends, so i found bad friends who bullyed and picked on my cause i felt like i deserved it, never knowing why. i cant have a real friendship with guys, it just does not feel comfortable, i have accepted my past and i move forward daily in my life, but i still feel like a total outcast in everythign
arbe
arbe
Hi. Oh for sure, I still have a hard time with other guys, Really hard to trust. My 'father' abused all of us from 2? until I left home or got crazy.I do have a couple of men friends that are close but that has taken about 10 to 12 years for this to happen and there is still a small part of me that holds back a bit. These two guys are not guy guys by any means, still. But yeah, I can relate to your feelings and thoughts around 'not deserving .I also feel 'less than others' only when I'm at a low now, so it does and can get better. Oh yes, earlier in my life I hung out with some real idiots who weren't safe at all. Ignored all my feelings then. So it's sort of similar and I have felt like a bit of an outcast most of my life. Getting much less now.
Take care
deleted_user
deleted_user
I feel like a TOTAL outcast, always, all the time. I can't handle going out anywhere; I get completely afraid. I shake, I am hypervigilent. I don't trust anyone, anywhere ever. I feel like everyone can "see" all the ugly things I feel inside. Like I stick out like a sore thumb. I have no friends (well, I have one friend, and she's a survivor too, but our relationship is in it's infancy, relatively speaking, and we're both very tentative). I've never had friends because I've always felt the way you're saying: unworthy. Same with relationships. That's why I've always chosen toxic relationships.
moonface21
moonface21
I totally identify with you saying"I felt like I was not worthy of things"
In the past, I did not allow myself to own anything, let alone money. or nice things which I would automatically redistribute around me.it looked like detachment from the world and generosity but was partly caused by very low self esteem.
I managed to somehow lose all the jewels that would be given to me ,as I thought I did not reaLly deserve tHem.When I was young,I would not even notice nice potential boy friends but would always fall under the power of abusive guys and thought "normal" guys would not want of a freak like me.So that I should learn to make do with that.
Fortunately, I am becoming aware of this and I am reprogramming myself to accept good things to come my way, true friends and welcome happiness.
You deserve it too.