Welcome to the group! Boy, can I relate! I just spent the last three months in the hell that you were describing and all because I was on vacation in Disney World and got sick. I overreacted and scared myself, and I just kept feeding the fear. I had a few tests done and after they came back "normal" I just decided I wasn't going to let fear rule my life. Easier said than done. I have to work on it, one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. It's not fun, I know. But half the battle is the realization that you do this to yourself and that it really isn't a physical illness.

I agree with everything you have said. In a way, it is almost amazing how much fear stomps the crap right out of any rational, logical thinking. Now if I could just get that rational thinking to stomp the crap out of my fear I'd be golden. God knows I try. I often become down right angry at myself about it all. Fear and anger are surely a recipe for disaster.

I totally understand where you are, I have been living this hell for so many years. I feel frustrated with myself, embarrassed but mostly just scared all the time that I am dying. I hate the fact that this means I am not making the most of my life, enjoying the good moments, because it is always tainted by this fear. And I get sick of talking about it, sick of myself but the thoughts are always there. I had some counselling for a while and made it a personal rule not to google any more but I find myself doing it again. And I know that it is likely my anxiety that is causing the health symptoms I am having but I can never dismiss the fear that it is cancer. I have lost close loved ones to cancer and so this makes it harder and my brother in law is going through it right now. I just don't know what to do and how to get past this so I can just enjoy life. Thanks for listening and I know you understand, at least getting to talk about it with each other makes you feel less alone.

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I understand 100%! I go back and forth about every 6 months. I finally feel like I get a handle on my anxiety and then I get a pain or a bump or a mile or SOMETHING and poof I have some sort of cancer. I am TERRIFIED of actually going to a doctor in case they were to actually find something -- although part of me thinks I could handle a legit diagnosis better than this constant worrying. I also lost my father to cancer - and it was a cancer doctors called very treatable - and he was gone within 13 months. I am scared to death about dying and leaving my kids so heartbroken. Anyone else feel similar? I'm new and could use any advice!

First time posting here. I have no clear words of advice other than to let you know that you are not alone. I sought out this site to hopefully get some comfort knowing that I'm not alone either. I've been dealing with similar issues for at least 16 years. I have a successfull career and most people I know view me as a calm person and that nothing bothers me. In reality I am in a mess inside when it comes to health fears. I often suffer in silence which I have found makes things worse. It comes and goes and is usually triggered by some pain or symptom that my mind then turns into something much worse by exacerbating the symptoms and which usually sends me into this spiral of fear, depression, and multiple Doctor visits and test to get reassurance. Lately even that reassurance isn't enough. I'm currently going through the spiral now which is completely ruining the holidays. I worry now that I am worrying my life away and envy those that seem so happy and blissful. I am currently reaching out for help from a therapist and would love to hear about others that have found benefit from therapy or meds.

It is so great to read all these stories, I have felt the same as everyone on this page. It is the worst disease for sure. I have diagnosed myself with every illness out there and I have not ever had an illness, not one real one in 20 years of this. I agree that it feels like a total waste of a life. So many occassions, have been ruined by thinking I am dying. So many times I have considered my funeral, the possibility of dying from a disease I dont have. However we just have to keep positive. I am always wrong about things. I have an anxiety now that I have cancer, I actually this time have found a lump in my back, the doctor says its a fatty lumb but I am convinced it might have spread and its in my spine and bones. However part of me knows this is probably not true and to just accept the diagnoses that its fat. It has ruined christmas to a degree because in between the good times I share with my family, this thought that I have wont go away. However I remind myself again that I am almost certainly wrong and this does help. I know that while i suffer from this, I am much better than I used to be. There used to be a time when I couldnt go a week without anything wrong, now its been a year since I last had an attack of thinking I was dying. Its good to hear other people struggle similarly. Everytime I think I have an illness now and I turn out not to have it, I always donate money to that particularly charity, because then in some way I think something positive comes from the situation, I am at least helping fund treatment or something for people that have something to need treating. Hope everyone feels better in the new year. I am hoping I dont have cancer and can enjoy a good year without anxities.

I desperately need someone to talk to. I constantly feel like I have some kind of cancer. I always feel like I have lumps in my breast and I have a really hard time feeling them in fear of actually finding something. I am always worried about my lymphnodes. Last week I was convinced I had thyroid cancer, swollen lymph nodes and breast cancer. What a terrible way to live. I wish I could make it all stop. I'm scared to take medicine because I'm scared it will give me a brain tumor. I need a friend. My husband doesn't understand

I am so comforted to know that others experience the same shit thoughts as I do. I have been doing really good these last few months. Sure, I have had those "omfg I have cancer thoughts" and I have been successful squashing them. My therapist gave me this workbook to review called the anxiety and phobia workbook sixth edition by Edmund Bourne PhD. I have been in therapy for about 9 years and in the span of couple months this book has taught me more about myself and thoughts and what the hell to do about it then the therapy. What has turned me around is learning about the higher-order psychological needs and how even if one is not met, it can spell disaster in the form of ongoing anxiety and phobias. It's like the light bulb went off and got real frigging bright real quick. It makes total sense. I have learned to have a relationship with my inner child. OK, I know that sounds completely assanine and immature,...well downright stupid really but once I realized what I was missing I went gung-ho to fix it and holy shit! I feel better now then ever! We are not talking about sucking our thumb and crying for mommy here but rather letting go of what others think and taking care of ourselves. Doing fun, self-nurturing, relaxing things and here's the kicker, not feeling guilty about it. I am becoming me and it feels great. It is humanly impossible to feel two emotions simultaneously. I have learned to trump the scaring shit health anxiety with humor, fun and yes, even the elusive relaxation. Don't get me wrong it's not all rainbows and rose petals. Like I said before, I do still get those thoughts but now it doesn't go on for a what feels like millenia even though I have lived in pain almost everyday for the last 10 months due to torn rib cartilage that no one until recently could figure out. It is possible to beat this shit and do it without family support. Its tough but not impossible. In the grand scheme of things, we only have ourselves to truly rely on. Our families and friends can not fix us, only we can do that. In closing, I am an awesome business professional, an awesome mother and now I live my life for me. I still take care of work and my family but I also do whatever I want, when I want and how I want. It may sound selfish but at least I am finally living. My daughter told me along time ago that people look at shit the wrong way. I asked her what she meant and she said it's not that we live only once, it's that we die only once. I get it now.