Hypothyroidism Support Group
Hypothyroidism is the disease state caused by insufficient production of thyrohormone by the thyroid gland. There are several distinct causes for chronic hypothyroidism, the most common being Hashimoto's thyroiditis and hypothyroidism following radioiodine therapy for hyperthyroidism. Advanced hypothyroidism may cause severe complications, the most serious one of which is...
Hi,
I am hypothyroid. I was diagnosed in March of this year. I am really struggling. I have been sick for three years.
In 2012, I began breaking out in huge allergic reactions all over my body along with eczema and no one knew why (never had allergy issues previously, I was 30). I had severe eczema on my hands for years but had been mostly successful in controlling it with steroid creams and light therapy. I was passed around to different doctors and was diagnosed with after awhile Cushing's Syndrome from oral steroid/injections over use. I was told by this endocrinologist that as soon as I went off steroids, all my problems would resolve themselves, so he jerked me off all steroids. I saw an allergist who refused to test me for food allergies bc she said if I had 'real' allergies, I would have had them since I was a kid. I tried systemic injectable medications for a few months to suppress my immune system which I was told by my dermatologist would control the rashes/eczema. It didn't help. I ended up in the dermatology ward at the Mayo Clinic inpatient, wrapped from head to toe like a mummy. They refused to let me speak to an endocrinologist and told me the answer was to go back on steroids. I told them no and was released after 3 or 4 days. The mummy wrapping had helped the rashes/eczema and calmed my skin some what. I could not work during this time. I didn't work for about six months.
I decided to try TCM and acupuncture. I was in the middle of a divorce at this time from my husband of 7 years. Through TCM, acupuncture, baths with vinegar every day followed by wet pajamas, I was able to control the eczema somewhat. I was still breaking out in mystery rashes. During this time I lost the weight I had gained from Cushing's and went back to a normal weight for my height (I'm 5'8). I'm able to get a job again (summer of 2013). The main issue I was having was non-stop staph infections on my legs (gross, I know) which I was told were from having a compromised skin barrier. It was really scary, they just kept coming back. Finally my doctor put me on two different antibiotics for three months straight and they finally went away.
I would also like to say that during this time I was also in treatment for an eating disorder. I have had ed for my entire adult life and had decided to seek treatment in 2010 in hopes of living a more healthy life with more options and expanded boundaries. I had been gf/vegan/sugar free/soy free up until this point but had spent a lot of time in 2011/2012 introducing these foods back into my diet (a very painful process) but was happy to be able to shop easier, eat with friends, go to restaurants, etc. I had issues with weight roller costering for many years from using steroids to treat my hands. I would gain weight from steroids (always my #1 side effect) and then diet like crazy and lose a ton of weight. I got too small many times. I know that a healthy weight for me is in the 140-160 range. For exercise, I ran for many years but stopped running once I started treatment. I switched over to primarily yoga for movement. I also worked as a barista and was on my feet all day every day.
In 2013, my divorce was final and I moved out on my own for the first time in ten years. I had no money, savings, anything. No car. I lived in Minneapolis. I got an apartment on a bus route. I was happy to be free of my ex, though and looking forward to starting over. I convinced myself that the reason I was sick was bc I was so unhappy in my marriage and now I would truly heal.
That fall I had a lot of brain fog, inability to concentrate, exhaustion, fatigue, could never get enough sleep but I thought it was from going through a divorce (which it could have been). I am a writer and my creativity saw a huge dip, and became almost non-existant. I saw my OBGYN around then (this is still 2013) and she ran blood work on me. I was getting my vaccines updated at my OBGYN and one of the tech's for some reason, looked at my chart and said, "Oh, wow, you really need to keep an eye on your thyroid" and I said, "OK" and never thought about it again. I guess bc the doctor had not brought it up with me, I figured it wasn't a big deal. I had so much else on my plate, I didn't even know what thyroid problems were. Also, no one else, not my endocrinologist or any other doctors, had told me "hey, endocrine problems lead to other endocrine problems so get bloodworm done regularly!". I thought I was doing ok, I was just grieving my divorce and going through a big change.
Fast forward to early spring of 2014. I catch a cold at work. One of my dearest friends and biggest supporters dies a few days later. I never really get over this cold. I end up having to take a bunch of time off work. I also have a boyfriend now and cannot stop getting UTI's (I probably had 8-11 last year). My deal with my ex-husband was that I could stay on his insurance for a year after our divorce but he unceremoniously yanks me off his plan at this time. I try and get on insurance through the state of MN/ObamaCare but am lost in bureaucratic Kafka hell for almost nine months and have to pay for all emergency visits out of pockets. I make $10.50 at work, BTW. I can't really go to the doctor.
I start gaining weight again, kind of rapidly. Looking in the mirror, I think I look like I have steroid face again. This doesn't add up to me bc I only have about $60 a week for food and no car, I walk everywhere and do yoga almost every day. But I am trying to "accept" myself, as I have learned in ed treatment and am thinking, well, maybe my body is adjusting to a new set point for weight or that I have messed up my metabolism from many years of yo-yo weight loss. My skin is not doing great and I know I have to get into a new line of work where I do not aggravate the eczema on my hands so much as I do being a barista. I convince my mom to help me get a $5000 loan and I go to yoga teacher training school.
At teacher training, everyone around me is getting tight, hard bodies from doing yoga for three hours every day, but I am just getting bigger and bigger. In our class photo, I look like Godzilla compared to everyone else. I don't know what's going on. I am so exhausted, I fall asleep anywhere that I am. All I want to do is sleep. It's crazy, it's beyond any exhaustion I have ever felt. All I need to do is sit still for ten seconds and I am asleep. And of course my yoga teachers keep promising endless energy and health if I just keep my practice up and follow the vedic teachings. Yeah right! But I believed them! I'd been so screwed over by western medicine, why not believe I can't just headstand/mantra my way to a better body?
My boyfriend offers for me to move to Maryland with him, he is moving back in with his parents for awhile so he can save money and finish his book. He is also a writer. BTW: forget writing! I barely have the attention span anymore to read a blog post or watch 20 minutes of tv, much less sit down and write or read a book! I agree to go with him because I need the support. I am barely scraping by. I give away everything I have (not much) and go with him to Maryland with basically nothing. I have never been there before.
My boyfriend tells me that he thinks there is something wrong with me, that my Cushing's syndrome may have returned and he is worried about me. We agree my priority in Maryland is seeing doctors and getting bloodwork done. But thanks to another series of fuck ups, it takes the State of Maryland SIX MONTHS to get me health care. I get a job teaching yoga, I am barely hanging in there.
In the time it takes me from moving to MD to getting finally diagnosed with Hypothyroidism at the end of March (with a TSH of 25), my depression blossoms into a fucking hydra. I haven't had depression like this since I was 17. I've learned so many depression coping skills thanks to ed treatment but it's like I can't access them anymore. I have terrible brain fog, I feel like I can't follow conversations or remember names or make jokes anymore, I barely write. My depression and fatigue are so bad, I quit my yoga job. I don't have the juice anymore. I am out.
In addition to the thyroid testing, I also saw a dermatologist and an allergist. The dermatologist just wanted to give me steroids, I said no but they did agree to do patch testing. I am allergic to nickel and thuiram mix (an ingredient in rubber/latex). The allergist finds inconclusive results, my skin tests say I am allergic to milk but my blood tests do not. My blood tests say I am allergic to wheat but my skin tests do not. He suggests I do an elimination diet and eat no dairy or wheat.
Awesome! All this work I did to start eating dairy and wheat again and here I am, back on a diet, eating like a crazy person!
I was given 100mcg of levothyroxine in March. I have not had symptoms improve, although my latest labs came back "normal range" and I was told to schedule again in three months (I didn't, I scheduled six weeks out for more blood work). I weigh over 200lbs. I do 30 minutes of yoga in the morning first thing, 30 minutes of brisk walking at night, every day. I have cut out dairy, wheat, sugar. I have not lost even one pound in almost 12 weeks of doing all these things. I don't have a job. I am completely dependent on my boyfriend and his family. I am covered in rashes and eczema as my skin has gotten much worse in the last six months. It is almost as bad as it was pre-mayo clinic. I have also developed polymorphic light eruption syndrome, so when I go in the sun, I get covered in blisters/rashes. I have to stay out the sun, use zinc oxide when I go out, and stay completely covered. I already have no clothes because I have outgrown them all and now I cannot even enjoy the summer weather and wear shorts and go to the beach. I look crazy when I go outside. I am starting college again this summer as I don't know what else to do. I can't teach yoga anymore, I can't barista. I don't know what to do. I am supposed to go with my boyfriend to NYC in July but I don't know how I will enjoy it with frail, falling apart skin, covered from head to toe like a weird religious zealot.
I do not have support from my biological family.
I don't feel like a person anymore. I feel angry all the time. Like beyond angry. I don't know what there is to look forward to in my life. I read these hypothyroid groups and I got a book (The Thyroid Diet) and it just seems like so much other crazy stuff could happen or already is happening from my thyroid, there's all these supplements to take and this could work or that. I just feel like I'm going to freak out. I don't know what to do.
I feel like medicine has failed me and there are no answers and no hope. I feel like everything that is wrong with me is visible, all over my skin and my fat body. I sometimes get this feeling that none of the hypothyroid medicine will work for me.
I tried eastern and western medicine, I tried yoga, I tried therapy. I am sicker now than I have ever been. I have very little hope. I sometimes feel like hope is pointless, even because then you are just disappointed.
I feel that I have failed at my life. When I look back, all I can see is that every choice I made was a mistake. I feel afraid to do anything.
I have all this weight to lose, yet again.
I have to focus on dieting, which is a hilarious irony for someone with ed.
I feel like I am being punished. I saw a picture of myself yesterday and I am so overweight, I did not recognize myself.
I feel like I am being punished for being a bad person. I feel like a burden to my boyfriend and his family and everyone that has ever loved me. I feel like all I bring is pain and suffering to myself and anyone who loves me.
I think about killing myself all the time. I know how I would do it, I know what song I would want them to play at my funeral and which friends would have to be texted as opposed to emailed a suicide note bc they don't check their email. The only thing that stops me sometimes is thinking that suicide raises the risk of suicide in others so that my boyfriend and friends would be at risk and I don't want to hurt anyone else.
I feel like I am living a life that is my own biggest fear. Fat, sick, unemployed, hopeless and completely dependent on other people. One wrong move and I could easily be homeless.
I have tried so hard to believe that if I work on my ed, take good care of my body, get out of my shitty marriage, learn intuitive eating, do yoga that I will be well. But the opposite has happened. I don't know anyone else who has tried as hard as I have to get their life together only to fail so completely.
I think of where my friends and sister are at in their lives, kids, marriage, house, vacation, savings and I am starting 100% from scratch with out health.
I don't even know why I was born anymore and often wish I hadn't been. I enjoy being asleep the most out of my day bc that is when I do not have to be in my body.
I'm writing all this here because I am at the end of my rope and I know it and idk what else to do.
I am not self harming and I do not have a date picked out for killing myself or anything, it's more just persistent thoughts.
Thank you to anyone who has read this far down.
I am hypothyroid. I was diagnosed in March of this year. I am really struggling. I have been sick for three years.
In 2012, I began breaking out in huge allergic reactions all over my body along with eczema and no one knew why (never had allergy issues previously, I was 30). I had severe eczema on my hands for years but had been mostly successful in controlling it with steroid creams and light therapy. I was passed around to different doctors and was diagnosed with after awhile Cushing's Syndrome from oral steroid/injections over use. I was told by this endocrinologist that as soon as I went off steroids, all my problems would resolve themselves, so he jerked me off all steroids. I saw an allergist who refused to test me for food allergies bc she said if I had 'real' allergies, I would have had them since I was a kid. I tried systemic injectable medications for a few months to suppress my immune system which I was told by my dermatologist would control the rashes/eczema. It didn't help. I ended up in the dermatology ward at the Mayo Clinic inpatient, wrapped from head to toe like a mummy. They refused to let me speak to an endocrinologist and told me the answer was to go back on steroids. I told them no and was released after 3 or 4 days. The mummy wrapping had helped the rashes/eczema and calmed my skin some what. I could not work during this time. I didn't work for about six months.
I decided to try TCM and acupuncture. I was in the middle of a divorce at this time from my husband of 7 years. Through TCM, acupuncture, baths with vinegar every day followed by wet pajamas, I was able to control the eczema somewhat. I was still breaking out in mystery rashes. During this time I lost the weight I had gained from Cushing's and went back to a normal weight for my height (I'm 5'8). I'm able to get a job again (summer of 2013). The main issue I was having was non-stop staph infections on my legs (gross, I know) which I was told were from having a compromised skin barrier. It was really scary, they just kept coming back. Finally my doctor put me on two different antibiotics for three months straight and they finally went away.
I would also like to say that during this time I was also in treatment for an eating disorder. I have had ed for my entire adult life and had decided to seek treatment in 2010 in hopes of living a more healthy life with more options and expanded boundaries. I had been gf/vegan/sugar free/soy free up until this point but had spent a lot of time in 2011/2012 introducing these foods back into my diet (a very painful process) but was happy to be able to shop easier, eat with friends, go to restaurants, etc. I had issues with weight roller costering for many years from using steroids to treat my hands. I would gain weight from steroids (always my #1 side effect) and then diet like crazy and lose a ton of weight. I got too small many times. I know that a healthy weight for me is in the 140-160 range. For exercise, I ran for many years but stopped running once I started treatment. I switched over to primarily yoga for movement. I also worked as a barista and was on my feet all day every day.
In 2013, my divorce was final and I moved out on my own for the first time in ten years. I had no money, savings, anything. No car. I lived in Minneapolis. I got an apartment on a bus route. I was happy to be free of my ex, though and looking forward to starting over. I convinced myself that the reason I was sick was bc I was so unhappy in my marriage and now I would truly heal.
That fall I had a lot of brain fog, inability to concentrate, exhaustion, fatigue, could never get enough sleep but I thought it was from going through a divorce (which it could have been). I am a writer and my creativity saw a huge dip, and became almost non-existant. I saw my OBGYN around then (this is still 2013) and she ran blood work on me. I was getting my vaccines updated at my OBGYN and one of the tech's for some reason, looked at my chart and said, "Oh, wow, you really need to keep an eye on your thyroid" and I said, "OK" and never thought about it again. I guess bc the doctor had not brought it up with me, I figured it wasn't a big deal. I had so much else on my plate, I didn't even know what thyroid problems were. Also, no one else, not my endocrinologist or any other doctors, had told me "hey, endocrine problems lead to other endocrine problems so get bloodworm done regularly!". I thought I was doing ok, I was just grieving my divorce and going through a big change.
Fast forward to early spring of 2014. I catch a cold at work. One of my dearest friends and biggest supporters dies a few days later. I never really get over this cold. I end up having to take a bunch of time off work. I also have a boyfriend now and cannot stop getting UTI's (I probably had 8-11 last year). My deal with my ex-husband was that I could stay on his insurance for a year after our divorce but he unceremoniously yanks me off his plan at this time. I try and get on insurance through the state of MN/ObamaCare but am lost in bureaucratic Kafka hell for almost nine months and have to pay for all emergency visits out of pockets. I make $10.50 at work, BTW. I can't really go to the doctor.
I start gaining weight again, kind of rapidly. Looking in the mirror, I think I look like I have steroid face again. This doesn't add up to me bc I only have about $60 a week for food and no car, I walk everywhere and do yoga almost every day. But I am trying to "accept" myself, as I have learned in ed treatment and am thinking, well, maybe my body is adjusting to a new set point for weight or that I have messed up my metabolism from many years of yo-yo weight loss. My skin is not doing great and I know I have to get into a new line of work where I do not aggravate the eczema on my hands so much as I do being a barista. I convince my mom to help me get a $5000 loan and I go to yoga teacher training school.
At teacher training, everyone around me is getting tight, hard bodies from doing yoga for three hours every day, but I am just getting bigger and bigger. In our class photo, I look like Godzilla compared to everyone else. I don't know what's going on. I am so exhausted, I fall asleep anywhere that I am. All I want to do is sleep. It's crazy, it's beyond any exhaustion I have ever felt. All I need to do is sit still for ten seconds and I am asleep. And of course my yoga teachers keep promising endless energy and health if I just keep my practice up and follow the vedic teachings. Yeah right! But I believed them! I'd been so screwed over by western medicine, why not believe I can't just headstand/mantra my way to a better body?
My boyfriend offers for me to move to Maryland with him, he is moving back in with his parents for awhile so he can save money and finish his book. He is also a writer. BTW: forget writing! I barely have the attention span anymore to read a blog post or watch 20 minutes of tv, much less sit down and write or read a book! I agree to go with him because I need the support. I am barely scraping by. I give away everything I have (not much) and go with him to Maryland with basically nothing. I have never been there before.
My boyfriend tells me that he thinks there is something wrong with me, that my Cushing's syndrome may have returned and he is worried about me. We agree my priority in Maryland is seeing doctors and getting bloodwork done. But thanks to another series of fuck ups, it takes the State of Maryland SIX MONTHS to get me health care. I get a job teaching yoga, I am barely hanging in there.
In the time it takes me from moving to MD to getting finally diagnosed with Hypothyroidism at the end of March (with a TSH of 25), my depression blossoms into a fucking hydra. I haven't had depression like this since I was 17. I've learned so many depression coping skills thanks to ed treatment but it's like I can't access them anymore. I have terrible brain fog, I feel like I can't follow conversations or remember names or make jokes anymore, I barely write. My depression and fatigue are so bad, I quit my yoga job. I don't have the juice anymore. I am out.
In addition to the thyroid testing, I also saw a dermatologist and an allergist. The dermatologist just wanted to give me steroids, I said no but they did agree to do patch testing. I am allergic to nickel and thuiram mix (an ingredient in rubber/latex). The allergist finds inconclusive results, my skin tests say I am allergic to milk but my blood tests do not. My blood tests say I am allergic to wheat but my skin tests do not. He suggests I do an elimination diet and eat no dairy or wheat.
Awesome! All this work I did to start eating dairy and wheat again and here I am, back on a diet, eating like a crazy person!
I was given 100mcg of levothyroxine in March. I have not had symptoms improve, although my latest labs came back "normal range" and I was told to schedule again in three months (I didn't, I scheduled six weeks out for more blood work). I weigh over 200lbs. I do 30 minutes of yoga in the morning first thing, 30 minutes of brisk walking at night, every day. I have cut out dairy, wheat, sugar. I have not lost even one pound in almost 12 weeks of doing all these things. I don't have a job. I am completely dependent on my boyfriend and his family. I am covered in rashes and eczema as my skin has gotten much worse in the last six months. It is almost as bad as it was pre-mayo clinic. I have also developed polymorphic light eruption syndrome, so when I go in the sun, I get covered in blisters/rashes. I have to stay out the sun, use zinc oxide when I go out, and stay completely covered. I already have no clothes because I have outgrown them all and now I cannot even enjoy the summer weather and wear shorts and go to the beach. I look crazy when I go outside. I am starting college again this summer as I don't know what else to do. I can't teach yoga anymore, I can't barista. I don't know what to do. I am supposed to go with my boyfriend to NYC in July but I don't know how I will enjoy it with frail, falling apart skin, covered from head to toe like a weird religious zealot.
I do not have support from my biological family.
I don't feel like a person anymore. I feel angry all the time. Like beyond angry. I don't know what there is to look forward to in my life. I read these hypothyroid groups and I got a book (The Thyroid Diet) and it just seems like so much other crazy stuff could happen or already is happening from my thyroid, there's all these supplements to take and this could work or that. I just feel like I'm going to freak out. I don't know what to do.
I feel like medicine has failed me and there are no answers and no hope. I feel like everything that is wrong with me is visible, all over my skin and my fat body. I sometimes get this feeling that none of the hypothyroid medicine will work for me.
I tried eastern and western medicine, I tried yoga, I tried therapy. I am sicker now than I have ever been. I have very little hope. I sometimes feel like hope is pointless, even because then you are just disappointed.
I feel that I have failed at my life. When I look back, all I can see is that every choice I made was a mistake. I feel afraid to do anything.
I have all this weight to lose, yet again.
I have to focus on dieting, which is a hilarious irony for someone with ed.
I feel like I am being punished. I saw a picture of myself yesterday and I am so overweight, I did not recognize myself.
I feel like I am being punished for being a bad person. I feel like a burden to my boyfriend and his family and everyone that has ever loved me. I feel like all I bring is pain and suffering to myself and anyone who loves me.
I think about killing myself all the time. I know how I would do it, I know what song I would want them to play at my funeral and which friends would have to be texted as opposed to emailed a suicide note bc they don't check their email. The only thing that stops me sometimes is thinking that suicide raises the risk of suicide in others so that my boyfriend and friends would be at risk and I don't want to hurt anyone else.
I feel like I am living a life that is my own biggest fear. Fat, sick, unemployed, hopeless and completely dependent on other people. One wrong move and I could easily be homeless.
I have tried so hard to believe that if I work on my ed, take good care of my body, get out of my shitty marriage, learn intuitive eating, do yoga that I will be well. But the opposite has happened. I don't know anyone else who has tried as hard as I have to get their life together only to fail so completely.
I think of where my friends and sister are at in their lives, kids, marriage, house, vacation, savings and I am starting 100% from scratch with out health.
I don't even know why I was born anymore and often wish I hadn't been. I enjoy being asleep the most out of my day bc that is when I do not have to be in my body.
I'm writing all this here because I am at the end of my rope and I know it and idk what else to do.
I am not self harming and I do not have a date picked out for killing myself or anything, it's more just persistent thoughts.
Thank you to anyone who has read this far down.
First of all, just because your thyroid labs are showing that you're in the "normal range" DOES NOT necessarily mean they're where they need to be. My labs are in the "normal range" (though at the bottom) and I feel like a walking zombie. So when you get a chance, can you post your latest lab results for us to see? Some of the women in this forum are very knowledgeable about breaking down those results and explaining what they really mean. Based on the symptoms you're describing I'd be willing to bet you're still not at optimal levels.
Another thing I've read time and time again is that food sensitivities and Celiac seem to occur a lot more frequently in people with Hashimoto's so there may be a connection there.
If you are still hypothyroid, and it sounds like you are, you're probably going to struggle with weight gain and fatigue and depression until you can get your thyroid levels more optimized with proper medication. But the good news is you can optimize those levels, and things will start to turn around for you. This is not the end. This is not how it will always be. It can be fixed and you can start feeling better again. But it is going to be really important that you take charge of your medical care - that means you need to get copies of all of your lab work and find a doctor who really understands thyroid care and proper medication. Endocrinologists are ironically really bad at treating thyroid disorders.
Hang in there ok? Things are going to get better. And there is a lot of support in this forum, and a lot of people who totally get what you're going through. When you can, post your recent lab results so that we can better explain what's going on with you.
First of I'd say it is obvious to see you are a fighter, you should be extremely proud of yourself - girl I couldn't do any of the physical activity you manage to pull off even not hypo! And as difficult as it is you can't compare yourself to others. I used to do that after I had to move back in with my parents after getting ill, also separating from my husband, leaving my job etc but you aren't comparing apples with apples. These people are not dealing with what you are and I bet darn well they would be on their backs.
It is just so awful that at the very time we feel like hell we also have to somehow figure out how to fix ourselves with often no help from the medical establishment. I too tried all kinds of things to get myself better from a disease I did not know I had (and was actually told I didn't have). Long story short the only thing that helped was hormone replacement because you know I was short on thyroid hormones kinda figures huh!
I know it feels like you won't get better but you can and you will. When your thyroid is low nothing works properly including your immune system. There may be other stuff going on in regards to your skin problems (though I know thyroid can cause all kinds of nasty skin issues) but a working metabolism will help you no end and give you the energy and resources to fight other health challenges.
I'm in the UK so not au fait with your health system so I'm sure someone can advise on what you can do as next steps. What I found really helpful was to read as many of the old discussions on here that will help your knowledge no end. Get the labs that you will be told to get then we can walk you through what to do.
Hang on in there
This depression you speak of may require anti-depressants. If so, take them. Period.
And, I suspect it began with hypothyroidism. You went hypo like a rockstar with a TSH of 25. I'd be dead with a TSH like that. I'm so not kidding. Frankly, I'm not sure how you're still alive. But, you are...and that's a blessing you can't see right now, but once your disease is under control, you will be able to see it. It will seem like someone "flipped a switch" and suddenly, you'll feel better. Like you again.
Just so you know, here's the symptoms of hypothyroidism:
http://hypothyroidmom.com/300-hypothyroidism-symptoms-yes-really/
Much of what you've listed is in that list of hypothyroid symptoms. It's not uncommon for a US patient to see over 10 doctors before they get an accurate diagnosis, and I suspect you've been dealing with this since you were a kid. I saw over 50 doctors. I'm so not kidding. If I told you what I went through...frankly, you wouldn't believe me.
The bottom line is this: If you are feeling suicidal - go to the ER NOW. Don't wait. Depression is a killer. I know this from experience. If that's what you have to do in order to get help...then do it.
Here's some info you might find helpful when you're in a better frame of mind:
http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/thyroid-resources/discussions/messages/17753905
You're not crazy...but hypothyroidism can sure make one feel that way!
Here's more info:
http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/thyroid-resources/discussions/messages/17785295
http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/thyroid-resources/discussions/messages/17821477
http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/thyroid-resources/discussions/messages/18306597
http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/thyroid-resources/discussions/messages/17745655
http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/thyroid-resources/discussions/messages/17754329
And there's a way out with a plan:
http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/thyroid-resources/discussions/messages/17754063
However, depression can end a life before you get to work "the plan", so take care of that first. Depression like that can kill. Don't mess around with it...get to a doctor and don't hold back.
Thank you all so much for your responses. I honestly felt a bit better yesterday just after typing out my entire sickness "story". I don't think I have ever got it out before like that.
To jessmm, I did post my labs a few weeks ago and MButterfly took a look at them and gave me some thoughts on where to head. She said my free T4 is at 27% and I should talk to my doc about increasing my levothyroxine by 25mcg. Here's the link:
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Hypothyroidism/advice/20491427-hypo-newbie-i-am-so
If anyone else has thoughts, please let me know.
Before I got the hypo diagnosis in March, I had started to see a therapist at a local eating disorder place bc, basically, I thought I was losing my mind and had suicidal thoughts all the time and couldn't get my head above water. After I was diagnosed with hypo, she told me she didn't think there was a point in my coming to therapy anymore since I was "recovered" from my ed and just needed to wait until my hypo meds kicked in to feel better. I felt very dismissed and unsupported. I'm going to see what happens with this next round of bloodwork but if I am still having a lot of suicidal thoughts, I will find another therapist.
My boyfriend knows that I have suicidal thoughts and I have been trying to remember to reach out to friends about this. I even copy pasted what I wrote yesterday and sent it to one friend.
I start school on Tuesday so we'll see how that goes as well. At least I will be getting out of the house.
How long did it take the people in this thread to notice some thyroid improvement, if you don't mind me asking?
I'm trying to read what I can about hypothyroidism without feeling like I'm going crazy. Medical type info, numbers, things like that have always been hard for me to read easily. I am trying to process it.
It's really nice that this support group is here. It means a lot to me to be heard by you guys. Thank you again.
Well, it takes about four-six weeks for synthroid (levothyroxine) to get into your system. But, rarely on the first dosage do we hit the optimal lottery, so you'll require a few increases before you really start to feel well.
Waiting, it seems, really is the hardest part.
I know I threw alot at you, but here's the thing to remember: DARK DEPRESSION and feeling crazy (including and up to hallucinations) can be caused by hypothyroidism. It's often overlooked as a cause for depression. But, it's also not uncommon to need an anti-depressant to get over some of that depression.
Do what is right for you. If I were at your levels....I'd feel like someone ripped my soul right out of my body. It's also not uncommon to have dyslexia type issues and reading/comprehension disabilities with hypothyroidism.
Luckily, with optimal treatment all these things can be remedied, but getting there takes time.
Hang in there.