I which I could end your loneliness, though all I can do is make some suggestions. If you have any support groups in the area that share your problems, that is probably a good place to start. Talking things out on here alo helps. And I would love to pop over and chat, though you are probably nowheres near me.

Good luck,
Denis

I do that one too -- stay in my house and wonder why no one reaches out to me. And (I speak for myself here), when they do, I have a hard time reaching back to them.

We all get lonely sometimes. I sometimes get lonely in the middle of a very hectic family life. For me, it's not the lack of other people that makes me lonely, but my fear of reaching out to them and being rejected. But something I forget sometimes is that friendship goes both ways and you get what you put into it. At this point, at the beginning of my recovery, I'm not able to put in much. I just don't have it in me, except for places like this site. I am working on being my own friend right now and just figuring out who I am is sooooo difficult and tiring some days. I don't have the energy for friendships as well and for today, that's o.k.

I have found support groups brilliant for a bit of company and support. People in them are very caring and I have found myself getting support as well as supporting others. Good luck!

One of the unfortunate aftereffects of incest is sometimes going to be loneliness. When our boundaries and trust have not only been violated, but destroyed by someone we love and should have been able to trust, it's very difficult to learn to trust again. And this paranoia, if you will, sometimes cause us to be a little bit standoffish, and that is perfectly understandable. We've been hurt, deeply, and we don't ever want to be hurt again. To protect ourselves, we don't let others get too close.

One of the things a survivor needs to do is begin to learn how to trust again, and how to let others into their life. This is something you need to discuss with your therapist. In the meantime, is there any reason why you can't call your friends or pop in on them? I know they are busy, but all they times you all could get together and go to the mall?

Do you have any interests or hobbies? Are there any groups in your area that allow people with your interests to get together every so often? A club or something? Is that something you'd consider joining? If you're not into anything right now, is there something that you are interested in that might be developed into a hobby?

Are there certain subjects that you really enjoy in school? Have you looked into the possibility of pursuing these areas of interest as careers? Are there any organizations in your area that offer support and/or encouragement to young people who are interested in careers in this area? I'm thinking here of groups like 4-H or Young Entrepreneurs of America.

Are you interested in politics or the November 2010 mid-term elections? If so, have you considered volunteering to work for the candidate or cause of your choice? This is not only a great way to make new friends, but it gets you involved in your local community as well. And we can never have too many people who are politically and socially aware.

Those are just a few ideas for you to consider. To get out of the depression you're in, you are going to need to be creative and think of ways in which you can reach out to others in a manner which feels safe and non-threatening to you. With a little bit of thought, I'm sure you'll be able to come up with a few more of your own ideas that will work for you. Good luck to you.

I feel the exact way you do..I don't have very many friends because of my trust issues...I am working on it with my counselor,and I am going to discuss the possibility that I suffer from PTSD-(Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). I hope that knowing for sure if I have it will help me in the future.

Tom B. aka Ihman

I know it's hard right now, but have you considered a summer job? Not only will you be able to save a bit of money [anime convention?] but it will keep you distracted.

It's not a good long term solution or else you find yourself fourtysomething working 100 hours a week with no life whatsoever to speak of... Support groups are WONDERFUL, and I hope you are going to one, but that only fills an hour or two.

I know jobs are few and far between right now. You might have to get a little inventive. Put up fliers offering your services - babysitting, if you like kids, walking dogs if you like animals, pulling weeds or yard work.

Good luck and don't give up!

lol i wish i could go to a anime convention! it would be soo awesome!!