If it bothers you, he should respect your wishes. Just my 2 cents.

Does he do this when face to face with women in general when you're there? If so, it seems like it's just his demeanor. I have a happily married male facebook friend who does this to all females, and it's just his way. I do agree with Reed that he should respect your wishes if it bothers you though.

Having been married twice and having issues with this, I would think he could refrain from saying it so obviously around you as you have expressed how much it bothers you. Or tone it down. I fail to see why such personal terms must be used to convey terms of endearment in front of a spouse/partner who clearly is not comfortable with it no matter if it is a problem with said spouse/partner that they need to resolve. In the moment, go with discretion until a compromise is made?

I have a hard time with this. Co workers at my work say to customers-hey hon, sweetheart.....I can't do it, it feels too personal. If a customer says these words to me, I feel uncomfortable, what's the catch? Why are they saying that?
I get jealous, I am jealous when a partner says those words to others, even though there is noting to worry about, or I don't think so but because I can be a jealous person, I wonder sometimes which does not help me or my partner in a relationship.

Spunkycat,I do agree with you, why is it necessary? I mean, why the need to say those things, is it because the person saying them is trying too hard? The words-wants. That word would bother me if used like that, why is it so important. I hope that by expressing how it makes you feel, which apparently you have, that will maybe help him see how much it bothers you and maybe it can be compromised, like say it when you are not around or won't know about or see?

He may have just always has been this way, did you know this before hand? That may be the light in all this, that he just is that way naturally and means no harm, in that case I'd think he would want you to feel comfortable-that want word used helpfully..
Do they say the same things to their significant other? i can understand a genial good natured person but this can get out of hand I think.

But then again, I am a jealous sort so what do I know? I have to fight it often, it's mostly I am sure from long term insecurity which is fading from my persona now but it's slow tough going. Old habits die hard and being insecure was a habit, a pattern of thinking. trying to make myself snap out of it.

The points you make about WHY you husband uses terms of endearment are all describing intimacy ... lessening boundaries. I personally find that kind of talk unless it is my mother or a very close relationship REPULSIVE . Now and again an older person says something like that and I find it understandable. Then I have a friend who talks that way with every one, she lives in the South and every one gets that kind of lingo. I don't necessarily like it but it is her pattern. I don't relate to it at all. It is the way adults talk to children and then females so I consider it up to date derogatory but also as a way to get CLOSE. YUCK!

I find it sickening to hear the words Sweetheart, Honey, Tootsie etc... I feel degraded if a stranger male or female addresses me in this fashion---I immediately correct them by saying; please address me as (first or last name). I agree Zhee that in some parts of the midwest this is a cultural difference, but it still takes me back a bit until I try to justify it in my mind that it is a harmless personable greeting of sorts-- but it still bothers me!! I would be horrified if my husband addressed one of my female friends or relatives this way..He would never do this.

It would hurt my feeling and make me jealous. FB is not for me.