Hypochondria Support Group
Hypochondria refers to excessive worry about having a serious illness. Hypochondria is often characterized by fears that minor bodily symptoms may indicate a serious illness, constant self-examination and self-diagnosis, and a preoccupation with one's body. Many individuals with hypochondriasis express doubt and disbelief in the doctors' diagnosis.
Hello fellow hypochondriacs - I’m new here, but not new to health anxiety.
I am a 28 year old female wife and mother of two. I have a 30 BMI, so not obese but overweight. I am active at least a few times a week. I don’t drink soda or sugary drinks. I have an extremely busy lifestyle with my kids. I have no known health problems or conditions. I have never broken a bone or stayed in the hospital other then when I had my kids.
I have had anxiety for as long as I can remember. When I was little it used to be the fear of tornadoes. If it was thunder storming I was convinced a tornado would come and rip up my home and kill my family. Intense, huh? Well that was just the beginning.
It seemed my anxiety had gone away through jr high, high school, and early adulthood. I got married had my kids and one day this October it all came crashing down.
I had a bad tooth that needed to be extracted. I was convinced I was going to get an infection from this tooth and it was going to spread through my body, to my blood, to my brain and I was going to die from septic shock. I finally had the tooth extracted and Surprise! I loved through it all without getting sepsis. Sadly, now I have another tooth that needs to be surgically removed that I’ve had for awhile. Not having the money for the work I am in constant fear of the same thing.
There is no abcess to speak of - the dentist said she could see it draining on its own so she wasn’t concerned about it but it still needs to be extracted. So, I have pain in my jaw, in my ear, in my temple, and I “feel” a lump in my throat all on the same side of this bad tooth. However my tooth itself doesn’t hurt. I don’t know whether these symptoms are symptoms of the infection spreading or maybe TMJ. I have noticed that my anxiety has made me clench my jaw all the time. I’m sure it also happens when I sleep. So TMJ is plausible but to my brain that’s too easy an answer. It’s definently an infection spreading.
The reasons “feel” are in quotation marks is because I can feel a lump on the outside of my skin but I can swallow fine so there is nothing inside causing this. I’ve taken pictures of my neck and can’t really see anything, and I’ve had my husband feel for it many times and he says there is nothing there. So, I’m stuck with this lump that may or may not be real. I’d go to the dr I’m not paying a $25 co-pay for him to tell me it’s all in my head.
I had blood work done in mid February everything came back great except my HDL was at 35 and the maximum was supposed to be 30. Dr wasn’t concerned but I had to google it myself and it was something to do with the liver putting out too much of something (like an enzyme or some crap) usually due to liver damage. I put two and two together and decided this was my body starting to shut down from the sepsis. Intense? I know.
Since about January I haven’t been able to eat alot, I cannot eat the foods I used to love, I skip meals. My stomach is in a constant state of distress. I feel nauseous and bloated daily. Everything except for bland foods make my stomach sour and upset. I don’t know whether these symptoms are caused by anxiety or something is really wrong.
I don’t want to go the doctor because I feel like they will brush me off, also those co-pays add up. I’m seeing a therapist but sometimes I feel like it doesn’t help. I guess I’m expecting a quick cure all that just isn’t happening fast enough. I am constantly in fear and worry mode. I feel exhausted and tired so much. I know my husband gets upset about it.
I guess the root of all this is I don’t want to miss my kids growing up and I don’t want them to be sad if I die. Although I know I have zero control over when I die or how my kids will handle it I feel like if I worry and catch a disease or illness ahead of time the more likely I can do something about it before it is fatal.
I am a believer but obviously not a very faithful one or else I’d have the faith that He has this under control.
Sorry for the long post, had alot to get off my chest. Hope you all are well, or as well as someone with our issues can be.
I wonder how much is just anxiety and leaping to worst case scenario all the time.
I really want to tell you to hold onto faith and take some deep breaths! Wanna tell myself too!
This is such a hard struggle.
I am now to the point where I am feeling a little bit better.
My fears do not consume 90% of my day - more like 30% now.
I think because it is getting warmer and flu season is over.
I am trying to go back to school to finish my bachelor's degree, so my mind is being occupied.
However, I still feel the lump on my neck that has to be cancer, the pain in my breasts that also has to be cancer.
What I always do when I feel these thought coming on and I feel the rollercoaster of anxiety beginning I grab my phone to google (of course) but I found this quote that I have since made my screen saver. Now, when I reach for my phone, in big bold letters is the quote:
"Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn't change anything. It messes with your mind and steals your happiness."
It's a 50/50 chance of calming me down. Sometimes my brain looks at it and completely disregards it, "Nope! This time it's real and I need to catch it." But the other times, it makes me pause..catch my breath..."Ok - so say it is cancer. What am I going to do about it right now? I can't have surgery on myself. I can't check myself into a hospital and order tests and labs. *Breath* All is well and even if it's not, I am here right now. I am breathing."
And trust me it is soooo hard. It is so hard to not go off the deep end. But it is slowly - and I mean slowly getting slightly better.
Sending you all so much love. We are not alone in this ladies.