Russ... I feel the same as you. I wonder if I will ever feel anything again? Maybe I am meant to travel his road alone? I have dated a few men, but tire of them easily, they get on my nerves, even though they haven't done anything wrong. I want that that tingly feeling you get when you are in love. But just feel numb....

I've been in and out of that phase from time to time... I've realized lately that, although I'm excited about my potentially intriguing beau to come visit, I'm not as heart-poundingly excited as I might have been a year ago... Not certain if that's a good or a bad thing.

I know how you feel Russ, seems there isn't a spark with anyone. I hope it changes one day. It's been 5 years for me. I guess I haven't found the "one" yet. I admire you, for getting active so soon. It took me almost 2 years to feel comfortable at the Meet Up groups.

Paula

Russ and Paula, I'm glad you have the Meet Up groups. There aren't any around here that are in my age/interest range. I've reconnected with an old boyfriend from the past, and it's "OK" but that spark isn't there. Don't know exactly what that means. Been a year so maybe it's too soon....???

I too can't seem to feel anything and it is almost five years for me. I just can't seem to get emotionally invested with anyone. I want to find love again but just can't seem to get there, as much as I try.

I always heard, !st marriage is for Love... 2nd is for Companionship.... 3rd... I forgot what is is....lol

well Ray was my third and yes the first was for love but he was a cheater...
2nd was for companionship and he was boring and it didn't work out
Ray was my third, I his 3rd, I late 30's he early 40's and it was for both, love and companionship,
thought/plans we'd grow old togethger, were
as happy together as two pig's in slop. LOL
I know it's an old saying but I wonder........doubt they'll be a 4th, maybe no saying goes that far.

Sandee the version I always heard was the first time one married for love, the second time for money! LOL

BTW, has that guy stopped texting you?

My first love was my husband. We met in high school and truly grew up together, raising our children and building a future. It was a strong solid love that reached deeply in our hearts and grew deeper through our marriage of 40 years.

Then I met a friend who's company I enjoyed, but no romantic connection. I treasure both relationships although very different. Because I learned from them, I was able to live my own life and feel complete. I never had been on my own before a the feelings of inadequacy prevailed.

Then I met Artie. There's no doubt it was love. It was exciting, invigorating, and oh so wonderful. I felt like a teenager again. I truly believe if I hadn't discovered me first, I would not have had the love I found.

So, first there was love. Second was discovery and friendship. Third was love again. Sharon

hgsdms... So far with my short one word answers. Especially when he questioned me about taking 3 minutes or longer to answer ?? for the last few days, nothing... maybe he got my hint?

hgsdms.... maybe that what it is.... My memory is getting bad...lol I knew 1st was for love..... money? that would be nice.......lol

Another Feel empty moment. I am a Nicholas Sparks nut. So I have been trying to go see the movie, Longest Ride. I finally got to go today. Here I sit in the theatre, Tissues in hand, drink in holder, sitting in a seat away from everyone else, waiting for the tears to come rushing through. I moved 3 times before the movie started. An hour into the movie, I keep checking my watch. Where are the sad parts? I really need a tear jerking movie to get these tears going, I need cleansing!!! 2 hours and 8 minutes I waited for tears to flow. Nothing!!!... I left the theatre and felt so cheated, I drove an hour and a half getting back home. On the way I stopped at the cemetery. No tears. I stopped at a local carnival. No laughter. So today is my youngest sons 45th birthday. I went to his house to give him his gift. Hugged my grandchildren. Yes, I felt the love. Where's my emotions?

There is possibility that you are not quite healed yet, and it is not only about how much time passed from the loss.

Depending on your stage in life, and level of your acceptance this new chapter, you might need just companionship, without the "sparkle" and skipping the heartbeat.
Meeting a right one is possible, but we have to be in a right place mentally, emotionally, after finding a new identity as a single person.
Some people are designed to get attached easily, "they love being in love". They just pick a "match" and make them to become their emotional outlet. While others are looking for their second half. It is wonderful to be with a person who is so close to you, and so in sync with you that they could literally bring the best in your. Having that person is essential for a full reveal of your emotional capacity, and your existence.
If this suppose to happen, it will, but meantime, there are friendships, companionship, perhaps even with some dating overtone. Enjoy the social interaction, share fun experiences without expecting every time she/he "the one", stay engaged in life, and she or he will come along.
Peace and harmony to all.

Speaking for myself. I know I get lost in the loneliness. I try so hard to fill my emptiness, I lose sight of what is really important. Happiness. I get so wound up in the process I forget to just enjoy the company. I have an expectation of a Hallmark moment and then jumping to the last page. My story is not yet finished. Who knows where my story will take me if I give it a chance.
Mark

Russ, You CAN feel again...it just takes time and the right person to let you know. My first "widowed kiss" was so shockingly wonderful that I almost fell into the freezing waters of Lake Tahoe. I had dated this man several times...nice, a little flirty, but then PPPPPOW! We were standing in the water on a very hot day and he just kissed me. Out of no where. It was amazing. And SO unexpected. I knew then that I could feel/respond to another man again...

Now, has that right man come along? Not yet. But I am hopeful. I was in a very intense relationship for a few months, he showed me that I am capable of LOVING once again. So put the two together, and I know if the right guy comes along, I will be able to move into a more serious relationship...hopeful the one that will last...

Do NOT give up. Keep yourself involved in things that put your attention outside of yourself. Volunteer to help those less fortunate, find a cause you care about and get involved...I truly believe helping others (certainly after we pass through the initial stages of grief) can make our lives far more fulfilling...and less lonely.

I so agree with Sharon on this. Find yourself first...then someone else can.