Impotence & Erectile Dysfunction Support Group
Erectile dysfunction or impotence is a sexual dysfunction characterized by the inability to develop or maintain an erection of the penis for satisfactory sexual intercourse regardless of the capability of ejaculation. There are various underlying causes, such as diabetes, many of which are medically reversible. The causes may be physiological or psychological.
Ok.
Angry today! 5 years with my man. No real sex for 4 yrs. Getting worse. Accepted the best I can. Not his fault, its his age (67). Doc says no medical reason. He says he'll get the pills. Goes to doc - asks about something else. No pills. I'm old. Shouldn't expect more. Lucky to have what I've got. Old woman expecting too much. Should be happy with cuddling. Alternatives to sex. I will give up hoping. But he teases til I give in and take the lead and move on him - again. Why? Makes me feel crap. Hard work. Tired. Try to ignore. Sad.
Today I wake up. He stroking me. I move. He stops. What the....? He thinks I'm asleep again. He does it again a bit harder. I move. He stops. I'm aroused now. He knows how to turn me on. And so frustrated. Keeps doing same thing. Stopping. Starting. He feels himself - he's still soft. He can't tell if he's hard or soft unless he feels himself (Why bother - always soft now)
Why angry? Don't tease me. Don't start what you can't finish. 30 seconds before its gone. Every time. If I can even get it hard for him. He won't help himself. Tired of his fingers and 'alternatives'. I like sex. Bodies together. Special closeness.
Friend has new man. Same age as mine. All working well. She 'has no complaints'. I'm jealous. I hate her. Don't want to see her. Don't want to hear it. But I'll get over it. Must feel happy for her.
But he says it's worse for him. More frustrating for him. Says I'm lucky. I can still have sex if I want it but he can't. Don't know what's right. I feel bad sad angry tired but it's worse for him so I must be selfish
Angry today! 5 years with my man. No real sex for 4 yrs. Getting worse. Accepted the best I can. Not his fault, its his age (67). Doc says no medical reason. He says he'll get the pills. Goes to doc - asks about something else. No pills. I'm old. Shouldn't expect more. Lucky to have what I've got. Old woman expecting too much. Should be happy with cuddling. Alternatives to sex. I will give up hoping. But he teases til I give in and take the lead and move on him - again. Why? Makes me feel crap. Hard work. Tired. Try to ignore. Sad.
Today I wake up. He stroking me. I move. He stops. What the....? He thinks I'm asleep again. He does it again a bit harder. I move. He stops. I'm aroused now. He knows how to turn me on. And so frustrated. Keeps doing same thing. Stopping. Starting. He feels himself - he's still soft. He can't tell if he's hard or soft unless he feels himself (Why bother - always soft now)
Why angry? Don't tease me. Don't start what you can't finish. 30 seconds before its gone. Every time. If I can even get it hard for him. He won't help himself. Tired of his fingers and 'alternatives'. I like sex. Bodies together. Special closeness.
Friend has new man. Same age as mine. All working well. She 'has no complaints'. I'm jealous. I hate her. Don't want to see her. Don't want to hear it. But I'll get over it. Must feel happy for her.
But he says it's worse for him. More frustrating for him. Says I'm lucky. I can still have sex if I want it but he can't. Don't know what's right. I feel bad sad angry tired but it's worse for him so I must be selfish
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I find myself going places in the car and not wanting to get out of the car. I come back home and I don't want to get out of the car. I think it's the only time I spend reflecting. Chronic tiredness from Long Covid plus the immunosupressing meds for my Crohn's is slowing me down but everything just seems a massive effort. I am dealing with the paperwork following my father's death but it's not...
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Wow, it's the middle of the week already!Today is our 11 year anniversary, so we're going out to a nice dinner. I'm losing a lot of sleep these days, hence a wonky schedule and uncomfortable feelings. But I know it will pass, eventually.I hope all of you have a peaceful day, and may good things come your way!
This will pay him back for all the times he teases me then can't finish the job
Stiff Days is a herbal supplement which means it's not been medically tested. Herbal treatments are deemed safe until there are problems reported.
It was however deemed to be an "illegal drug" last year with a large number of other enhancement supplements. See.
http://pharmacyservices.utah.edu/alerts/165.html
It appears to have been related to another product Stiff Nights which in 2009
"The U.S. Food and Drug Administration is warning consumers that Stiff Nights, a product marketed as a dietary supplement for sexual enhancement, contains an ingredient that can dangerously lower blood pressure and is illegal. "
Please don't dose someone with something you buy on the internet. If something happens you will be culpable.
I wish he'd just say he wants to give up trying or see the doc and get some pills. I guess he's more resigned to it than I am. He must like things the way it they are. Minimum effort for him. Performing monkey act by me.
Research on the definition of sex showed over half people polled said manual stimulation isn't considered sex and that's what he does for me.
I'm 58, too young to live the rest if my life without real sex.
Another unsuccessful weekend over. Not seeing him for two weeks now. Back to the drawing board.
After over 4 yrs of disappearing erections getting worse it must have finally got to him as much as it does me.
He went to doc for pills. Doc said come back when chest problem is cleared.
He went back to doc again. Doc said come back when dizziness has gone.
He went to doc again. Feeling well but now doc says blood pressure slightly up (never was before) - buy a home monitor and come back again in a few weeks when it's lower.
After Christmas.
After New Year.
Next year.
In 2 years.
What does it matter?
I'm tired of it all. I knew he wouldn't get them for one reason or another.
NOW he's miserable! NOW he's sulky! NOW he's fed up! NOW he's frustrated!
Like I've been for 4 years when he wouldn't get pills because he said they cost too much! When I pranced about like performing monkey to satisfy him in other ways! When he was in control and ignored my feelings! When I tried to be considerate of his fragile ego!
When he would have been healthy enough to get them!
I am so angry. And sad. I have better sex with my vibrator than with him now. It's too complicated. It's too much hard work.
Couples making love on TV make me cry. I'll never feel that again. How can I deal with that?
He says it's all still the same in his head. What good's that to anyone :(
At this point I don't know what to recommend other than him providing you satisfaction with oral and using toys.
You are echoing my feelings and my life. I am 44 my husband is 45, we have been married for 21 years and he has been had ED to some degree for 15 of those years.
Sex was never great but it got worse until it disappeared. We last has full intercourse about 9 years ago. There is no alternatives in our relationship - he has internet porn (what I believe to be the cause of his/our problem) and I have my rabbit..... He is more than capable of turning me on but will not do so. He will not allow me to go anywhere near him.
I have screamed, shouted, cried, gone silent, accused him of being gay, threatened to leave, gone to (single and couples) counselling, gone to sex therapy - all to no avail.
He says he will go and see the doctor and get some Viagra - but never does.
I can't read books with sensual scenes, or watch films (especially with him in the room), I have had to stop visiting a friend as she kept going on about how much her husband was pestering her for sex....
I have no confidence, no self-worth, no nothing. But I have let this happen to me. I am not brave enough to leave (even if I could afford to which I can't) because I have allowed him to take every bit of self-esteem away from me.
I look at the websites that show men wanting no strings attached sex - but I'm not brave enough.......
I just want my husband to want me.
Wish your man would wake up and see the big picture. This can be fixed very easily by visiting a doctor or urologist because I have been there.
I know it's never going to get "better". I am sure we will find a way around any challenge we face.
You say I'm lucky that he's still interested but it feels like a clockwork routine he gets through as fast as possible so that I'll get onto pleasure him. There doesn't feel like there's any real connection or feelings involved.
I've had health problems for the last month and the doc can't find a physical reason. He's referred me to a specialist but thinks it's stress related. I stayed away from my partner and my BP dropped 40 points in a week - I think it's my body telling me something my head was ignoring. I'm starting to see things more clearly now I've put space between us