HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group
We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...
We all need messages of hope and truth. My dude and I are taking a 2 week break from all communication. ( 12 more days to go.) Its hard because I miss him incredibly. We broke up January 16. I didn't anticipate the pain that I felt. I didn't anticipate that I would discover how much I truly love this man. My heart had to break in order for it to open up.
Following our break up, he would text me. It hurt. He maintained that he loved me and missed me but didn't want to be with me. I asked many for advice and finally got some good advice from a counselor. Most people advised, "move on." Well, I wasn't ready. The heart and mind are 2 very different things and I think love may be more powerful. The counselor advised "take a 2 week break from all communication and then ask yourself "Do I still miss this person? If you both do, then you can come back together. If not, then you can both move on."
A couple of nights ago, he sent me a text and a picture of his dinner with candles and the text "Candlelight dinner for one. I want you to know that I'm not running around looking for a new woman."
I made the proposal to him about 2 weeks and asked if he would agree to this. He replied "yes". And then followed "It won't be easy. I've already got it on my calendar!" So far, all communication HAS stopped. I write him letters every day. I have hope for us. I also have the fear that after 2 weeks, he will say "nope, I don't miss you". But, I have hope.
Following our break up, he would text me. It hurt. He maintained that he loved me and missed me but didn't want to be with me. I asked many for advice and finally got some good advice from a counselor. Most people advised, "move on." Well, I wasn't ready. The heart and mind are 2 very different things and I think love may be more powerful. The counselor advised "take a 2 week break from all communication and then ask yourself "Do I still miss this person? If you both do, then you can come back together. If not, then you can both move on."
A couple of nights ago, he sent me a text and a picture of his dinner with candles and the text "Candlelight dinner for one. I want you to know that I'm not running around looking for a new woman."
I made the proposal to him about 2 weeks and asked if he would agree to this. He replied "yes". And then followed "It won't be easy. I've already got it on my calendar!" So far, all communication HAS stopped. I write him letters every day. I have hope for us. I also have the fear that after 2 weeks, he will say "nope, I don't miss you". But, I have hope.
I think you were ready to date, but now you have a new wrinkle in the dilemma with this breakup. All I can say is that if Pat and I broke up, I would give myself time and do what I did when I was rebuilding my life after J.R.'s death. I would concentrate on friends and family, things I enjoy and building myself into a person I want to spend time with and leave the rest up to chance for a little while. The most important thing is that you take joy in your life and you enjoy living it.
Hugs,
Val
I regret that she got hurt. It wasn't my intention. She told me just moments ago that my ex fiancé treated her more importantly than I do. I'm the one who is there for her. Where is he?
ill work on enjoying it. Lol!
I really do appreciate the responses