Been married about 10 years and have always had a case of ED...not critical, but definitely needed on weekend after the wife and I have gone out and had a couple of drinks. Apparently I have a varicocele which a doctor told me they could take care of, but would only have 50% chance of curing ED, so I've been on Viagra and Cialis since.

What my problem is now (and has been at times in the past) is that I have to guess when to take the medication. Sex always has to be initiated by me, and even then it's a toss-up because my wife is sometimes not in the mood, so she says. This happens sometimes even though she knows I've taken medication, which only stays in the system 1-3 days (depending on the med).

About a month ago, I took Cialis on a Friday and had her reject me that night and subsequent 2 nights. A lot of $$$ to spend, unfortunately as each pill is $60. She physically pushed me away all 3 times and I finally went and slept in the other room. We have barely talked since then, and when we do it's only about the kids or chores. Even on my birthday she didn't initiate any kind of physical intimacy, not even a kiss.

Now, my wife is from a traditional culture that usually expects the man to make all the moves, but I feel this is going overboard. I've had issues like this in the past where I took Viagra and she wasn't in the mood, wasting the medicine.

Do any others have similar issues? If so, how do you handle them? In the past I brought up that maybe we should have some way of signalling that either I'd taken the medicine or her signalling in some way that she was in the mood, but she shot this down saying it wasn't 'spontaneous.'

Any advice appreciated!