dreamyHope,
I know feelings can over-lap. Sometimes I feel very sad about something & then I feel angry at whatever or whoever is "making" me feel sad.

Example: I feel broken hearted that my daughter moved so far away & I also feel some anger towards her for choosing to live so far away.

I keep my anger in so it's probably not what you are feeling at all. I just thought I'd share this with you. I do know that our feelings can be confusing.

I have had this happen to me also. What I have found is that I would get to this point when I knew that there was some sort of 'shift' occurring within me. It was almost like the 'assertive' part of me was finally coming forward and emerging from within me - that Change was occurring whether I realized it or not and I was becoming stronger with my ability to handle what was happening to me externally, etc. And, I was becoming more and more able to let others know exactly how I was feeling about what was going on. I do know that some people suddenly didn't like the 'new' me - they were so used to being able to use me as a doormat, sponge, that they suddenly felt threatened because they could no longer dominate me. Strange - sometimes it would take a very long time to happen and for me to adjust to a new way of thinking, reacting, etc. I would ponder this over-and-over in my head. In a way I really liked my new way of being but I still struggled with the reality of this 'new' me. I would still worry that I said the wrong thing or did the wrong thing - but for whom? Suddenly these other people were threatened - I couldn't help that. I had to be me - even if it was new for me. I felt powerful but, at the same time, still helpless and scared inside. I walked away from certain people because I knew they were toxic to me and I needed love, understanding, acceptance - not strife. I had to come first now.

You mention that you are getting 'furious/angry' - that's the sign of change because, in the past, you would probably have just become annoyed and swallowed that feeling and then continued to let others trample your feelings and/or run all over you emotionally, etc. I think that it is anger at others; but most importantly, at yourself because you have had enough - the teapot/kettle is 'starting to whistle' and the steam has to be blown off. Only you just don't understand this shift yet and how to process it. Be gentle with yourself - you are OK. You will come through this and you will be stronger - stronger than you ever thought you could be.

I would call it my 'wake-up' call. Kind of like - "Wake up, you can't continue this old behavior....." A lot of times, it took quite a while to get used to new feelings and reactions. I still have to contend with the way an old feeling would surface but I seem to be better at not allowing that to over-ride my needs and wants anymore. It's still hard though. Does this make sense to you about what you are feeling now? I hope I helped you a little bit here.

I can totally relate to this feeling. I used to be so much more accepting of others behavior. Now I have to bridle my tongue to keep from being to outspoken or else giving MY opinion of something when I was not asked. It is quite an adjustment when a HSP gets to this point because IMO they are in some ways trying finding a new feeling within that is errupting. Not that it is bad, just that it is different and for me it took some adjusting to get used to it.

Reminds me kind of like getting on those old weight scales with the bar and you are adjusting it to get your weight and the bar keeps moving until finally it balances out. That is pretty much how I had to work with this new character trait within me. I had to be patient with myself and go slow -- finally I could feel myself gaining better control over it. Once I did this it became easier to pull back the rope when I could feel myself wanting blow my top and over-react to something that was trivial in nature.

Thank you Janvier and cryingbehindmysmile.
Yea, as cryingbehindmysmile said, this is exactly what's happening to me. I am not accepting that others keep on trampling on me any more. The reason that explains this retaliating behaviour in me.
It's strange, but you feel some kind of peace when you let yourself loose and expresses yourself justifiably.
You do not feel the need to apologise when you know you have been right and when the other person has only been using and taking advantage of your kindness.
Earlier, I would do everything to please everyone, avoid hurting the other individual but now when adopting a kind of bold stance, it actually helps keeping these kind of people away. I still do not know why people are like this. Why do they have to take advantage of your kindness to such an extent that you yourself then despise the fact why you have to be kind?
Weird people out there, I must say. If they want to be like this, let them be.
If I have to adopt such strong and rebellious behaviour, I will but I will not let others play with me around.
All said, I believe in peace and kindness.
Thanks for such great words my friends, really it helps lessen the confusion.

dreamyhope: I have had this occur in my behavior of late and before. I attribute some of the change due to 'menopause.' Most of the time I hide how I really feel. Then it causes depression and anxiety. I hope I don't offend anyone, but medication has greatly improved my outlook on life and how I see and feel things.

Dear RosePark, I presume the medication is for menopause, right? I also, want to revert back to my original personality, rather calm and understanding. I usually do not pounce on people like this, I give them a fair chance at first, then when it surpasses the limit, well they just deserve it.
I guess, I am just stress about college stuffs and all, and that will surely get back into place, I hope.
Next week, I'll be going to tai-chi class, this will be my first attempt to attain peace and a calm life, lol.
I really appreciate all the answers and thank you a lot people. I know now, whenever I am alone, you will be with me, eradicating my loneliness.
Loves to all :)

If you tremble with indignation at every injustice then you are a comrade of mine......Quote by Ernesto Che Guevara. I get angry nearly every day and that keeps me moving forward and thinking on my feet. I live in a place where there were a lot of pyramids, still some left in Mexico, and find highly empathic people using their powers criminally and the opposite spectrum of people who do good. I feel at /home here and just bought my first house. I don't m/ind doing battle.

I am going through this right now. Really unable to keep my temper and I feel angry often and these things are very uncharacteristic of me.

I guess sometimes enough is enough.

There can be years of giving of encouraging and hanging in there, being understanding and supportive but when nothing comes your way, gets appreciated or worse put down change is a given.

Sometimes situations occur where silence cannot and must not be kept, I agree, mirto. As HSPs our inner soul life is very colorful anyways so I assume reactions and feelings on the both ends will be as well.

I do get angrier now as well, more so than I used to, I often fear that I got bitter - I hope not.

Dreamyhope thanks for bring up this important topic, and really insightful replies above aswell.

I think HSPs are in a tough place with this one because logically we:
a) perceive situations in a different way e.g. if someone upsets us it stays with us for longer
b) we are likely to consider the emotions of the person who has upset us e.g. maybe I shouldn't say anything because it might make this awkward between us
c) we also feel anger and desperately want to assert ourselves?

So the combination of all those things can make life quite frustrating at times! I'm a doctor on a ward and today lots of staff were arguing and one person made a very sarcastic comment to me. I felt outraged at the lack of mutual respect but I said nothing, and why?! I got annoyed with my boyfriend on skype about 5 minutes ago because he yawned while I was talking and I cut the call off before losing my temper.

Maybe it is just me, but i feel we have a cocktail of emotions that are difficult to express because we consider other people's feelings, sometimes/often more than we consider our own.

Wow lozzed - you hit the nail right on the head with your post. Your last paragraph -" Maybe it is just me, but i feel we have a cocktail of emotions that are difficult to express because we consider other people's feelings, sometimes/often more than we consider our own." - That was what I always seemed to do. I was more concerned with everyone else's emotions than I was with my own. And, my emotions got smashed and trivialized by the other person or persons because their problem was 'paramount' or more important. And boy did I pay a heavy price because I not only had to deal with their problems/emotions but also mine which eventually did surface over the whole event Whoa!!! I was left 'Reeling.'

How do you handle patient's emotions, staff's emotions, etc., along with you own? Wow!

I just found an online article that pertains, somewhat, to this topic. I think you will find it interesting. Here is the link -

http://talentdevelop.com/952/what-are-some-challenges-of-being-a-highly-sensitive-person/

Here is another link. It is actually 'Part 2' but you can access 'Part 1' from it.

http://thereflectiveself.com/2010/12/30/the-highly-sensitive-person-part-2/

Hi cryingbehindmysmile,

I feel that everyone here hits the nail on the head, probably because I'm still not used to so many people speaking my HSP language and understanding me! Your situation certainly sounds common in an HSP sense...you put others first and ended up wishing you hadn't, Isn't it strange that we know that what we are doing is a mistake, and yet we carry on doing it....and then we regret it.

I definitely have improved at putting my emotions first. In answer to your question about handling emotions as a doctor....you can imagine, I have patients, nurses, relatives, angry people on the phone, my family at home and then me!

I'm afraid my answer may not be satisfactory/heart-warming but the only way I have learnt to let other people's emotions bounce off me is by being cynical. So if I hear people on the ward moaning all day and being negative I put it down to them being institutionalised. If a patient is unhappy with a decision I make I do my best to make it right and then draw the line with being emotionally affected, I attribute their emotions to the experience of being ill. If my parents are arguing and try to involve me I say to myself "they chose to marry each other, let them fight and deal with it, but I'm not married to them so I can stay out of it!"

I know my reasoning isn't the most endearing but I suppose its what works for me, it protects me from all the hurt I took in the past from other people.

Thank you for those links, they were fantastic to read and particularly interesting about children with HSP. I am still in my more junior years (at 24!) but I expect to have HSP children one day! It really is a blessing and I don't want any of us to lose this very important gift. Coming back to patients - in the same way that I might get annoyed by the angry patients, I feel I can offer more to patients because I can read their emotions very quickly. or I forsee arguments, I sense negativity. We can use out gift in whatever walk of life we are in :-)

It's admirable that you HSPs in your 20s recognize this trait and try to use the positiveness of it. You are to be commended. I only wished I had known about it when I was younger. It might have led to a happier life. All I can add to this thread is, patience usually comes easier as you grow older and experienced. Keep the faith.