I havent advice just a story of life experience..I had someone who came into my life a soulfriend..I smile if I was to call them a guardian angel because they did not fit the mould of one..they didnt take to many people..I dont know why but they decided to do everything to make my life easier to help carry my burdens ..they knew the right things to say..we was suddenly parted and I was devastated..it was very painful..I then got someone who appeared who use to leave songs ..they left one called yellow by coldplay and words of as someone goes someone else will appear..they went without a goodbye..I could fill many discussion boxes of this happeneing..with honesty I did think it would be a good idea if people didnt enter my life because it can be painful..but how I look at is..each person even some where its not been so good left something of them..a life experience..something very special however short..

I see it the same way, some of them are like guardian anglel, they somehow changed my life, and that's why i am so sad we can't be even friends...

I completely agree with you, but I am still stuck at should I still let people enter in my life ?
Beacause there are two problems :
- At the end it is always painfull and it never last long (for me)
- AND we know it won't work with them because people don't like HSP, I explain :
Most of the people come to me because they like me ( I never understood why...), I never go toward people (like my friend I quoted before, I didn't want to be even friend with her at the beginning), but they come to me, they invite me, I attract people, but after a while, people become uncomfortable with me because they don't understand me, and if you try to become real friends with them, to explain them how you feel and you want to know how they feel, they freak out !

People want social relationship but not friends, I want friends, i don't care about social relationships....

I don't care having 10 or 50 friends, I just want one.
I thought I got one, and it was not.

I know I can find one in the future, but right now, I am f*****g afraid to let someone enter in my life again ! I am even afraid of social relationships...

And I can't even imagine a love relationship !

afterwards I blamed myself for it happening.. many emotions probably some irrational thoughts that was silly..I even felt I was cursed as if I somehow brought pain..the pain I saw in their eyes on oure last time..I knew we wouldnt ever see each other again and so did they..I feel hesitant in having people in my life because I felt it will always be short term..the term push away because it will end in disaster..for you its still very raw and beig hsp we are affected very deeply..the soulfriend took me four years to get over..more to a place of coping of seeing they was with me for a reason..I dont why its painful but I will never forget them or the others.. a gift was past between us..it makes me who I am..take time and know youre not alone in what youre going through..hugs

Hi, Welcome to the group-so glad you found us!!

Its true that social interaction supports emotional wellness. Being HSP, we might have a little more work todo on compromising activities at times due to our sensitivities but nothing is impossible. If you want to be in optimum emotional health, realize that social isolation stands between you and it. Reach out to others. Join groups--to drum, meditate, read, paint, draw, whatever. Finding those communities of like minded individuals is your best bet to find those like yourself. Follow your passions what gives you joy: sports, hiking, ceramics…. take some classes, try some volunteer work- Spending time with emotionally healthy and positive people will uplift your spirits as do people who make you laugh.

According to Carin Rubenstein, Ph.D., a former associate editor of Psychology Today, and Philip Shaver, Ph.D, of the University of Denver, have observed: Being alone is not synonymous with loneliness. If people feel lonely, it has nothing to do with the number of people around them, but rather with their expectations of life and reactions to their environment. And those are risk factors you can do something about.
When people feel lonely, they generally react in one of two ways: "sad passivity" reaction, the person spends much of the time sleeping, eating, and crying. In a "creative solitude" reaction, the person overcomes loneliness through reading, listening to music, working on a hobby, studying, writing, or playing a musical instrument.
Loneliness is often a synonym for boredom. People who spend their time creatively when alone are learning to deal with solitude. In the process, they begin to feel more calm, creative and happy.
You must be secure with yourself before you can find contentment in solitude, trouble is, we often grow up in the constant company of others and come to depend on them for our happiness. Being HSP, our self-confidence is important to maintain but we don't need others to keep us happy…small doses of social interaction is enough to boost our spirits at times when we feel we need outside stimulation.
People in touch with their inner selves have a true sense of identity, a feeling of security in knowing who they really are…And by knowing their true selves, they can teach their outer selves how to better interact with others. People who are loving--who completely accept themselves and others--can be happy and content whether in a crowd of people or quietly at home by themselves. Caring: antidote to loneliness. Hugs...

I can understand how it feels, that is why I avoid social relationships because I worry that I will end up hurt, broken and unable to recover. I often feel like no-one understands me.
It's like HSP's have a nervous system that is more sensitive than anyone else's and is more intense. It can be both a blessing and a curse.

If i take my example, I started to do more and more sport, but it didn't help !
As soon as you stop it, you think again !
Then I started to work a lot, and the result is I am very tired.

I ame hypr emotive (I am usually very emotive but not hyper emotive) for six months now, and sometimes simple things as listening to music is too strong for me. So many feelings at the same time, i thought I would become crazy.
So doing something new is frightening, I like so much being alone and kalm. I know in the future I will change it and try new things as you advice but right now, it's not possible. I am tired of it actually ! Really, I sleep so easily (but bad sleep so when I wake up I am still tired...)


When I read people in this group, I completely recognize myself, and it helps to understand I am not the only one, but it still difficult and I still wonder what did we do to the hell to get this ?
I completely disagree on it's a blessing, for me it's a curse (yes i can easily be happy just by hearing things) but most of the time i am sad or lonely !

I was looking in the cupboard ..needed a sweet fix..nothing was there..no biscuits..chocolate..then I heard a tune and went yes there is a God..ran outside in my slippers ..I asked for a large icecream ..I laughed to the person and said about my cupboard search and looking at him said if you was an angel you dont quite fit an image of one..he replied youd be surprised..person behind me heard what I was saying..my sense of humour even I wonder sometimes) they was lauging and then said angel mmm youve put youre prices up..I guess we can pay a high price..to myself was it worth it..the ice cream band aid..the sugar rush..probably not..but the smiles were..youre probably reading this and thinking what on earth has this got to do with me...it hasnt really..for myself it took alot of getting to a place of coping..I hope you can to..

Hi nor007,

there is answers in ordinary, when you see here you will see that we are anything but ordinary, yet all of us are doing extraordinary through ordinary. The universe is listening to every single thought we possess and guess what, all we believe.. all good things are truer the less they are affirmed.. the more truer they are. As an HSP, we are the future of human race. If you see sign in everything .. and believe that everything has a meaning than there is unmistakable clarity right there to affirm that we believe deeply, irrespective of our background. It all is mirror of good and love, beauty, innocence drives to whole universe. Imagine feeling lonely, when god is more beautiful but still alike us at heart. So I will say, is catch the signs, study the world deeply in any form : art, science, music, writing : it all leads to same music and dance of light that we all feel deepest and are moved by. It will lead us to what is best for us in every moment. If you see carefully, all life is leading us to most joyful and beautiful world for ourselves and world at same time. This is just an age where intellect is considered more important than love and heart. But we are loved unconditionally and if you just hold patience when you do your best, a miracle is waiting for you down the corner and it will happen through most strangest means :)

@justachildofgod; You almost made me cry !

You are right, completely, but where is our happiness in all of that ?

My friend told me yesterday she was quiting her job and coming back to Paris.

I am almost crying every evening because of screwing up this relationship, I am now so sad it will definitely ends like that.
I don't know how I can be so comfortable and so sad at the same time, and not even depressed.

I don't know how you are working but me, when feelings are too strong they just stop. Which means I don't feel anything anymore.
So, it is hard to go forward and to solve issues.

I would love to be what you just described but reality is I am always on the edge.

If I love, I can die for It
If I hate, I just want to hurt

There are no middle, when I feel I am overwhelmed, or I don't feel at all.

I am angry to stand up every morning, and as soon as I am out I just feel happy for nothing.

If I do not think about what makes me sad, I am not sad, If I don't think, i don't feel.


So as long as I don't think about my friend, I don't feel sad, but as soon as i think about it, I am sad and if it crossed my mind, I force myself to focus on something else very fast.

I am interested in everything ! I love to learn !

I have to know eveything, i never go too much deep in a subject, but I have to know how everything work, if I see something I don't know I want to know how it works.

So I don't want to be involved in something specific (I have difficulties to focus on the same thing long enough to become a specialist in a specific matter, after a while I am not interested, I need something new)

I used to be very interested in I.T., but I stopped because it was taking too much time.

My passion is series and movies : It is a huge part of my life.
I watch a lot of series and movies, and I keep updated about new series.
The reason of that is the feelings you feel watching a good movie or a serie are incredible.
I prefer series because characters are built and we are tied to them.

One of my dream is to make my own movie ! One day ... But I am not artistic at all, so I don't think I will succeed as I am unable to write or make a movie.

I think there are no need to say I love romantic comedies !
It is very rare I watch drama and horror movies are too much silly for me.

Except this, yes I like to go to museum to learn and watch some arts, but it is not my thing.

Music is too strong for me (feelings become unstable with music), I like very much photography or Landscape paintings, but I am unable to understand modern art.

For now, I am still a bit lost, because I can read other HSP and almost all of them seem to be creative and artistic, I am not.
I am when I am falling asleep, that's all.