HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group

We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...

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Death & Dying
/ HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Support Group

Something clicked

tikibell1
tikibell1
I woke up to a pity party on the 4th of July lost in memories of when I was happy! I put a smile on and went and joined my family. It was later at home alone that something clicked inside of me. I am so tired of being sad and lonely and the past consuming every thought! I want to be happy I want it so badly that I am willing to try harder to close the door and leave it behind. Not sure how and I suffer from depression so it will be a challenge but for the first time I am feeling hopeful about my future. Growing older by the minute but they say it is never to late!
Meboysmom
Meboysmom
Not sure what you are thinking "older" is but it is never too late to step out. I enjoy volunteering and now that I have re-married I have hope again. Some people do well alone but I did not! blessings Bonnie
kynessie
kynessie
I'm at 3.5 years and I made a conscious decision to not isolate myself after my husband died. He was sick for a very long time and because of caregiving, we were somewhat isolated. Shortly after his death, friends asked me to go out to dinner or shopping. I took them up on each offer. The only offers I didn't take them up on was a bar weekend to meet men. I told them as a group one day at lunch that I appreciate the invitations, but that I would never go. They respected that and stopped inviting me, but told me I was welcome to include myself if I wanted. The reasons I didn't go were that I don't drink and I'm not in the market for another husband. I want to learn to live with me and just me.

I guess I'm one of those people that are alone, but not lonely. I work full time and enjoy my job. At first I had a tendency to volunteer to work all the overtime I could get and then I realized that was just covering up to keep myself busy. So I stopped that, stepped back, and made another conscious effort to try and make a life for myself alone.

I have the hobby of cross stitching that I lost when my husband died, but I've forced myself to get back into it and I love it once again. I come home to an empty house, but that is okay. Just like I feel my marriage was, being a widow is a lot of work. My opinion is that nothing comes easy in this life and that I have to work hard to get out of it what I want out of it.

I'm an introvert and an only child. I play well by myself and it's very easy for me to keep to myself at home. Thankfully, my friends keep inviting me and I keep going though not to bars. LOL. I've adjusted well though I still have sad days, but I don't have any "bad" days anymore. It's more like bad moments.

So I think you can do this if you have the will to work at it. It won't be easy and some days you might take a step or two backwards. In the end, learning to build your life from the bottom up is something to be proud of. I know I am proud of myself so far in this journey. Keep up the good thoughts

Nessie from KY