Mar, Try to talk things out. Maybe both of you can apologize and fix it. if he was good company, don't let him get away. Relationships are a little bit of work. Hugs, Dolores

Thanks Regwin....He doesn't want to work on anything...it's over and that's that. No talking...he's made up his mind. He has no clue what he's lost.

Mar, His Loss. There are other fish in the sea. Keep your mind and heart open..........and be glad you found out now what he's about. One door closes and another one opens.. A Huge Hug, Dolores

I had the same thing happen last year. I dated a lady for a few months and as we got closer I panicked. I said some things that she misunderstood and it was over. I realized I still wasn't ready for a relationship and have had only one date over the last year. If it happens it happens if not I'll be OK.

Russ

Thank you Dolores and Russ:

To be perfectly honest this loss is worse than losing my husband. At least I had a few months to prepare for Charlie's passing. This loss happened so suddenly I can't wrap my head around it. One day fine and the next he says he done and get out of his house. He won't even talk to me. I'm not doing well at all. I miss him...my heart aches....another loss in less than 10 months...Right now I just want my Charlie home with me and I know that can't happen. I really want to join him now.

How awful for you Mar! He doesn't sound one bit understanding. It probably is good that he is no longer in your life, but I truly understand your feelings. We so miss the hugs and other loving actions of a male that we sometimes "settle" for less than ideal. I hope someone worthy of you will show up in your life very soon. Big hugs to you.

So sorry this happened to you. The same thing happened to me. No warning, no talking it out actually no reason. Just that he was done. I grieve over it still to this day. But I am trying to regain my self confidence and move forward. Hugs to you my friend. We have survived the worst that can happen to us we will survive this.
Hugs, Sandi

It is hard to understand when someone just wants it to be over. There may be a lot more going on with him than you know. He may not be able to handle a relationship right now.. I'm sorry you've had this disappointment . Starting over after losing Charlie isn't easy. When we have been secure and loved then someone mistreats us it is hurtful. Try to go slow and gather strength. Peace will come. Brighter days are ahead. Hugs, Dolores

Mar - I'm very sorry this has happened to you. Very sorry for your loss...
I went through the same thing with a gentleman I dated a year ago. After I met Art (my new beau) I realized I was better off - if Bernie could not handle my days of insecurity, of anxiety, of grief waves, and stick by me with compassion and understanding, then I would not be able to count on him when real trouble hit.
About 3 months into our relationship, I had a heart issue. Art took me to the ER, and was at my side through the entire time.
That's the kind of man you want with you, Mar. One who will stand by through thick and thin.
As for this being worse than losing Charlie - I can understand that. Charlie did not leave by choice. This man did, rejecting your relationship. That hurts.
Don't worry - there's better out there for you.
sending love... Jacq.

Jacq,

Your Art sounds like a terrific guy. A very close friend told me that I handled the passing of Charlie so well that she thinks this loss has more to do with Charlie than this current situation. This loss just really pulled out all the emotions that never came out before. I know in my mind I'm better off without this kind of treatment...but the heart has not caught up. The funny thing is I met two men at the same time on Senior Meet. I was honest with them both about the passing of my husband...one man (the one I was with) told me I just needed someone who could understand when I was having a bad day and just back and listen. The other man told me that friends would be fine (he had just lost 3 in a month.) Now it's the second gentleman that is stepping up and listening to me and telling me I deserve better....I'm blessed to have this one as a friend. It's made me realize that there are good ones out there.

I'm sorry you are struggling and know how difficult it is. Just know that you are with others who understand and are here for you. Sharon

Thank you Sharon.

I'd like to share these quotes with you - they have moved my heart when I first read them

"You are not a terrible person for wanting to break up with someone you love. You don’t need a reason to leave. Wanting to leave is enough. Leaving doesn’t mean you’re incapable of real love or that you’ll never love anyone else again. It doesn’t mean you’re morally bankrupt or psychologically demented or a nymphomaniac. It means you wish to change the terms of one particular relationship. That’s all. Be brave enough to break your own heart."

"There are some things you can’t understand yet. Your life will be a great and continuous unfolding. It’s good you’ve worked hard to resolve childhood issues while in your twenties, but understand that what you resolve will need to be resolved again. And again. You will come to know things that can only be known with the wisdom of age and the grace of years. Most of those things will have to do with forgiveness."

"You cannot convince people to love you. This is an absolute rule. No one will ever give you love because you want him or her to give it. Real love moves freely in both directions. Don’t waste your time on anything else."

"Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you’ll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you’ll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small, quiet room."

I went through the same thing last year and still cry everyday. It also makes me miss my partner of 20 years that passed from a sudden heart attack. He was always there for me and pretty much spoiled me. I still miss the new guy. I think I was so used to being spoiled that I showed a bit of attitude around the new guy, and he promptly said that we don't connect and was done with me. I feel like I am stuck between the "old me" and the "new me" that I thought I was developing into. I am grieving all over again.

Veronica...I'm sorry you had to go through this too. This thing called grief sucks. My daughter talked to him and said he had no intentions of calling me again....he couldn't handle the anxiety and ups and downs. I've decided to be alone...can't go through this again, I would never survive another breakup.

I'm sorry to hear about your partner. I don't wish this kind of pain on anyone.

Marilyn