HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group
We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...
It makes me crazy. I'm 40 yrs old and didn't choose to be alone. I invested 24 years into a good marriage. I envisioned having my partner to grow old with. Never got the chance. I don't like sleeping alone, coming home to no hugs or kisses, no more date nights, no one to hold me, girlfriends only trips. I've had a couple of weeks to ponder this and I don't think it's in me to be alone the rest of my life. It could be a really long time from now. 49. Geez. My daughter is 14. She will be grown in a few years. Then, it's just me. I don't think I like that prospect. So, what advice do you have? With any of it? I don't feel it's betraying my late husband. He was wonderful. We enjoyed being together, being a couple. We never talked about "what if", so I think it is my choice.
It's so frustrating, because I feel like a 2 yr old tantruming. But, I don't want to be alone. So, what advice do you have? Dating. Online dating. Bars. Any of it. Before I get out there, I would like to know.
It's so frustrating, because I feel like a 2 yr old tantruming. But, I don't want to be alone. So, what advice do you have? Dating. Online dating. Bars. Any of it. Before I get out there, I would like to know.
missmyhero
So what we have to do is allow ourselves to grieve for what we lost knowing that we will not have that life again. What we can have down the road can be just as good....but it will never ever be the same. We need to get to know who we are now. We need to learn to treat ourselves as the precious person that we are. We need to be kind and loving to ourselves and when we are we then are ready to attract another person who will treat us the way we deserve to be treated.
missmyhero
Then we need to get very specific about what we are looking for. I would suggest that you start with things like morals...not things like hair color. Dating web sites are out there...and that is how I met my Craig...but please know that for every one winner...there are 9 lieing or cheating or out to score as much as possible men on them. You have to get really good at talking to them first and being ready to say NO you are not the one for me....
deleted_user
You are right by the fact "That I didn't chose to be alone"....When one is labeled widow or divorced, it seems when a widow goes into another relationship to soon its spoken of and not so much when one divorces. Are you ready and if you are, go for it...your husband would want to see you happy...Its been 18 months since my husband passed and someone has found some interest in me and I in him... I'm taking this also a day at a time...
mel40
It's going to require a lot of courage on my part. But, hey, I faced being a caregiver and death not too long ago. I can handle it! I think the online dating is a great way to get practice, meet people and get comfortable in "dating". I won't try to force love or anything else for that matter, just let things take their course. I have 2 1/2 more weeks for my ankle to heal. School starts Thursday. I am forced to take it slow! Thank goodness! Lol!
NewRoadsForMe
I've only had 2 experiences with meeting someone. My first one was at 2 years and we met through ChristianMingle. It was a disaster. Then, at 3 years I met a man at my "new" church that has turned into a pleasant friendship. We enjoy doing things like eating out together. This relationship looks like it has staying power. I'm kinda turned off from the online stuff. So many people there are looking for Ms. Beautiful, Ms. Hot Stuff, Ms. Money, etc. When I let go of the purposeful looking and just started living life, I found a really good guy. It didn't happen overnight. I was anxious and wondering why God would leave me alone. But during that alone time I have grieved well and forged a new life that can now include someone new. My advice is just to live life the best way you can, let God work his will in your life. So many times I have doubted God, but he comes through in HIS own time!! Good luck!! Do not be discouraged. (Easier said than done, I know!)
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