I agree about volunteering as it takes the focus off us and makes it about someone else. I just signed up to helpnout at the local animal shrlter where I will start out as a rog walker.
Russ

Good for you! Russ, speaking for myself, and maybe it applies to others....if I spend too much time looking inward (and again, at 21 months now, I am well past the stage of acute, raw grief) I all I see is myself...alone, longing for the life I used to have.

BUT, If I look outward, I see the world, and all that it has to offer. I see other human beings, that are really not much different than I. I feel connected once again. NONE of us gets off this planet easy...we all suffer. We all have our secret grief, and at no time is that more apparent than when you are being kind...

Dog walking. What a great thing! Those helpless creatures will love you for it. You will get good exercise, and who knows who you might meet along the way! Win-win, no matter how you see it. Feeling connected does not necessarily mean being in love!

Sorry if I sounded like I was on a soap box. I am just very passionate about staying involved. I don't want to look back and see these years of my life wasted because I sat on the pity pot way more than I should have... (not saying it isn't necessary at times, I just don't want it to be my primary place of residence!)

26 months now... I like me. It took a lot of looking inward to find me again. I am pleased with myself. I don't remember too much from my married life anymore. but it was abusive. I DO know, I don't want to get into that again...Just too bad I can't turn the time back on my mirror though...

As with Sandee, I am at 26 months. I feel good and in agreement with myself. From the start, I have kept busy. I have renewed friendships, made new ones by joining a couple of walking groups and a couple of meet up groups with the same interests as me.

Like most people here, I would like to find someone special but I am not sure it will happen so I have decided to be happy with myself, and I am. It is true that I have been dating a man for a few months now but I know he is not for me. If felt some excitement at the beginning of our relationship but now he bores me. I am slowly getting out of that relationship because It is unfair to him because I don't love him. I admit now, he was convenient at the time and he certainly boosted my self-confidence no end and he makes a good traveling companion but the spark is not there on my part, so that might be the end of a story.

In my view, the more people you meet, either through volunteering or pursuing what interests you, the more chance you have to meet someone special but, this said, it might not happen when we want it to happen or even not happen at all. Let's keep and open mind.

My best wishes.