I think for all of us that have come to suffer from this subset of OCD it's because it's our of fear. Common sense I know but I made a post on another forum I created about how anxiety feeds off fear we all know this but I had this new found of way of thinking this morning 

The majority of us that deal with HOCD have never feared or worried about being gay or Bi-sexual our whole lives. The onset of it in most cases I see is sudden and usually after OCD has been obsessive in other areas before moving here. And I think because we are so open minded and majority of us not homophobic we are willing to compulsively evaluate these thoughts and if you are that isn't denial that obsession 

But that's all it is. I know it's hard to imagine but that's all it is. You have a fear you never knew you were afraid of. You never knew being gay or Bi-sexual would scare you cause you never wasted time wondering or doubting in this area. You weren't so you didn't bother but now because our OCD has become hung up on this area we find ourselves afraid we've sudden become it 

There's credence to the saying we only fear what we don't understand and that's true that's why we don't fret in other areas because there's no reason to the same way once upon a time there was no reason to fear whatever your last obsession was. It's a pattern of obessive "what ifs" because we understand it's logical to discover your sexuality changes we worry about it happening to us and ask "what if? how do we?" the same way someone who has the compulsion about germs knows there are no germs on their skin but cannot stop worrying about it or be certain that's us 

The same way that person won't get cancer from touching a door knob is the same way you won't become gay or bisexual from worrying about it 

But that's all it is, A NEW FOUND AWARENESS about a fear we never knew we had and since it scares us OCD hangs onto it in a mixed up act of protecting us 

Wether your a teenager or adult with OCD

It only hangs on to what you react fearfully to 

That's why the mental, and physical checking rituals happen because you want proof you aren't but think back to when you didn't need proof to assure you weren't and that's because you still aren't 

Someone who isn't Obessessively afraid of their house getting broken into won't check the locks three dozen times but someone who irrationally fears it will happen will 

We're no different, obsession feeds of consistency, we must take back that consistency, the longer you hold fear on it the more you will think about it, and some of it is just chemical misfiring as I've been told in therapy you don't control your thoughts only how you react to them which is true again that's why before you didn't obsess about being gay or bisexual because you didn't have a fearful need to react that way worrying 

I bet before this we were all secure enough in our sexuality to admit when a man or woman was attractive without obsessing about it but now because it's your current Obsession we hang onto it 

We have to break the cycle any thoughts that pop into your head you don't control stop reacting to them

Any compulsion you get to check that will make you feel better stop them because if they could solve your problems we wouldn't be still doing them for hours on end day after day and we know they don't work but it's a habit for momentary relief which some days we'd take 

Stop avoiding and reacting heavily and your mind will find a new obsession I promise you and when it does you'll see the pattern of how the mind grabs things we fear or learn we fear not things we actually are or have been