Yes it is an issue but think about it-can you imagine two peoplew being HSP. It would be constant stress

Difficult question. Married to a Non-HSP can be hell and eventually can lead to two separate lives that run concurrently side by side but not together. As Flash pointed out two HSPs can be devastating as well and run each other emotionally ragged. So, what is the solution, a monestary? I pass on that.
Personally I would prefer someone who is HSP inclined but with a good common sense, intelligence and love as in kindness and the desire to at least try and understand where the other is comming from. Does this sound like HSP? I don't know I believe it can be found in a Non-HSP as well or Low-HSP. Personally, I gave up on relationships and since I have no more expectations regarding that I feel calmer though yes, there can be times of lonliness, admitted.

If you want to totally re-invent love because its not working for you

try this guy. Reading a lot on him, h He is radical. But listen to full video. 7 minutes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OQzaow_sjU&feature=related

I would think two HSP would get along quite well and understand each other. How could they not, they could almost read each other's minds LOL. Seriously, being in a relationship is hard work and Bennu I can completely understand how you feel----I think I am a loner in some ways and would do better that way. I could choose to have friends or not --- stay at home alone and just enjoy anything and everything. It sounds so selfish sometimes to me when I think this but I truly believe some of us are just better off alone. I am not sure I would get lonesome, because then I would go out and be with people. I love talking to stangers and have learned so much from them.

@ Flash: I listened to te whole video and yes it was very interesting and made sense. Something so simple yet so hard to do at times, I guess. Maybe it went towards inconditional love a little, a term that has been a bit overused and abused by many nowadays. thanks for sharing that, I appreciate that.

@ bluesapphire, I agree and feel similar. I should have specified and said I gave up on romantic relationships, not ALL. Certainly I still go out and mingle and have fun with friends if I am inclined to do so and yet as you mentioned I am perfectly content alone at home as well.

I think it all boils down to if each of you respect the other, no matter the differences, then their is a chance, whether or not you both are HSP or not, I do think opposites attract and complement each other, sure things can be disagreed on but if you agree to disagree then their is a chance I think

I believe it is unrealistic to hope that an HSP can find another HSP to love, marry, that may never happen, the best thing I think is to find someone who respects the HSP in you, and allows you to be you. I think that two people irregardless of what or who they are should take time to know each other before making a commitment, should really spend time learning about each other, then decide if they are willing to accept each other. In many ways I think the differences make for an interesting match! And two HSP's can be good too, they will have that unspoken understanding. I think any two people who truly care, love one another can have a good relationship, marriage

Ha ha I messed up, after I wrote this I realized I should have wrote
REGARDLESS, instead of irregardless

and THERE instead of their

why do I care?
why am I correcting myself?
Because I can, that's why-I want to.

I am a bookworm, read books a lot, read words, and sometimes know words by how they look but not how they sound, or are used

If I ever get married the man I marry will have to accept the worry wart in me! Will have to accpeth the silly things I do, whether he is HSP or not!
LOL

ACCPETH?

LOL I am going to eat lunch

Again, I think anyone can marry, be happy, it is all about acceptance, allowing each to be who they are, respect, forgiveness, caring, LOVE

Just my humble opinion

Dear Bookworm, I mistype as well, I will not correct it anymore because people will figure it out and if not they can always ask. We are often in a rush and our fingers just do not cooperate as well as we need them to. It does not matter and to those where it does matter they shouldn't matter to us. Don't worry and don't sweat the small stuff, 'cause that is what it is. I wrote inconditional love meant unconditional I think everyone knows so push me down and drag me through a trough of slob or just accept it. we make mistakes, we are human and we are real.

LOL Bennu that was so funny what you wrote, and very true, we ARE human, are real. Yeah I do tend to sweat that small stuff which leaves me exhausted. i worry too much, wonder if I should correct something, feel inadequate, foolish. Which is a huge waste of time, I know. I seem to have wasted many moments worrying, when it just didn't matter. I am slowly realizing that, forget sometimes, but then a comment like you made makes it clear. I don't want to waste my time worrying too much, it serves no purpose, a little worry is necessary, as far as survival goes, but too much worry, does nothing but produce more anxiety, which I certainly do not need more of.

Thanks for that!

Book Worm ( you know me well)...Here's a little thought on worry : Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything.

To me being HSP or not being HSP in a marriage is not the answer, but it takes total respect and kindness towards each other's thoughts and feelings. An excerpt from my e-book ( Power of Positivity), talks about building kindness :

"A strong marriage is the result of kindness, simple kindness. It seems so elementary and yet so many find it elusive. A gentle word, an inquiring look, a surprising hug...they did wonders for myself and Linda. And the joy of it all is that it is so very fun to do! These are not painful, difficult actions. Kindness is so easy and the rewards are so great, I am amazed I do not see it more often. I remain convinced of the healing and strengthening power of kindness is one answer to the stability of marriage and ultimately my bipolar disorder. The continuing fulfilment of our marriage works like an ever-developing globe to protect our flame. Such faithfulness allows us the freedom to share fully in each other’s lives. And now I can continue to see a trend here of 'choice’ toward positive thinking in my life. It truly was a 'choice’ that had to be. Bipolar Disorder is difficult enough to deal with, but living a married life without kondness and positive thoughts to keep the negative symptoms of bipolar at bay, can be insurmountable."

My husband is sensitive in some ways but nothing compared to me. He understands but not completely. He knows me enough that when certain situations come up or he sees something that he knows is going to upset me, he is aware that "here we go ... this is going to be a problem". He knows most of my triggers & he knows I don't recover quickly.

Eyestwo, I'm glad you have Linda & I agree that kindness goes a long way.

Can someone explain the word "kindness" ---- seems in this day and age everyone sees it in different ways.

bluesapphire,

Good question. I'm not sure what the Dictionary says but to me "kindness" means ...

gentleness
respect
honor

I think it's the "Golden Rule" ... "Treat other people the way you would want to be treated"

I am an HSP that also has multiple chemical sensitivities and many other health issues. I am married (40 years) to a man who made me feel very special in the courtship days, so caring a loving and wanting to "take care of me".....madly in love. Ergo lies the problem. When two people are in love, it's very hard to be "objective" and "know each other well". It wasn't long after the marriage that he dropped all the wonderful stuff and simply did what he wanted....don't get me wrong, we still had good times, etc., but much fighting ensued....I kept trying to find the guy I thought I married, and he just wanted to basically get on with life, and have all the sex he wanted. Fast forward to the present. He is very frustrated with the chemical sensitivties....he is a major denial person when it comes to any illnesses (it's like God played a cruel trick here with us) and he hates that our "lives were ruined" when I became so terribly ill and have to live a much more limited life. I lost my teaching job, and the list goes on. So, I guess now I am "flawed", I don't know. He is as far from HSP as you can find. And he just doesn't get my emotional state and how hurt I get over things. So, frankly, I am living proof that marrying someone who basically is not a sympathetic person, has their emotions entirely locked up, chokes on having to apologize for something, etc., is NOT a good idea. Do I love him? Yes, I still do. Perhaps more out of habit, I can't really say. Does he love me? I'm not sure anymore. I think we are both disappointed with our relationship, for different reasons. Will it get better somehow? I sure hope so, but I think only by the grace of God. So who should an HSP marry.......I would wager not another HSP......too much hurt flying around......but possibly a person who still can sympathize and tolerate......and definitely be sure they love you to a very deep depth before putting that ring on your finger.

Beckeroo