I am really really worried and scared and I don't know if this is real or not

i'm gonna see a therapist, starting this weekend. i'm have flows of no anxiety and then really bad bouts of hocd. its me finally deciding to be happy. learn to retrain my thought processes. to not be paranoid that the world is plotting to turn me gay...its a really unhealthy way of thinking and im ready to change it. i feel like i cant sort things out myself. so i am seeking help.

@dezza, if you say you are not gay...then you are not. the ocd tries to tell you the most negative outcome of every situation. and when it comes to something personal as our sexuality, it really grabs a hold. just hang in there, there are others suffering. i feel like it takes constant work to get rid of my anxiety and depression. with the hocd, i dont know how to deal with it. its like my mind whispers, even yells the word GAY over and over. kinda sick, maybe even demonic. but i keep praying God will help me, plus i think seeing therapist will help. hang in there though, this is a season for healing!!!!!