HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group

We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...

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Death & Dying
/ HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Support Group

Retirement Plans

jeanatds
jeanatds
It's a way out yet for me but how are some of you handling or did handle the 'lost future' we often refer to on the WW board? My husband and I had always planned to spend the winter months in a warmer climate. I wanted to get a second home but he wanted to rent and go different places each year. I don't really want to try and maintain another property so thinking of finding a rental to return to each year. If I even still want to do this at all! Why should I if it's just me? Should my children be my priority now and I should always be around in case they need nana help? Should I not commit to a property in case a serious relationship comes up again in my life, drift for if? I'm going on a road trip soon to explore Texas Hill Country, and hoping for some clarity on this. I'd read something a little while back that related to a then WW commentary, 'get busy living or get busy dying', and this article asked 'are you retiring to live or retiring to die'. Seems so hard to plan when there is no one to plan with, but it seems a plan would be good to make sure of retiring to live. Any thoughts?
Hugs to all,
Jean
Cheryl1149
Cheryl1149
I was all set to retire at 62, when my husband passed away unexpectedly almost 4 years ago. I decided to continue working until February of this year, and am now trying to adjust to retirement. I don't miss working at a stressful job, but am struggling to fill my days with some sort of routine.....it's still a
work in progress, but I know I will get there.
SandyV1
SandyV1
I was waiting for my husband to retire and planned to retire early so we could play together. We didn't get the chance. I continued to work until I found some new stability and am retiring in December. I'm 56.
I love TJ's idea of becoming comfortable with our dreams and finding we are capable to make some of them happen.
I've designated 2016 my gap year and am now getting quite excited about what I may do.
I'm at 17 months now. For most of the first year I couldn't imagine a future. Now I can.
zenzone1962
zenzone1962
My husband was 56 when he died 5 1/2 years ago and I was 48. We looked forward to the children growing up, moving out, dancing naked at home whenever we felt like it, and perhaps traveling a bit. I'm now 53, the youngest children graduated HS the same month he died and left for college within a couple of months, so I was a new widow with instant empty nest. I took a year or so off of work, solo tent camped my way across the country trying to figure my new life out, and eventually came home and found a new job. I'll probably work another decade (unless I win the lottery <g>) and then buy myself a motorhome and travel some more.
tableforone
tableforone
Capri and I had it all figured out. We had a place in the TX hill country and a plan to retire there. That was our place for clarity also. Plans often change and did for us too. She talked me into seeking the place in the months before she died. She could see that dream was not to be and told me it was time to find a new dream. I spent the first year after her death really just living to die but this year I began to discover myself. It was hard making decisions on my own but it was time for me to get busy living, find a new dream. Early this year there were changes at work and I found myself retired a little sooner than planned so I had to adjust my plan, alter the dream a little. In the last few months something new has begun to happen in my life, exciting and full of unknowns, possibilities to explore. More living and dreaming to do. Change is inevitable. What we do with it is what defines us.
russ1153
russ1153
I was planning to retire when my wife unexpectedly passed away. I decided to continue working for another year and did retire the next year. I have been enjoying retirement, though it's nothing like I had planned. I joined a number of Meet-Up groups so I have been very busy going to different events. I get to sleep in each morning, then do what I want each day. After 2.5 years I'm now feeling strong enough to start doing some traveling. I plan to move forward and make decisions as if I will be alone as that's where I am now. If I do meet someone I will adjust plans accordingly.
Russ