My parents are both dead now, but my mother knew of the abuse and would leave the room when it started. For many wears I excused her by saying she was probably afraid of him, she could have at least tried to protect me. I was a little kid.

HELLO SO SORRY ABOUT THE ABUSE, YOUR MUMS WHERE WRONG NOT TO STOP IT, ACTUALLY IT IS SICK, YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO FEEL ANGRY, AND TO HATE, BUT TO MOVE ON, JUST FORGIVE HER AND MOVE ON, OF COURSE YOU CANNOT FORGIVE WHAT SHE HAS DONE, THAT IS JUST EVIL AND WICKED, I DON'T KNOW WHY YOUR MUM IS STAYING ,BUT SOMETIME THEY BECAME LIKE THEY CAN'T MOVE ON, JUST BEING DOMINATED ...SO SORRY GIRLS, LOVE LUCY..

Im new to this as of now, Im 50, married with two kids. a severe case of ptsd and depression and have been in and out of the hospital 10 times. I go to therapy but feel like Im getting no where. I was abused by my father,(that word is not in my vocab) and in and out of foster homes and group homes where things werent any better. I need some help if you can not say to" GET OVER IT, ITS BEEN YEARS" Or something overly stupid. I think that I identifie with hating your mom because I cant stop hating mine because of the same thing. She is still with him after they throw me out. I was 14 at the time. Thanks signed hopelessly tired of it all

I feel the same about my mother. She stayed with my father and continued to have kids (8 in total) even though he was already abusing us by the time she'd had 4.
My older brother molested me, my younger brother molested my youngest sister and that's just what I am aware of. I think my dad molested me and my sister(s), but I have no concrete memories, just a feeling.
I responded to this trauma by becoming promiscuous in my early 20's, mistaking sex for love, and basically living a dysfunctional life for YEARS.
My dad died in 2001. My mother is still alive, but I have no real relationship with her. She's narcissistic and selfish and always has been.
The saving grace for me is that through years of different counselors, bad marriages, and this site, I have finally realized that I am worth love and respect. I love myself now and that allows me to love others.
It takes work, but it's all positive.
We can move beyond the trauma to re-program our thinking! One day at a time...
(((((hugs)))))

YOU ARE ALL SO BRAVE, LOVING HUGS LUCY**

This is what I am struggling with right now. My mother was abused by her older brother for years, her mother knew and did nothing to really stop it. She knew this brother also molested and raped her other sisters and even some brothers, she is one of 16 children. My grandmother never did anything to stop it. My mother knew her family history and I remember her telling me when I was very young, about five years old to never allow myself to be alone with my uncle M, her younger brother. Well, memories of sexual abuse have been resurfacing this year, that seems to have happened for a period of about three years when I was age five to eight. Now thirty years later all these memories are surfacing and the feelings that come with them and I am really struggling. Not only that I was diagnosed bipolar, attempted suicide and had to move in with my mother and stepfather because I couldn't live on my own for awhile. I'm now processing these feelings and this is the worst place to be living.

I'm sorry you're feeling the way you are right now, it's a tough place to be. Clearly there are plenty of us to offer you support, a shoulder to cry on, a virtual hug or ten.

Take care of yourself. Your mother should have stepped in, that never should have happened to you.

i am sorry you had to go through what you did. Hating your mom is also understandable. One thing I have learned though, in order to put it behind you, you need to totally forgive her and your abusers.

Forgiveness is not for them, it is for us, for you. Your abusers could care less if you forgive them or if you don't. Every day that you hold this unforgiveness in your heart, is another day you give to your abusers. It is another day that you are controlled by what happened to you. If you are to heal and have a life free of the past as much as you can, you must take back the control on your life. To do thid, you must forgive and move on. You must come to a place where it is not dominating your mind.

Incest and abuse will always have an effect on you, your life was shaped by it. So it will always be there to some degree. The task before you is to get to a point where the bad things are minimized and you take the experience and use it to help those who are traveling down the same road you have been down.

I know, my sexual abuse started when I was age 2. My mental abuse started before I was born and the phisical abuse started at birth. I made a life for myself and I don't allow the past to control me, but I do use the past to reach out and help others who needs to know they aren't alone and needs someone to care and listen to them.

if its not your fault for being abuse, Why do you need to forgive yourself? anyone? globart61

Hello I am also new here. I was molested by my step-father. I was 12 when it started and 23 when I finally put a stop to it. Through all the years this was going on, I was terrified that my mother would find out as I knew she would blame me. However add to this, I was molested by my uncle when I was about 8 or 9, he was only 14 and my grandfather caught him on top of me and dragged him off and took him outside and give him a beating, but my mother grabbed me and slapped my face, calling me a slut and screaming at me and accusing me of leading my uncle on. So when my father started doing things to me, I was more terrified of my mother than I was of my father and what was happening to me. I realised years later, that she did know and she did nothing to prevent it, except call me a liar when I did tell someone in the family. Needless to say as an adult, I hate my mother. Both my uncle and my stepfather have passed away so there is no more pain from them, but I can never forgive my mother, because she failed me twice, when her brother was raping me, and when her husband was doing it.

hello Kadlee, so sorry about the abuse, good of you to share and not bottle it up, wondering how you are doing now, you have every right to hate your mother, but forgiveness is healing for the forgiver, you don't have to tell her, just to yourself, the pain that you suffered, was great, no child should be abused, and by the parents, who should have been your protector, if you need a friend I am here, loving hugs princess Lucy''

I am so sorry. I don't have children by choice. The thought of bringing my innocent child into such a deprave world terrifies me. If I have children my job is to protect my boy and my girl. I would move mountains for them. I would kill for them.