Hypothyroidism Support Group
Hypothyroidism is the disease state caused by insufficient production of thyrohormone by the thyroid gland. There are several distinct causes for chronic hypothyroidism, the most common being Hashimoto's thyroiditis and hypothyroidism following radioiodine therapy for hyperthyroidism. Advanced hypothyroidism may cause severe complications, the most serious one of which is...
I am, unfortunately finding myself in that "grey" space, where nothing is black and white. My only two lab tests were polarized, one low and one normal. My symptoms, while they vary from day to day, are slowly getting worse. It's been two months since I've seen my MD, and I will see him again in 5 days to tell him that it is unreasonable for me to live this way without any medication, or SOMETHING. I also have a consultation with a ND on the same day.
Having these thyroid issues, whatever it might be, among other things, too, I'm sure...has been all consuming. My every day is determined by how I feel. I work, (and most days barely get through the day, but I tough it out), come home, eat, and sleep. I don't socialize, I don't get out, I do nothing. It's made me a hermit to my own life. I try to put on an "I'm doing.......ok" face, but inside I am down, I feel like this whole thing is making me ugly, I've had to chop off my hair, I stare at myself in the mirror, no longer recognizing the reflection.
Bless those precious few in my life that love me and support me, my mom making me casseroles so I don't have to try to find the energy to cook, my boyfriend for taking care of me as best he can from 1500 miles away, and a handful of a few other family and friends who just support me.
But what the hell is wrong with everyone else who seems to think they know what I should be doing to take care of myself? And what the hell is wrong with my "friend" who thinks that I "should just get to yoga, and even lay on the floor to let the heat sweat me out...you can do that much!". Seriously? I can barely drive home at the end of my day, nevermind getting to yoga after that, too. "You can't just go for a walk?" she says. F*** no I can't!
I feel like such a wimp after talking with her! But I can't lie...the fatigue almost hurts some days. I have never in my life been through anything like this...EVER! Somedays it feels so overwhelming...like tonight. I want to sob, and I would give the world to have my boyfriend here, just to hold me.
Sorry, I just needed to vent...I'm hoping for some start towards a solution this friday. But I have a feeling that nothing will be black and white for me...I'm gonna be a part of that grey....
Having these thyroid issues, whatever it might be, among other things, too, I'm sure...has been all consuming. My every day is determined by how I feel. I work, (and most days barely get through the day, but I tough it out), come home, eat, and sleep. I don't socialize, I don't get out, I do nothing. It's made me a hermit to my own life. I try to put on an "I'm doing.......ok" face, but inside I am down, I feel like this whole thing is making me ugly, I've had to chop off my hair, I stare at myself in the mirror, no longer recognizing the reflection.
Bless those precious few in my life that love me and support me, my mom making me casseroles so I don't have to try to find the energy to cook, my boyfriend for taking care of me as best he can from 1500 miles away, and a handful of a few other family and friends who just support me.
But what the hell is wrong with everyone else who seems to think they know what I should be doing to take care of myself? And what the hell is wrong with my "friend" who thinks that I "should just get to yoga, and even lay on the floor to let the heat sweat me out...you can do that much!". Seriously? I can barely drive home at the end of my day, nevermind getting to yoga after that, too. "You can't just go for a walk?" she says. F*** no I can't!
I feel like such a wimp after talking with her! But I can't lie...the fatigue almost hurts some days. I have never in my life been through anything like this...EVER! Somedays it feels so overwhelming...like tonight. I want to sob, and I would give the world to have my boyfriend here, just to hold me.
Sorry, I just needed to vent...I'm hoping for some start towards a solution this friday. But I have a feeling that nothing will be black and white for me...I'm gonna be a part of that grey....
Hopefully you have some luck with this next appointment. Let us know how it goes.
xxoo
All of us...like it or not...will at one time or another deal with an illness. Sometimes it's just easier not to talk to them about it all and set up boundaries. I learned to say NO alot - without explanation. It's nobody's business why I can't do something. No is enough.
Expecting others to understand is like jousting windmills....
Helerone - it's good to know that some days you don't feel any symptoms, and other days you do. I have to admit the past two days have felt "ok", and I'm sitting here worrying that I might be going crazy! Am I just imagining these symptoms? I'm worried to get some labs again in the future that says I'm normal, still, and the rollercoaster of it all is making me feel like I'm crazy!
MButterfly - you're right, I need to set boundaries, and just not talk about it. I'm such an open person by nature that it's going to be hard to "shut down" with people. Seems I have to shut down with people on a lot of things these days. But I think its good advice.
utahgal - I know you're still struggling...I've been watching your posts. It's odd, the people I know in person that have hypothyroidism have black and white situations. Their labs say "yes", and so they have meds, and they're feeling normal. I see with you that everything is grey, and I have a feeling that my situation is going to be grey too. I'm very much looking forward to my MD and ND appointments on Friday.
Thanks tekwriter and bm55 - it's good to know there is support here.
I'm feeling really low today, because I feel like I'm hyperanalyzing my symptoms - are they really there, are they not there? No one-single symptom is the same from one day to the next. They ebb and flow, one day this one is bad, the next day its something else. It's completely messing with my mind.
I'm glad that there are people here that understand though...no one else seems to get it...
I try to keep up on my vitamins and what I eat had more impact on me than it ever has in my entire life.
I am still in the mode where I don't like to "commit" because I don't know how I will feel, but I don't bother explaining so much anymore. Sometimes I will just say that I have other plans. Nobody necessarily needs to know that my other plans may include a good cry, a nap, some alone time to re-energize and regroup.
I can commit or make plans to do "something extra" at the beginning
of the day. Making evening plans has to be planned (don't over exert beforehand).
Hoping this too shall pass... Hang in there, we understand!
You can make plans for early in the day, but forget the night times. You won't have the energy. Lightbulb moment.
I mentioned to my endo that I do sudoku and can look at one puzzle for hours without seeing another move. But in the morning I see it right off. She immediately added Cytomel to my levo that I'd been taking for a year after my TT. Also, I used the term brain fog, but until I told her specifically what was happening (with sudoku), she had paid no attention.
And I asked her if SHE had ever had hypo symptoms (she hadn't) and I told her emphatically they were HORRIBLE!. I had been hyper for 30 years before my TT and nobody had ever cared. So why did I have to remain hypo? She looked at me, said I was a good bargainer, and gave me the dose increase I asked for.
Anyway, back to the subject, were all your labs drawn in the morning? Maybe if you have them drawn late in the afternoon the results would be different... Worth a try. Fingers crossed for you dear.
Try telling your friend "I tried that...it didn't help." Or maybe have her run stairs like football players do but have her carry 50 pounds of sugar. After she quits, exhausted, ask her if she wants to go for a run. When she looks at you like you're crazy, tell her "yeah, that's how I feel all the damn time."
StillListing - you make a good point too, don't make plans for the evening. I'm starting to learn that, cause I can over-commit. But you're right, if I plan for it, I can plan for an easy day, too.
Thanks for those suggestions....
Marablue the end of the day would just stress me out. I would think of what I needed to do later and have increased anxiety and mini panic attacks. My brain was gone by 4, but I could stay up to a whopping 10 and be somewhat coherent. I had no quality in the late day, unless I planned for it. Hopefully I have turned the corner and am wishing you luck at your next visit.