Highly Sensitive People HSP Community Group
The highly sensitive person (or HSP) is someone who cares deeply about everything ... feels emotions with great intensity ... is highly conscientious ... has a rich and complex inner life ... is very intuitive ... is often creative in a variety of ways... is easily overwhelmed and/or overstimulated. A HSP needs lots of quiet time,space, and freedom. If this sounds...
Dear Friends out there,
I am so tired, after 37 years, of dealing with the same old crap of not being appreciated. I need some suggestions on how to find healthier friends.
I think my higher power/God was definitely trying to tell me something the past two days when one "friend" who I went out with yesterday reamed me out when I called her after going out to the movies for telling her I forgot to wish her a Happy New Year while we were out. After she was yelling and ranting through the phone saying "f This" and " F That", I realized that I deserved better and so I tried to speak up for myself but it did not work so I hung up.
Then, I had another neighbor/friend who I used to be close to but then forgave her and then have forgiven her numerous times for her being hurtful...and we went out to lunch and I told her that I have chronic Bursitis and Shoulder pain and she said "I think you just create this stuff and make it up in your head." Add to this not being or feeling acknowledged by my family, and just generally having my selfhood denied by everyone around me, I am wondering how to meet soem new and healthier people...I am a very gifted writer and I had not written for two years b/c of my illness and I then went into remission from OVER 45 URINARY INFECTIONS and having chronic pelvic pain.
Does anyone have any suggestions for people who truly appreciate me and do not try to emotionally manipulate me b/c they cannot understand me? Or b/c they don't try to?
Love and Greetings and Peace in the New Year,
Rebekah
I am so tired, after 37 years, of dealing with the same old crap of not being appreciated. I need some suggestions on how to find healthier friends.
I think my higher power/God was definitely trying to tell me something the past two days when one "friend" who I went out with yesterday reamed me out when I called her after going out to the movies for telling her I forgot to wish her a Happy New Year while we were out. After she was yelling and ranting through the phone saying "f This" and " F That", I realized that I deserved better and so I tried to speak up for myself but it did not work so I hung up.
Then, I had another neighbor/friend who I used to be close to but then forgave her and then have forgiven her numerous times for her being hurtful...and we went out to lunch and I told her that I have chronic Bursitis and Shoulder pain and she said "I think you just create this stuff and make it up in your head." Add to this not being or feeling acknowledged by my family, and just generally having my selfhood denied by everyone around me, I am wondering how to meet soem new and healthier people...I am a very gifted writer and I had not written for two years b/c of my illness and I then went into remission from OVER 45 URINARY INFECTIONS and having chronic pelvic pain.
Does anyone have any suggestions for people who truly appreciate me and do not try to emotionally manipulate me b/c they cannot understand me? Or b/c they don't try to?
Love and Greetings and Peace in the New Year,
Rebekah
Sorry you haven't written in so long. I write too and haven't done much writing in the past couple of years either. I DO have a story group here on DS if you'd like to join up. It's not great literature or anything but it is fun.
Ah, your story sounds also like mine. First off, if you have chronic bursitis and shoulder pain - get it looked at and taken care of!!! I had surgery for this and it's no fun. Take care of yourself FIRST... You hurt physically (and emotionally) when people disregard what you say and do not care to hear about your complaints but they are more than willing to tell you theirs. And, as an HSP, I can bet you sat and listened to plenty of other people's complaints about aches and pains, while having your concerns, etc., discounted, pushed-aside or just having been told by someone else that they don't care about your problems - only their own. Been there, done that. YOU COME FIRST.
Those two people who you call 'friends' - drop them. Don't call them, etc. You need to heal. You need to be alone to 're-energize.' These two sound exactly like energy vampires who are sucking you dry and only care about themselves. You MATTER AND YOU COUNT. Your priority is to yourself.
Get your creative pen out again and start writing, even if it is just journaling. Do this for yourself! Grab a book - read! Sit and contemplate the Universe if you have to - just do it!!!!!!
This is a new year - a year of New Beginnings! Appreciate yourself FIRST!!!!
Wow, I really wrote this for you - almost like I was channeling a message for you!
You have found a Home here with our Group. Welcome!!!!! Don't be afraid to post and ask questions, we are all here to help one another. We understand what it's like to be HSP.
I am hoping to have the time, energy and ability to try out some new and old forgotten hobbies/activities over the coming year. Along the way, I am hopeful to find some new friends.
I think sometimes we forget that just like a romantic relationship, we need to take friendships slowly and carefully, and to watch out for our own boundaries and red flags in others' behavior. There is a big difference between people being human and us giving them the benefit of the doubt and giving them chance after chance after chance until we are completely drained.
like maybe support groups, for your health and pain, or classes in what you are interested in.
I am dealing with the exact thing-how to find healthier friends that can be a good positive thing.
Good luck and peace!
I have said it more than once and that is I would rather be alone and have no friends than have 'friends' like that.
I think now that you recognise that you deserve healthier friends in your life your paths will somehow cross with the people that you desire through you exploring new interests or rekindling old ones such as your writing.
As for the health issues. So sorry you have been dealing with all of that. And I am glad you are in remission. I am queen of arthritis, bursitis and bunch of other crap.
After having x-rays and MRI. It was revealed that I have a tear in my shoulder and arthritis. I am on prescribed pain meds for osteoarthritis, I have poly arthritis. I also take turmeric capsules which is a natural anti-inflammatory and also horsetail (silica) beneficial for muscle repair and nourishes cartilage. Something you may want to check out. Do you take probiotics? Well worth taking. No doubt will help with the UTI's and probably need to restore friendly bacteria lost due to a lot of treatment of antibiotics.
I hope things improve for you and you find 2011 treats you well, new friends, new lifestyle and you remain UTI free and in remission.