Yes, I am the same way. I keep trying to remind myself that it's O.K. to be "not perfect".

Obviously no one is perfect.

Yes I agree. I am my worst own critic nobody can make me feel as bad as I can make myself worse then anybody ever could. I very seldom let myself see the positive side of myself and that in itself is not good so I try to focus on better things but I must admit it isn't easy.

ya im like this all the time

extremely hard on myself, but i have learned to lighten up. but it angers me how full of faults others are, but they are perfectly ok with themselves. I know that doesn't sound nice, but its true. or if i'm being critical of myself how someone will jump right in and agree, rather than try an uplift me. As if they were better, when i know they are not.

I know where this feeling comes from.

It comes from the viewpoint of orienting yourself on other peoples' standards. I, like you, did not find out about this all by myself. Somebody who studied psychology had to demonstrate it to me.

I found that the roots in this usually come from over-protective, ever-watchful, demanding parents who loved you so much, they only wanted the best for you. However in this myoptic sense of what's best, they made all the decisions of what is best for you, because they forgot to consider what you thought is best for you. In the name of love they set standards for you that sometimes you achieved, but when you didn't they were embarassed, angry and disappointed with you. In the end that carefully taught you that you would never be completely good enough to make your parents happy. And if you can't make your parents happy, who can you make happy?

This is not as unique as it sounds, because it was the common good parenting model from 1940-1990, and in many cases it is still being practiced today. "Daddy knows best" "Listen to your mother". This works well until a child is about 10 years old, but many parents simply cannot stop, and continue to practice these old child-raising habits when their children are well over thirty and have their own children.

The problem is that if you don't recognise it for what it is - an unconscious form of manipulation - it continues to make you a hyper-critical adult, and eventually a parent just like your mom or dad.

This doesn't automatically sink in when you read what I wrote here. It takes a while to sort it out, because the first reaction everybody has is "How presumptious! I AM NOT AT ALL LIKE my mom/dad! How dare you!"

But when you think about this concept for quite a while, and ask yourself why some things around you bother you so much, some of the things in your environment might make more sense to you.

Example: When I go grocery shopping, I hate standing in line at the check-out counter. Inevitablly there is always a young Turkish mother in line with two small, rambunctious children, who inevitably see those fancy bright labelled candy treats begging to be bought. And inevitably their mother says 'No'. So what happens next? The children start crying. Problem is though, typically Turkish children don't simply whimper or cry. They scream at the top of their lungs, kick and hit, and cause a temper tantrum, where you would think they were going to have their arms or legs cut off in the next second. And their mothers simply ignore them.

I used to feel as follows: first slightly shocked and embarassed for the mother, then annoyed, and then downright angry. And why did I feel angry? Because I was thinking, "And she calls herself a mother?! Why doesn't she discipline her children? How can she let them scream like that? Are those the kids who are going to paying for my pension one day? Can't she teach them how to behave themselves in public?"

And one day, I asked myself, "Why does this make you feel angry?" I could understand that the noise level was making me feel anxious, but why did it make me feel angry?

It was because I did what those Turkish kids did once - and only once. And my mother was embarassed. She took me out of the store, spanked me hard, and put me in the hot, parked un-air-conditioned car that was about 100°F inside. I had to wait in this oven for about a half hour, before she finished shopping and came outside. Then when I got home, she told me dad all about it, who became embarassed and angry, and he spanked me again, too.

It was a little trauma. But it was enough to teach me that if I feel angry because I did not get what I wanted then I need to be punished, and eventually it made me hard on myself. Whenever I become angry with myself because I didn't get what I want, then I punish myself, just like the supermarket incident all over again.

I am not the only child who was severely punished for acting up in public. Every "good" child in my generation is pretty much the same way. That's the main reason that psychologists always request you, "Tell me about your childhood". I can't think of a single person who really want's to revisit these minor trauma incidences again, but there is a specific reason for it.

There is a good book to help you think about breaking this age-old parenting scheme under this link:

http://www.controllingparents.com

It might help teach you how to stop being so judgemental and harsh on yourself, because it is a learned behaviour.

I am the same way and my former boss used to always tell me to stop kicking myself in the butt!