Hi, I hear you! I’m really struggling right now too I’ll msg you hang in there

I am dealing with this as well and needing the same support.... I feel like i dont know what to do and i am just disgusted... This is such a hard feeling to get rid of...

I have had GW for a few years now myself, I am 45, suffering very serious depression and anxiety, single father of one. So scared to face reality and go see the doctor due to feeling very worthless, constantly beating myself up with self-talk and feeling as though I hate myself for letting this happen. I really don't know what to do or who to turn to, stress level is very high, feeling as though I can't breathe at times...definitely having severe anxiety attacks I believe. I went to see a mental health behavior counselor and a RN but I just couldn't open up about it! I am very scared of what will become of my life with everything weighting me down. I just joined this site hoping to get some insight and hopefully sense of direction. Everyday it is though I feel my whole life is a big fat lie and I really hate myself to the core!

I’m recovering from a LEEP procedure. Happy to offer support!

IttsOkNotToRun, I've already had a colposcopy and an abnormal pap. wondering when they decide to do the leep (which scares the hell out of me). my doctor said this wasn't on the table now but i wonder if it will be...

In the end of 2016 I started to notice I was having abnormal bleeding in between periods and every time I had sex so i went to the ER and they gave me an exam and blood test (I had no tumors or cancerous blood and no infection of the blood and all my levels were normal all except my allergy count was a little high from my seasonal allergies) I was sent home and told to follow up with an OBGYN, so i did about a week later, he did a pap and It came back*- I was diagnosed with HPV HGSIL (High Grade 16, 18, 31 & 45) Next step was a Colposcopy w/Biopsy- I was and still am terrified of having the Biopsy and just the thought of having a LEEP procedure done (which i know will come after the biopsy because of the results from my pap) So, After a bunch of reading and reading and watching videos and testimonials and research on vitamins, oils and supplements, diets and Cervical Cancer Natural Treatments and Cures... I came up with a hopefully fool proof way to hopefully by the grace of God get rid and/or treat this Virus// First of all I changed my diet over night, DRASTICALLY AND DRAMATICALLY!! No Meat except fish, Green and Colorful Veggies Raw and cooked. Low sugar, Low Salt (I use Sea Salt if i have a taste for some salt) Water Water Water. My morning consist of Taking this on an empty stomach- 2 chopped raw Garlic Cloves- Vitamins- A, B12, Super B Complex, C, Folic Acid, Turmeric Root Powder Capsules (twice daily) and a Women's One a Day Multivitamin. I boil filtered water and drop some Green Tea bags in there along with a 1/4th cup of Raw Organic Apple Cider Vinegar, 1 tablespoon Organic Gluten Free Honey and Juice 1/2 a lemon. I just ordered some AHCC and Beta Glucan which i will also take once i get them! I wait 30 min and have 1 cup Plain Organic Gluten Free Yogurt with Frozen organic berries and Granola with Almonds and Raisins. But, If i feel like a warm breakfast still after that i cut up some small potatoes season them with sea salt, ground black pepper, turmeric, and garlic, Ill fry them in a little coconut oil and top them with Roasted Kale chips. I'll usually have another cup of green tea between breakfast and lunch with some water to hold me over until Lunch. For lunch i'll either have Leftovers from the night before which last night it was a Veggie Stir-fry Mmmmm. Cut up Brussels Sprouts, Asparagus, Onions, Tomatoes, Garlic, Kale and season with Turmeric, paprika, cayenne pepper and just a small amount of Honey and sea salt. Tonight I will make Cooked Carrots with Organic Honey, Garlic, Kale and Beets. Ill either have a cup of OJ, with water or Green Tea again with water and i'll add another 1/4th cup Apple Cider Vinegar- So basically Lots water, Greens, colorful Veggies and Berries. Very low sugar/salt and wheat, and acidic content. High Fiber, Antioxidant and Vitamin A, B, C, D (careful not to OD on these) Do your homework please.. (skim milk or almond mild if any at all) Absolutely no Beef, Pork, Chicken or Turkey. Only meat like substance i am eating is Fish (baked or sauteed in Refined Coconut Oil and seasoning mentioned already above (Fish Oil is good for your Hoo Ha lol) Here is what i'm doing for a Topical Treatment for my cervix which i imagine as a Healthy Pink Dragon Fruit LOL--I made some DYI vaginal suppositories, i did these a couple different ways, I came up with a couple different kinds- You can switch it up from time to time so you don't build up immunity.. In a tall glass Add-1 cup Coconut oil- 10 drops Vitamin A oil (10 drops for each essential oil you're adding) (i poke a hole in my capsules and use that or order on Amazon) Put glass in water in a pot on stove on low (make sure no water gets inside the glass with oil mixture) Once your mixture is liquefied, (do not boil) Drop in halves of garlic and 1-2 Capsule Turmeric powder. I just ordered Poke Root and Tea Tree Essential oils and once i get them i will add these in as well, Stir until ingredients until powder is mixed in well and you only see a little settled on bottom of container, Strain into another glass and stir for a couple minutes, i use 2 small glasses for this. Using a small ice tray, pour about 2 tablespoons in each mold, put tray in a plastic bag to cover and put in freezer for 1-2 hours. Take them and store them in airtight container and store in fridge (i use a mason jar) Insert one before bed, it's good to put a pillow under your bum and use a panty liner for the first 30 min to ensure the mixture reaches your cervix, in the morning-- Cleanse Cleanse Cleanse your Vagina!! I sprinkle 1/2 a box of unopened baking soda into a dry bathtub, i sit on top of it and pour Organic, 2/3 gallon Raw Apple Cider Vinegar with Mother in bath, this will bubble up as soon as the two combine, after the bubbling stops- fill bath with warm water, invest in a reusable douche bottle, douche with the bathwater a few times while you soak for 20-30 minutes. I like to play relaxing music while i do this. The last thing i try to do everyday is walk for at least 30 min, if you have a gym, use it and stay active as much as you can. I'll come back with an update after i do this for 3 months and go get another pap and hopefully i will have better results from my Obgyn. This is also good lifestyle changes for men too, This is just what makes me feel better, i am in no way a Dr or giving any medical advice. Happy Trails!!

I just had the LEEP a few days ago and will find out if they got all the abnormal cells soon. I know how you feel because I will get another PAP test in 4 months to see if the HPV is active again. I am scared to have sex with my spouse even though it probably doesn't matter because my doctor says if I have the scary HPV, my husband does too. There is a very small chance my husband could get cancer one day from scary HPV. What I don't know is this: If my spouse has active scary HPV and mine is dormant, can my spouse make my HPV active again? I think the answer is no...that only I can reactivate my HPV through stress, depression, poor diet etc. I know how you feel though because I was just diagnosed several weeks ago.

hi windandsky, i don't believe you can re-infect one another with hpv; my doctor answered this question for me. how was the leep procedure? i am scared of getting that done (so far my doctor said it is not needed).

It can be so overwhelming. My boyfriend and I got into an argument and officially broke up in the heat of the moment. He was pissed off so he decided to have sex with his son's high school teacher. He had sex with her 3 times. We later got back together and I ended up with HPV. I did the watchful wait year and it seemed trivialized - no big deal it should be gone by next year's test. Well, it was NOT gone. I tested positive for HPV again at the end of year 1. I had a colposcopy which came back CIN 2 (moderate amount of abnormal cells) and now I have to have a LEEP in June. Plus, I have a $6,300 deductible so I have to pay for all of these expensive medical bills. I feel emotionally, physically, and financially attacked. It really upsets me when people blow it off as no big deal. It IS a big deal so when people trivialize it and minimize it I want to explode with frustration and anger! I feel contaminated too. I know I cant get the same strain of HPV again but there are so many strains, the next guy I have sex with could re-infect me and I NEVER want to go through this again so it makes me stay with my current boyfriend even though I have soooo much resentment for him giving this to me.

hi abcdefg123. The LEEP made me sore the first 2 days but then I felt pretty good until day 4 when I took the stairs and maybe the scab fell off because I was really sore after that. The actual procedure in the office wasn't painful at all except for when they shoved the equipment up inside of me. I didn't feel them slicing the cervix. I was awake with a local anesthetic plus took a Xanax for anxiety.
hi SEV. I'm sorry that you resent your boyfriend. I keep asking myself who did this to me? Was it the boyfriend that I first french-kissed? Was it the guy who might have had sex with another guy? Was is the guy who I found out was doing drugs? I don't know who to blame. I feel like God hates me and keep reminding myself that he loves me even though I have this infection. I hope your boyfriend will see the need to pay ALL your medical bills.