BULLYING is the word for it !! That is a terrible situation, I am so sorry for you. It seems these days that is what is happening everywhere----schools, jobs all over. People seem so mad and hateful so they play a 'hate game' of bullying others.

I had that happen so often at jobs----in fact I saw this woman that started stories about me at a former job. She was in TJ ----- store. I saw her out of the corner of my eye and as soon as she saw me she whipped around and I never saw her again in the store. I laughed all the way home because she was afraid of me !

Companies and everywhere seem to love watching the 'chick fights' go on----just remember what goes around comes around (in the Bible-book of Obadiah). They will get done to them what they dished out to you. At that same company I worked at this one guy removed some supplies from an area that I had to keep refilled in case of an emergency. I knew it was him and he knew that I knew it too. After I left the place he was found dead of a heart attack in his garage. Same with another women there that was a Supervisor and nurse, she spread stuff about me----she ended up with a blood disease, got spots all over her face and then died after I had left there. Don't get me wrong---I don't wish death on anyone but people answer for how they treat others. That does happen.

So just hold your head high and something else will open up for you even if you have to maybe carpool and drive to it. Keep your eyes open for a new opportunity and just write those jerks off, don't let it bother you then they are winning.......hugs to you !

Thank you so much for the encouragement. I agree with you completely that what goes around comes around ten fold. You're right--I'm just going to look for new opportunities.

ChatDana, I am not so sure about the idea that what goes around comes around 10 fold. That seems to be a thought that carries resentment and vengeance like you will get yours for doing this to me.

I believe it to be a lot more affective to take control of your life rather than allowing bullies ... especially those that work through organizing dirty gazes and more.

Further on this belief is that YOU DO CONTAIN THE POWER TO NOT STEP INTO THE OTHER PERSONS OPERATING SYSTEM aka dysfunctional drama triangle. The real issue is can you connect with this power with in, claim it and move that way in all directions ... which basically sees through the bullies lie to them self and the lie that you fear pointed in your direction.

You are only as interesting to a bully as you are reactive and reactivity is like a drug to a bully. Cut the drug and they have to go else where.

You also have the power cultivate a new allie since the now president is leaving.
In other words this is a great plat form to take to figuring out what you can do to change the conditions and stop putting energy in the idea that it all come around ten fold. That is hardly a full and cohesive truth. It may serve as a comfort but It is also the easy way out of learning. There is something to learn when it comes to handling abusive types and bullies. It can be done but not in the way that is reactive and fearful.

On the side, Bully directs (projects) what they want to distance & disown so the other person becomes the carrier. DON'T CARRY and you don't have to leave the premisis to NOT CARRY. It is important to learn how to do this .. not carry other persons shame because it relates to your shame. Read "The Shame that BINDS"

An excellent, alternative way to view the situation from pageo. From my own past experience with bullies, I learned to try to see such a situation as a teachable moment. As long as someone's toxicity is affecting me, I have some important lesson to learn. It's not a pleasant or easy lesson, but it's necessary to grow. With so many bullies lying in wait, it's much better to take the shots in order to become immune. I think when we face this kind of attack and learn what we need to about ourselves, we are no longer prey for bullies in general. They can sort of smell personal courage and integrity and when they do, they run off in search of other targets. If you decide to take pageo's advice, I would really like to hear updates on your inevitable victory.

I don't agree with this thought process. Bullies will keep on a person until they get the best of them and then they move on to their next target.........I never allowed them to get the best of me that is why they kept on me. It was a challenge and their goal. If you work at a job with bullies the best is to ignore them as much as possible and treat everyone equal. That is how I never, ever allowed them to win ! It bugged them even more when I wouldn't respond to their mean ways.

What goes around DOES come around......that is really not vengeance......it is taking the high road and knowing that I have someone much higher watching out for me whose justice is fair. I don't have to fight any battles with these messed up people, they are fighting within themselves. That is why they are the way they are. It takes a lot of inner strength to hold your head up and allow them to wonder why they just can't conquer you. They are dysfunctional but that does not mean I have to allow them to affect my world.

I agree with Pageo here. Whether you think you yourself will cause their eventual downfall or a higher power will, doesn't matter. The fact is, by even thinking about the person, they have won because you are giving them space in your mind which they do not deserve. And they have won twice, because that space you have given them is a negative space, you are thinking negatively and wishing someone ill or being glad bad things have happened to them, when that space could be taken up with learning as pageo says, or with simply being grateful or enjoying good things in life. What happens to them and whether they 'get theirs' or not is irrelevant really, they are nothing and not worth bothering with. And what happens if nothing happens to them? What if they continue to live and prosper and do well in life? In any case, I don't think you should wish ill on a person. It is tempting, I am not a Christian now but I was brought up as one, and I do believe the best way is to turn the other cheek. It isn't easy at all and not even possible sometimes but I think it should be what we work towards. Do whatever you can to distance yourself from the person and keep them out of your mind and life. If you have to talk to them (e.g. you work together) keep it brief and civil, don't engage with their mind games.

Turn the other cheek is a good answer, albeit hard without supernatural intervention. I was also thinking about Matthew 5:44-47. Another thought I had about this is that we have no way of knowing what's really going on in person's life behind their front door. For all we know, they are already getting what we think they deserve, or worse. I know so many bullies (from light to heavy), if I didn't learn to ban them from my head, I would never be able to leave the house.

I dealt with one of those for four years. I loved my job, so I did my best to shrug it off. I began working for this company shortly after this person. I've always had a very good work ethic, but I am quiet and not much for socializing after hours. She, on the other hand, often went for drinks, dinner, etc. with supervisors from our department as well as others. Little "Miss Sunshine", as she was called, made sure to keep up her cutesy act as long as certain people were around but I dreaded days where I had to work a project alone with this girl! I watched her single others out as well. Anyone who disagreed with her, failed to do things precisely the way she did them, didn't "respect" her enough, or dared to call her on her abuse, was disposed of or quit because of her constant drama.Now, before you judge me for being a doormat, two of my co workers were fired for standing up to her and making a complaint. These people were excellent workers, very knowledgeable and never missed a day. They were trouble makers of course. How dare they accuse little miss sunshine of being sarcastic and insulting? Yes, I kept my mouth shut while she followed me around and belittled me for every move I made. I started asking her how she wanted things done just to keep her off me. Of course her reply was "You've only been here ----years, don't you know your job yet"?! (TSK-dramatic eye roll) Yes, I knew my job very well, having 15 years experience in the field. I'm sure anyone who is also a HSP will understand what happens when we are under a microscope, stressed and humiliated on almost a daily basis. We make stupid mistakes. She knew I was intimidated because, at 52, jobs are harder to come by. I had worked very hard to earn my raises and, she was confident I couldn't make anyone believe what she was doing anyway. What do you do, besides go home at the end of the day and cry? Over the past several months, my health began to deteriorate. There were days when I couldn't drag myself out of bed, let alone get in to work. I was suddenly let go without warning four weeks ago, by a superintendent who, in four years, had rarely spoken to me. The reason given? I had failed to call in my sick days.(False. Every absence was reported as required) Second reason? He was "Sick and tired of my disrespect and hostility towards ........" Little miss sunshine. I never once said a harsh word to her, or about her, and never in four years had any problem with any employee there. Needless to say, last week I got a call from a "reliable source", that sunshine had been keeping notebooks documenting my, and other employees sick days, days I did not call in(strange how my messages had all failed to record) and every "disrespectful comment" made by me , as well as several other co workers. Apparently, my direct supervisor had no problem with me, so miss sunshine took it upon herself to run to the superintendent and give her teary eyed reports on all of us horrid, mean people who were mistreating poor little her. I'm sorry, but there are some outright evil people out there who go to great lengths to manipulate others to get ahead. I turned the other cheek, and am now unemployed. Oh, and little miss sunshine just got promoted. I can't even tell you all how many times I've seen this same scenario, and I wonder how some of these employers can be so blind. I no longer fantasize about her being backed over by a dump truck, but all bullies at some point make a mistake and push that one person they shouldn't have. How do you let go of feelings of resentment, and betrayal over working your old bod to death for four years then being chucked in the gutter without so much as an opportunity to defend yourself?

I got fired from a lot of 9-5 jobs. Once, because I complained to the partners about the girl who sat right behind me, not working, and on the phone all day. It was a long time ago, so I don't remember all the details, but I remember that she seemed to be the one who was in control of the department, even though she was a secretary. I think I was having a hard time trying to do my job because of her, but no one in charge seemed to care so I was viewed as a trouble maker. It seemed really bizarre that this was allowed to go on. I eventually found out that this girl was able to pick up phone calls and forward them, but then she would stay on the line to listen in. She had business and personal information on everyone, including the bosses. The bosses didn't know why, but this girl owned them. They probably assumed she was in very tight with some top partner. When they fired me I let them know what she was doing, so they fired her too. Most work places are not concerned about fairness, so sometimes it turns into the worst case scenario, especially if the bully is a supervisor.

Dabar and Inap-----thanks so much for telling your stories....you are spot on with companies. Inap, your experience sounds a lot like mine. It proves that no matter how many times you turn the other cheek they just keep following along. A bully will never give up until they can get the best of a person, they love the challenge. But those bosses are also bullies because they allow it to go on. They talk a lot of schools but adult bullies learn at a young age for sure.

Lizzie----I do not EVER wish bad on anyone all I did was tell what happens to people when they treat others like that --- if not in this world when they pass away they find out really quick. If you were once a Christian then I am assuming you know that God is the final judge and nobody gets past him unless they repent and surrender to him. I am not a vengeful person and never will be.

Dabar-----I know what you mean "hate the sin but love the sinner"......that is certainly hard to do for all of us. Read 2 Timothy 4:14-15. It is interesting how Paul was able to put that in perspective. That is exactly how I feel about bullies. Yes----bullies are mean and are taking their hurt out on others.

" A bully will never give up until they can get the best of a person, they love the challenge."

I do not agree. Bullies target very certain kind of people. They do not like challenges nor more then pedophiles target children that they know will tell. Perpetrators and Bullies target specific kinds of people... funny I was just talking to some people about this the other day saying the very same thing out loud but nothing that is news.

Bullies are lazy and the prey on people that lack power chord connection and have low to no boundaries.

"Low to no boundaries" ?? ----- now that is a very broad statement and perception based by someone with no experience with bullies. Perhaps during the "ignore process" of bullies it may come across as no boundaries but that is part of the treatment I use toward bullies. They do not deserve my attention and when I "have" to deal with them I am so sweet and nice it drives them bonkers because they cannot get the best of me. If they think I have no boundaries -- let them -- they have sick perverted minds anyway. Bullies hate people that don't go with the flow, they do not understand a strong person that would ignore them, they want to push, push, push and be the controller and when they can't they will keep on trying.

Leave the pedophiles out of it they have nothing to do with bullies. How in the world does a pedophile know when a child will tell anyway---that makes no sense. Pedophiles will target any child they can, they are not picky-----sick as they are. You should find out what happens to them in jail from other inmates, not nice.

http://www.emilybully.com/targets.htm

Check out the list of how bullies select targets The last part goes into what bullies can not resists and quite a few of the statements mirror low boundaries like the one stating ... unable to say NO. I spoke to a woman this evening that has a hard time saying NO. Some of that on line dating with men having tantrums when she turns them down. Instead of just cut the chord despite the child like antics she pauses and searches for a nicer way to do it. In the mean time the men , cuz there are several, start up with verbal harassment. None of this would be happening if she just put a good solid NO out there and then acted on no rather then beating around the bush.

One of the points that I have had to learn about bullies is to be direct and steady. A boundary is telling the bully to get off the door step or that 911 is the next step ... depending on the bully. Killing with kindness is still giving attention. That is not a boundary.

Pedophiles like bullies are perpetrators. it is only a matter of degree.