I'm so sorry to hear this Ioum. Can you make up a non-bed bed so that you can get comfortable and sleep without having to go to your real bed? Alternatively is there anything you can do to your bedroom to make it a safer place?

hello loum

i also have times after therapy sessions when I start reactivating and having flas backs in bed and awful nightmares.

i used to have reluctancy to take a sleeping tablet because i had been drugged up in my childhood by my perpetrators .

My therapist has shown me the positive side of using medicine reasonably as a tool towards well being and recovery.

I take a Zolpidem evry night.It helps me fall asleep and feel refreshed next morning.I also listen to a nice radio programme at night in bed with my walkman.

Thanks, my bedroom is safe. It's the anxiety of going to bed and it was triggered after the last therapy session. That anxiety is not with the part of me that is conscious, but one of my child parts. It took me a long time even to know what it was and where it came from. I have pills that will knock me out that I take every night. I have trouble even jacking myself take the pills.

Last night I managed to take my pills and eventually went to bed but even the pills didn't put me to sleep in bed. I do have a big comfortable chair with ottoman that I came back out to the living room to sleep in.

When I woke up at 4 AM I was able to go to bed and sleep. It's all about 2 AM I think. The last session with Ellen, my therapist triggered something. Body memories for sure. When I see her again I will have to explore that further, but it will not be until the middle of July. She's on vacation.

I do not think she or I thought I would have such a strong reaction. More proof that something happened in my bedroom when I was a child.

I think you are completely correct Lou.There is a memory and part there causing your anxiety.I know you have been speaking of these sleep troubles for a good while now.Sometimes it takes a good while for these parts to surface.I have one that has been ongoing for nearly two years now.It's been very slow to emerge.I find that constant reassurance that they are safe and grounding helps.Telling them you accept and love them also helps for them to come forward but even with that they come at their own time when they are ready as I am sure you are fully aware of by now.

I'm the same way...bed and night time are when the anxiety and rage are highest.

I have been working with that child part to help him fee safe and cared for. I have had some success, but it's tenuous. That therapy session has really triggered him. I need to talk to my therapist. I see her 6/15.

I'm doing much worse tonight. I'm feeling overwhelmed and very depressed. I hope I'm not slipping back into major depression. I don't know if it would help if I called the suicide prevention line. I don't know if I could.

Loum, you are not alone. Were here for you. keep talking about what youre going through, you will feel some relief. Nights are hard. It will get better. In the meantime be sweet to yourself. So you can't sleep? What's something you can do instead that you never get to do? Whether its draw, play video games, read, whatever, start letting yourself think about things that make you excited. Nothing makes me sleep well than a feeling of oh that was cool or I learned something new. Be kind to yourself. You have a strong internal parent that you've had to cultivate, we all have. Let yourself be kind to yourself. This is truly a beautiful and fascinating world. Any insomniac should be on reddit. Seriously nice people, smart people. Get on there. You are not alone.

I called the suicide prevention help line last night and that was no help. I'm usually better in the morning.

Hiya.
What's wrong with sleeping in the chair?
Is it not comfortable enough?

...I spent a couple years sleeping on a couch.
I spent the year before last sleeping with lights on-like occasionally all of them, so the room was lit up like an operating suite.

It passed. It always does, sooner or later.