HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group
We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...
We are dating each other again.... The ex fiancé.... We broke up in January. We've texted and talked. I am still very in love with him. I will say that every relationship comes with its challenges and this is no different. He is working on himself and his life. Sounds good, right? Well, I am a little impatient. A part of me is screaming from the inside "what? You're dating him? You were engaged! How can you be back at dating him?"
Well, sometimes, a person is worth that.... Giving him time to figure out what he wants and get himself ready.
Also, we bring our own very different experiences and backgrounds. I've worked very hard to let mine go. First, comparing him to my late husband. It doesn't work. Apples and oranges. Second, letting go of my preconceived notion of how a relationship will go. You know, in a certain order... Lastly, I still find myself having to give myself permission to not fit into the role I had bound myself to in my previous marriage. I'm pretty close but still discovering that I still draw some security from the life I had in the past. Layers; many layers...
I will say that our communication is MUCH better! My anxiety is much better! My fear is much better! Acknowledging his feelings and needs is much easier for me.
We will see what the future holds... Who knows?
Well, sometimes, a person is worth that.... Giving him time to figure out what he wants and get himself ready.
Also, we bring our own very different experiences and backgrounds. I've worked very hard to let mine go. First, comparing him to my late husband. It doesn't work. Apples and oranges. Second, letting go of my preconceived notion of how a relationship will go. You know, in a certain order... Lastly, I still find myself having to give myself permission to not fit into the role I had bound myself to in my previous marriage. I'm pretty close but still discovering that I still draw some security from the life I had in the past. Layers; many layers...
I will say that our communication is MUCH better! My anxiety is much better! My fear is much better! Acknowledging his feelings and needs is much easier for me.
We will see what the future holds... Who knows?
Just a note of caution, I think I sort of know you, girl. You are a lot like me, and I hear the rationalization and the self blame. We are both to quick to take responsibility for the whole world on our shoulders. Please stop, the world is dang heavy. I know because I have carried it too. Be kind to yourself.
Hugs,
Val