Hi. I am a HOCD sufferer. Or I thourght I was. I don't know any more. Please help me. I am a girl and I fancy my mates boyfriend to the point of obsession and yet when I kiss boys it doesn't feel right. I read stuff all the time about gay people and at the back of my mind I think, that could be me. But it also could be all of us. I have been OCD for as long as I care to remember, about being sick or about bad things happening to the ones I love and now this new deep dark fear has been brewed in my heart easier than a stupid cup of tea and I have stretched it so far it's now my greatest fear- my fear I am a lesbian. I worry I give off gay vibes and I can't talk to anyone. When I talk about how in love I am with my mates boyfriend it sounds false and I look down in case the person on the recieving end of my conversation realises something I don't and tells everyone. Is this OCD? I feel trapped by my own mind and I can't let anyone know. It started when a rumour flew through my school and made me question my own sexuality, ever since, this disorder has been tearing me apart. What shall I do? Is his HOCD?