Aw man, do I *ever* know how you feel. I've felt like that so many times. I get so frustrated I want to say, "To heck with all this thyroid crap. I've had it!!!"

But, life doesn't work like that with thyroid disease. Thyroid disease is serious and can be life threatening. It's alot like diabetes in that sense. You can't "not" take insulin and expect to live or be healthy. Finding the right dosage of insulin is sometimes easier...and you usually get a long learning session with insulin disorders. Some are as long as an hour consultation with follow up teaching sessions at the hospital.

With thyroid disease all you get is: Take this and come back in X weeks.

Nobody tells you that you may get some symptoms that are new or worsening before you get better (levels are optimized). Nobody tells you how your thyroid impacts your life or that it can wreck it...or take your life.

Hang in there hon, it WILL get better, but only if you don't give up.

I just feel like rolling into a ball and dying.

Oy Vey, I HAVE been there. You feel like you are dying...or like you would be better off. But, this will pass. I promise.
I didn't believe it ever would, but it *is* temporary.
I know you feel horrible....I could tell your horror stories....but you have to hang in there.

HUGS

Don't stop the medication as you will only get worse. There are some serious things that can happen without the thyroid meds. I understand how horrible you must be feeling but keep searching until you get results. Hang on and take the meds. Your levels were really hypo so it will take some time for the higher dose to do its job. Don't give up. Come here and vent and talk with your PCP. Hoping you will be feeling much better very soon.

I remember a time during the meds titration process that I thought everyone else would be better off if I was dead.

Yes, it's tough but, life without much-needed thyroid hormone won't be a life - in fact, people die from not having enough thyroid hormone.

It's the gas that fuels our bodies.

As we suggested on another thread, take some Xanax during the tough times. If you don't have a Rx, I suggest you ask your doctor for one.

As someone who made it "to the other side" ....achieved and has maintained optimal levels.....it's worth it.

Hang in.