I have know someone for 15 years whom has recently come back into my life. Back then, she was wild and crazy and now, she is even wilder and crazier. She has two young children and I feel that she behaves in a morally questionable way while they are at home with her. My hunch is also that she is quite narcissistic and that she will manipulate and use people. At the same time, she just admitted to me that she is quite depressed and is crying out for help. She told me that she behaves as she does to "fill the holes." I am not sure if she was being genuine when she said this or if she just wanted to see my reaction and play off of the type of person I am--someone who likes to help people. She told me that she would like to find a therapist and I told her I would help her find one. She also seems interested in continuing the friendship and I feel very nervous about this. One reason is because I think the only role I could play with her is that of "the rescuer." I have done this in the past and have gotten hurt and depleted. Second, part of me is attracted to the idea of being a "bad girl." I guess its my shadow self. Being a highly conscientious person with OCD, I have always been a people pleaser and have tried to do the right thing and have felt guilty if I did something even slightly wrong. This person represents freedom from that as well as sexual freedom, which I feel I have never fully experienced. I worry that she could influence me in the wrong way and I could get in trouble. This is because I don't trust myself because I am a people pleaser and I want others to like me.
But from experience, I think I may only be wasting my time with her. At the same time, part of me empathizes with her and wants to help her. I seem to be drawn to people who need help and people who need help seem to be drawn to me.
How do I let her down easy? Should I giver her a therapist reference and then make excuses that I'm busy?