HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group
We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...
And I don't mean about "being hopeful" although there is some of that in there too...
I mean just in general, as loud as you can, at the world and how its treated us to get us all in this situation?
I know I've actually screamed a few times like that over the past couple of months, just in frustration or grief.. Lately, it *is* about trying to be hopeful and the potential relationship I was wanting/working on, apparently withering and dying before it ever began...
that combined with stress from work, stress from trying to move, and grief...I just feel like letting out a giant primal scream right now...
If anyone sees a news story about a man in WA state being chased around by guys with giant butterfly nets, while he is screaming at the top of his lungs, its probably me..I'll make sure to wave at the cameras for you all
:)
I mean just in general, as loud as you can, at the world and how its treated us to get us all in this situation?
I know I've actually screamed a few times like that over the past couple of months, just in frustration or grief.. Lately, it *is* about trying to be hopeful and the potential relationship I was wanting/working on, apparently withering and dying before it ever began...
that combined with stress from work, stress from trying to move, and grief...I just feel like letting out a giant primal scream right now...
If anyone sees a news story about a man in WA state being chased around by guys with giant butterfly nets, while he is screaming at the top of his lungs, its probably me..I'll make sure to wave at the cameras for you all
:)
SO altho' where I live rurally I could scream my head off and no one would hear I am sitting trying not to panic instead. No way can I afford @44$ a foot a new well.
I think I could probably make money opening a studio for people to come scream in..
Grabbed ahold of the downstairs porch post, and started weeping but screams just tore their way out from inside.. there was no thought, no mind, just screaming wails with all my power until I started sinking down to the ground. then 'I need to talk to my Father.'
my oldest grand daughter came out with somebody else? they pulled me up, dragged me into a car and said she'd take me home.. and I could pray.
I didn't realize how loud and guttural my screaming was. until a some days later, I asked my daughter whether she knew if her neighbors heard.
she paused, looked at me all confused, and said "Mom. the neighbors heard, and anyone for blocks around heard. word must've gotten out that Dad died, or else the 911 people would've rolled up for sure."
Whether it helped much, is a question. it seems other-worldly.
Can't say I'm coping well. I don't know how to do this.
it does seem otherworldly doesnt it..i think it does help, just as much as crying..course both still happen..so maybe both help..have not cried or screamed in almost 3 - 4 days now i think..got a little teary eyed a few times but not too bad..
I often think of those I met here that allowed me to scream via keystrokes on this keyboard. But if they seen in me in person would they notice? Probably not. That is the worst part of all this. So I go through each fay in hope but with a reality in place.
I know this sounds terrible I attribute it to what today is in my history. To keep the memory is also to keep the loss of it all,, at times so confusing.
Blessing and a Scream... I am ALIVE. The answer is "okay, then live"