HIV Support Group

HIV (also known as human immunodeficiency virus, and formerly known as HTLV-III and lymphadenopathy-associated virus) is a retrovirus that primarily infects vital components of the human immune system which can lead the syndrome known as AIDS. Many of the problems faced by people infected with HIV result from failure of the immune system to protect from opportunistic...

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squeaker1231 07/17/2015

My husband and I have not have sex since dx in 2009. He is really afraid he may contact the HIV virus. I have tried to educate him, leaving information he can read where he can see it. Once my husband gets something in his mind he almost never changes his outlook. We do meet our physical needs individually. Taking a good look at what was really bothering me was not the actual act of sex but the cuddlno, massages, just the touching. I realized if I wanted my needs meet it was up to me to try and make changes. I started sitting next to him when watching tv and laying my head on his shoulder. I also started m to give him foot massage. What I want to know is anyone else have this problem. It would be nice to know I was not alone. I also would welcome any other suggestions in getting my needs meet. Not the sex but the touching and cuddling. Thank you any one respondin to my post.

LdyRavynWlf45 07/19/2015

I understand how u feel and what you are going thru but sometimes just the stigma alone is hard for some people to get thru, My husband gave me the virus from past relationships he had been thru and he had contracted it from one of the girls he used to date, but first and foremost find what makes u happy and start by being happy and content with your life and all will fall into place in time. I know it hurts for u miss the closeness but if he truly loves u and I am sure he does he will open up to you and what you are trying to show him about the disease .....

justmia 07/21/2015

This is one of those silver lining situations ..you are still with your husband and life is full of possibilities. I wonder what he would say if you were to have another man touching you since he won't. My thoughts and prayers are with you that changes come to your relationship. Like my Grandma used to say, a woman is sitting on a lot of power. You know him better than anyone, use that power! I have not been in your shoes but I do know love can move mountains. Don't give up.

mark1424 07/23/2015

Hi Squeaker, Mia & Ravyn,
Yes Mia, Love does move mountains. And yes again Mia, a Woman is one of power in a relationship w/ anything sexual as well as companionship & Motherhood. But as far as a poz woman w/an HIV- man? Her power is null&void, Finito!!!!! Different circumstances all together!!! I believe powerless is the describing word

Ravyn, your correct as to stigma. It defines our existence. & what a shame that is!! Magic Johnson, Author Ashe, Rock Hudson are all associated to our disease. They are not immune to stigma PERIOD..... Yes Rav, over time, it could change!! Could??

Squeak, your right where you need to be " gentle " when fear is associated w/ our condition. It's baby steps & encouragement. They come around if they are in Love w/ you!! That's all anyone like us can hope for.

If your poz Mia, your in for a rudeawakening!!! But welcome to DS nonetheless. Mia is an Italian name? But you sound like your Brazilian? Love the positivity

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