Highly Sensitive People HSP Community Group

The highly sensitive person (or HSP) is someone who cares deeply about everything ... feels emotions with great intensity ... is highly conscientious ... has a rich and complex inner life ... is very intuitive ... is often creative in a variety of ways... is easily overwhelmed and/or overstimulated. A HSP needs lots of quiet time,space, and freedom. If this sounds...

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azure111 06/01/2016

Hi-Apology for long email

Do any of you HSP's feel ignored or invisible in a group? I always seem to get overlooked or the others do not seem to pay notice to me or hear what i'm saying. The louder people in the group i.e extroverts, and then semi extroverts seem to just dominate.

I will give you an example. We were all sitting in a room today at work on work break.It's a very small intimate room. One of the semi extrovert guys passed his phone around to show a picture of himself in an audition situation. It got half way and then some of the girls got up and had a look. I asked twice if i could take a look, but the girls and guys just didn't seem to be listening. They were so busy talking at a high volume about themselves and the photo. I was only a foot away from them! Anyway, i got up to take the phone and before i could, it was passed back to the guy whose phone it was. He carried on talking to another girl when i asked if i could have a quick look.It felt a bit embarrassing for me.

Like many HSP's i have a soft gentle voice, but it's at a good balanced volume. They didn't do it deliberately and they are not mean, i just feel many people are not 'tuned in' gentle people.

Also, i'm not sure if part of this is the industry i work in and the working class city i am in, which can be insensitive at times(i'm a model/actor) but i have noticed this invisible feel generally. It can get quite hurtful and upsetting. I notice that people who are sensitive seem to pick up my ques more, connect and tune in to me.

Any shared experiences would be great or general thoughts. Thanks.

nor007 06/04/2016

I know very well that kind of situation.

I always thought people are so selfish, they only care about them.

I think they are not interesting people.

As I think this way, when an event of that kind happen, I just don't care. Either I am seen as someone who don't care of the person speaking either the person is really selfish. When the person is not selfish, she will tell you take a look at the picture.

That kind of people just want to seem interesting.

That's another good lesson of life: be more selfish.
Don't expect from someone else to do what you want, if you really want to see the picture just get your voice stronger.

cachetteen1 06/04/2016

yeah, I have a low voice too, ppl often ask me to repeat myself- when in a group setting, if u have a question u must project yourself- when in Rome mentality, these are coworkers, not best friends/ intimate ppl- so project your voice, your movement, say ppls names- that's the #1 rule- smile- ppl notice u more when u smile, if u said hey Joe can I see the pic? then u will see it, if u are on the outskirts and all the voultures are pecking at the crumbs, u have to elbow your space in there too. (this would be exhausting in a family or gf bf relationship, but workers, ah, u punch in u punch out, u might as well speak up- and if u cant- smile and use names, ppl will quiet down just to hear u, trust me ;) xoxo

Aria 07/08/2016

I notice that when I am in a group where the people have a rapport or a resonance, and I do not, then I can get ignored. Usually they share the same conversational cadence, the same energy, and the same level of consciousness. One area that we differ, however, is that I generally don't care about the topic. I find the conversation tedious/boring because I am not resonant with the group. Are you sure you really wanted to see that pic?

bearchain 07/09/2016

@azure111: I am unable to fit into a group too (even for cyber chatline). I feel overwhelmed when there's too many conversation at the same time. When I "chat" a bit, I feel myself totally out of picture. Moreover, I'm too sensitive and able to read in between the lines. I can sense that the other party is unhappy with me. The worst part is whatever I sense, I can't verify directly with the person. I tried to clarify in the past, but the reply I received is, "no, you are over sensitive." I feel tired. Knowing what happen, yet not able to act on it. I tried to ignore my feeling but the more I suppress, the more I feel frustrated.

Heartprint 08/20/2016

I have been in a similar situation when you feel like you're in a room filled with people that speak a different language than you do.
It must be extremely difficult when you're in a room with people that have an attitude like "look at me look how awesome I look" in your line of work you're around that a lot it must be difficult. It's sad that most people are in tune with their own feelings or wants vs the HSP tuned to feeling of others so we tend to feel awkward when others don't show the same acknowledgement that you would have given them .
For me this is my biggest #struggle in fitting in

DarknessEmbraced 12/12/2016

I also have a soft voice and have often been asked to speak up or repeat myself. I am very quiet in large groups and feel like I don't fit in. I prefer small groups where I know everyone or am at least comfortable. I am usually the quietest in the group.

Lvflower 08/25/2017

I just recently discovered HSP, and this is exactly how I feel. For years I felt very invisible, but a few years ago I realized like Aria, that I wasn't really interested in the conversation and it was actually OK to stand back and observe instead.

Kindmirrow 09/21/2017

If someone isn't noticing you are there you can gently touch them. I am guessing also that these people though seeming to be "obtuse" may not be feeling comfortable with the emotions you are emanating. Vulnerability, insecurity lack of self-confidence -- we all have but most want to forget.

azure111 09/23/2017

@kindmorrow--nasty underhanded comment. What are you doing on a HSP forum? You are not a hsp, go away and do your harm elsewhere. You are the kind of people that hsps’s are always trying to avoid like the plague.

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