My older brother was arrested for drug charges Sunday and is looking at doing some time. He was my abuser and all this has brought back all this trauma I'd dealt with.

I'm upset on so many different levels. I'm disappointed he can't grow up. Im disappointed that my dad wants to hire a fancy lawyer to fix this. He won't ever learn if my dad keeps bailing him out. My grandma is trying to make all his behavioral issues about a near death car accident he was in two years ago. His anger, mood swings were all there. We just gave him the car accident as an excuse for his behavior. It's made it "normal" so he doesn't control his behavior.

My mom has made it her mission to show my grandma he has always has the behavior issues. He had prior drug problems with meth and that's when he started publically broadcasting how he was in private. My parents are the only family members that know what happened to my little brother and I. My mom chose my older brothers arrest as the moment to tell my grandma, aunt, and who knows else. I'm relieved they know. I'm furious she didn't talk to me about it. And she plans on talking to my older brother about it upon his jail release. He'll call me a lair. My little brother will deny anything happened and will hate me.

I was moving on. Graduated college, found a good job, found a man who loves me and I'm planning to marry. I'm pregnant and having a baby boy in May. I finished counseling. For the first Time in my life I'm happy and the abuse isnt The focus Of my life.

But this keeps coming back.