Hello, I am a 30 year old female, been suffering from health anxiety since my son was born 3 years ago, and it has been getting progessively worse this year.  To give an example of how bad it has been in 2016, we met our out-of-pocket for insurance back in October just from my constant ER, urgent care, and specialist visits for my peace of mind, so I could be reassured I don't have cancer.  I just don't know how to cope with these irrational, constant fears of dying, leaving my son without a mother.  Every single ache or pain I get is immediately cancer in my mind.  I have had 2 head MRIs (due to headaches and headache changes that I thought were brain tumors), MRA (due to pulsating in my ear that I thought was an aneyurism), endoscopy, colonoscopy, HIDA scan, chest x-ray, breast ultrasound, 2 abdominal ultrasounds, abdominal MRI, abdomninal/pelvic CT scan (all due to vague and traveling abdominal/side/chest pain), and most recently an x-ray of my arm (thought/still think I have bone cancer due to pain in my arm).  None of these tests have found ANYTHING except slight irritation in my stomach and cysts on my liver which they swear are benign but I am terrified that they are cancer.  I am constantly second guessing doctors and thinking they missed something.  Last night at the urgent care it was the OLDEST x-ray machine I have ever seen that they used for my arm and I am now thinking two things about that:  such an old piece of equipment probably can miss something small on the bone, and I'm sure it gave me cancer from the radation because it's not calibrated properly or whatever due to it being so old.  Oh, and once I found out how much radiation I got from the CT Scan in the ER (trust me, I called them and demanded a report), I wanted to kick myself for getting that scan because now I am at an increased risk for cancer, my worst nightmare.  Feeling so stupid for allowing it to happen, to give myself a higher chance of getting the thing that I am over here trying to prevent.  I AM SO MESSED UP!  Typing all of this out, and talking to people about it, I know it's nuts.  I know the constant googling is making me worse, that it's a horrible habit, that i SHOULD stop, but I can't.  I feel like if I stop worrying, that something bad is still growing inside of me and if I'm not being proactive about it that it's going to be missed and I'm going to have cancer diagnosed at stage 4 rather than stage 1 because I ignored the early symptoms.  It's so terrible.  As soon as I get a test that reassures me I don't have a certain condition, the symptoms that led me to that test in the first place sometimes go away, at least temporarily, but then new ones begin or the old ones return and start the cycle all over again.  I do this with my son too, but not as bad (he had a head MRI due to some random vomiting I swore was a brain tumor, and has had a lot of bloodwork because I always think he has leukemia), because seeing him get blood drawn or IV inserted for sedation and the pain/fear it causes him is too much and that's where I really have to draw the line.  I just need someone to talk to -- I have yet another counselor appointment scheduled in January (I have seen many and never feel like I "click" with them, so I stop going), and I started Lexapro today after a visit to an urgent care and a very nice doctor who immediately recognized my anxiety and thought this might be a good option.  I have taken Xanax twice and probably should more but I'm terrified of becoming addicted to it.