Hypochondria Support Group
Hypochondria refers to excessive worry about having a serious illness. Hypochondria is often characterized by fears that minor bodily symptoms may indicate a serious illness, constant self-examination and self-diagnosis, and a preoccupation with one's body. Many individuals with hypochondriasis express doubt and disbelief in the doctors' diagnosis.
Hey all. This is my first time on an internet support forum.
Just some background: my had a few sexual experiences with other males recently, but have ALWAYS been protected during sex. I felt this same anxiety about a week ago and got a rapid HIV test--it came back negative. I haven't had any sexual experiences after that. Three days ago I had a sore throat. The next day I went to an urgent care because my anxiety was through the roof because I was convincing myself that this was an onset of HIV. The doctor said that it was an upper respiratory infection most likely caused by seasonal allergies. I bought some Zyrtec and went on with my life. I've been progressively feeling better until today. I don't feel nearly as sick as I did yesterday, but I noticed a few red bumps and one red patch on my chest (I have a pretty hairy chest) and I freaked out. I immediately associated that with HIV skin rash lesions. I popped 2 of them and pus came out so I ended up dismissing them as acne. However, after drinking some coffee (which doesn't help anxiety at all), I noticed a white coating with scattered red spots on my tongue. Once again, I flipped out, nearly having a full-blown panic attack. I went to the internet, just like any other minor symptom I felt and everything pointing to oral thrush and how it's most common with those affected by HIV. I have successfully convinced myself that my test was a false negative. Ever since, I have been consistently feeling my forehead for a fever, it's warm and I don't have a thermometer. Also, I have been consistently checking my lymph nodes in my neck and groin. I don't know if they are swollen or not so that has me worried.
In short, this general anxiety and obsession with self-checks has been going on for weeks and I just cannot shake these thoughts or actions. I feel as though I am at a total loss and that accepting the fact that I have HIV is going to happen. I'm so scared and I plan on getting another test done. Please tell me someone is going through a similar experience with me.
Thanks,
John
Just some background: my had a few sexual experiences with other males recently, but have ALWAYS been protected during sex. I felt this same anxiety about a week ago and got a rapid HIV test--it came back negative. I haven't had any sexual experiences after that. Three days ago I had a sore throat. The next day I went to an urgent care because my anxiety was through the roof because I was convincing myself that this was an onset of HIV. The doctor said that it was an upper respiratory infection most likely caused by seasonal allergies. I bought some Zyrtec and went on with my life. I've been progressively feeling better until today. I don't feel nearly as sick as I did yesterday, but I noticed a few red bumps and one red patch on my chest (I have a pretty hairy chest) and I freaked out. I immediately associated that with HIV skin rash lesions. I popped 2 of them and pus came out so I ended up dismissing them as acne. However, after drinking some coffee (which doesn't help anxiety at all), I noticed a white coating with scattered red spots on my tongue. Once again, I flipped out, nearly having a full-blown panic attack. I went to the internet, just like any other minor symptom I felt and everything pointing to oral thrush and how it's most common with those affected by HIV. I have successfully convinced myself that my test was a false negative. Ever since, I have been consistently feeling my forehead for a fever, it's warm and I don't have a thermometer. Also, I have been consistently checking my lymph nodes in my neck and groin. I don't know if they are swollen or not so that has me worried.
In short, this general anxiety and obsession with self-checks has been going on for weeks and I just cannot shake these thoughts or actions. I feel as though I am at a total loss and that accepting the fact that I have HIV is going to happen. I'm so scared and I plan on getting another test done. Please tell me someone is going through a similar experience with me.
Thanks,
John
You are not alone, I am going through this right now. I've actually been making myself crazy for over a year thinking that I definitely get HIV with every encounter I have. My doctor thinks that I have nothing to worry about, but I assume you know that really doesn't make you feel any better when everything your body does freaks you out. It's great to know I'm not alone in this.
-A
Worrying is normal but actually unlikely that you would have HIV. Learn from the stress and be extra cautious. Casual sex might be fun but the stress is too much!
It's nice to read this actually...I've been worried to the point that I make myself sick about this. I once stole a hiv test from the store to make sure that I was ok. I still don't believe it. Every ache every pain is hiv. Every symptom hiv. I felt so alone until I read this. It's been 5 years I've been battling these thoughts. You're not alone.
Emily
If you were protected during sex, you will not get HIV. Please don't worry.
- Talk about your fears to your health provider. If they are unsympathetic find another one who is!
- Get your test results in writing if you can (they don't always do this in UK) as I find them helpful to have written down
- Visualise the worst case scenario and how you'll react/deal with it. Be inspired by somebody you know who really has been seriously ill and dealt with it OK. They can be a source of strength.
- No matter how impossible it seems, set some goals and achievements i.e. try to carry on with jobs, college and interests.
- Stay away from Dr Google until you have a confirmed diagnosis.
Far from being cowards or freaks I think those of us who battle with health anxiety - especially when it involves undergoing worrying tests - are very brave. We confront our mortality and darkest fears. But its so horrible to go through. I hope this helps.