HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group
We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...
I met a man on Match.com back in January. We have had some really awesome dates. Dancing, dinners, drive inns, cooking for each other, haunted house for Valentines Day. He has been a real gentleman and friend. He's understanding when I grieve, he's kind and respectful and honors my late husband. When I do start going down the rabbit hole of grief, he tries to lighten my mood and waits patiently and is so supportive of me.
It's been interesting. He is 2 1/2 years older than me. He has the same first and middle name as my late husband. That was an emotional hurdle for both of us, but we are able to laugh about it now. His kids are the same age as my kids. He also believes in God and talks about God with me.
I was attracted the moment I saw him. My heart was on a high, racing and giddy. I was very cautious and believed it was infatuation. I was scared and excited at the same time. I was a little careless and expressed my feelings early on. He reciprocated.
Lately, I'm finding myself falling in love. Comfortable and peaceful with it. At the same time, I am scared to death of loss. He has brought something very good into my life, just like my late husband did; the ability to love someone no matter what... The selfless type of love that exists between couples. (Wow, first time I've referred to us as a couple!)
I'm reminding myself that everything in life is transitory. I can not predict tomorrow or the outcome of this relationship. But I can love.... The greatest gift I have to offer this world is love. This relationship is definitely strengthening my ability to love selflessly in all areas of my life; family, work, church, friends and community.
Just wanted to share. I never thought I would meet anyone good online. I never thought I would love again. I never thought it would be good for my kids but he IS good for them. I have been told many times, "Never say never."
It's been interesting. He is 2 1/2 years older than me. He has the same first and middle name as my late husband. That was an emotional hurdle for both of us, but we are able to laugh about it now. His kids are the same age as my kids. He also believes in God and talks about God with me.
I was attracted the moment I saw him. My heart was on a high, racing and giddy. I was very cautious and believed it was infatuation. I was scared and excited at the same time. I was a little careless and expressed my feelings early on. He reciprocated.
Lately, I'm finding myself falling in love. Comfortable and peaceful with it. At the same time, I am scared to death of loss. He has brought something very good into my life, just like my late husband did; the ability to love someone no matter what... The selfless type of love that exists between couples. (Wow, first time I've referred to us as a couple!)
I'm reminding myself that everything in life is transitory. I can not predict tomorrow or the outcome of this relationship. But I can love.... The greatest gift I have to offer this world is love. This relationship is definitely strengthening my ability to love selflessly in all areas of my life; family, work, church, friends and community.
Just wanted to share. I never thought I would meet anyone good online. I never thought I would love again. I never thought it would be good for my kids but he IS good for them. I have been told many times, "Never say never."
You all know I remarried almost 4 years ago. Something I haven't said much about is the fact that my current husband was diagnosed with bladder cancer two years ago. The last two years have been full of Dr.'s appointments, surgeries, treatments......and a lot of fear and grief. So far, he's doing fairly well....but the future is far from certain.
I've wondered if I could turn back the hands of time, would I have taken the risk or marrying again. Some days, I tell myself no......but most days, I still say yes.
Loving again puts your heart at risk, but not to love again when you have the chance, is to slowly choke the life out of it.. You can't ever regret caring for another human being.... its why we're here. To love and care for each other.
So sorry to hear about your husband's battle with that dreadful disease. All of us that have seen loved ones go through treatments, etc know exactly what you are going through. It is a sad fact that in every couple, one will lose the other, but you are so right about taking the chance. Humans are not solitary beings. We need to love and be loved by another.
Big AZ hug coming to you.
Darlene