Highly Sensitive People HSP Community Group
The highly sensitive person (or HSP) is someone who cares deeply about everything ... feels emotions with great intensity ... is highly conscientious ... has a rich and complex inner life ... is very intuitive ... is often creative in a variety of ways... is easily overwhelmed and/or overstimulated. A HSP needs lots of quiet time,space, and freedom. If this sounds...
spunkycat08
I am dealing with a crazy situation at work, and I need some advice.
First, some background information relating to this post.
I was assigned to a different location through my employer, a parking company, for 6 years. I worked as a visitor parking attendant at a university. My immediate supervisor worked for the parking company. I also reported to the client supervisor at the university. At one point during my stay at the university the parking office took over the responsibility of the visitor parking garage. When I started working at the university, the visitor parking garage was one level. A couple of years after the parking office took over the responsibility of the visitor parking garage, that garage was renovated to include 2 additional levels. While that garage was being renovated, visitor parking was moved to the faculty/staff garage, which was adjacent to visitor parking. I was expected to assist customers at the window of the visitor parking booth, which was located outside the visitor parking garage, as well as customers who either 1) had difficulty exiting the garage because the token that they were given or purchased did not work or 2) pulled up to the wrong entrance gate and had to be turned around. There were times when I would be assisting a customer at the visitor parking booth when either number one or number two happened. There was a call box at each gate, but the parking office did not want to get any phone calls regarding customers having difficulty. I was supposed to prevent that from happening. I was supposed to assist the customer at the visitor parking booth window as well as the customer who was having difficulty all at the same time. I could not do that, and when the parking office received a phone call from the call box, I would get a phone call from them. I would let the person calling know that I was assisting a customer at the visitor parking booth window, but the person calling still was not happy. The client supervisor ended up calling my direct supervisor about this many times complaining to him about it. I was eventually written up for this by my immediate supervisor. This was a stressful time for me, and it got to be too much for me to handle. This was part of the reason why I ended up going to a counselor who noticed that I was a highly sensitive person. She agreed that 1) I or anyone else could not satisfy the clients unreasonable demands and 2) nothing good came from being written up for not being able to meet the clients unreasonable demands. The university ended their contract with my employer in 2012.
In 2013 I was transferred to an area of parking garages managed by my employer. I work as a porter. I was first assigned to clean 2 parking garages. Then I was transferred to 2 different parking garages as well as a parking lot several months later. Earlier this year I was transferred to 2 different parking garages as well as a parking lot. Employees have quit the past several months. My employee has tried to find replacements, but either 1) the prospective employee already accepted another job, 2) the employee only lasts a couple of days or 3) the employee is fired within their 90 day probationary period. I have been asked to pick up the slack by dividing my time among 4 parking garages and between 2 parking lots during my 8 hour shift. I have been doing this for a while, but it has been exhausting. Plus I can only physically do so much in an 8 hour shift. And the area manager over one set of parking garages has not been happy with my work. He called me last week at work on the work cell phone that was given to me and this is what happened. He told me 1) I did not do anything when I cleaned those 2 parking garages, 2) he expects me to do x, y and z, and 3) he does not want to have a meeting with me regarding my not meeting his expectations. He also asked me exactly what did I do. I explained to him exactly what I did that day. I also have to fill out a check list stating what I do and put it in his box in the main office, which I do. Apparently it was not what he wanted. I was upset about that. I became unbalanced. I had to take time away from my job to compose myself. I told my mom what happened, and she suggested that I write down on paper exactly what I do, the fact that I clean 4 garages and 2 parking lots when I am asked to divide my time, and the fact that I can only physically do so much in an 8 hour shift. I did that last week, and I stapled the note to the check list that I put in his box. He called me today to let me know that 1) he read my note, 2) he showed it to his immediate supervisor plus the supervisor at the other set of parking garages that I clean, and 3) I am still expected to perform to his expectations. He also told me that if there is anything I need or want him to know to let him know.
I also injured my right foot, but I do not know how that happened. I made a doctor appointment last week for today. My temperature was within normal range but my blood pressure was elevated but within normal range. I e-mailed him to let him know what happened at the doctor office as well as the fact that my blood pressure was elevated but within normal range. His response was he was glad that everything was ok but was my injury work related.
I know that I cannot keep on cleaning 4 parking garages as well as 2 parking lots in one day and deal with him when he is not happy for too long.
I am a private person when it comes to my HSP. No one at work knows about this.
I am trying to do whatever it takes to protect myself from getting too stressed out and unbalanced on a weekly basis. How should I deal with my employer as well as the male supervisor mentioned in this post?
First, some background information relating to this post.
I was assigned to a different location through my employer, a parking company, for 6 years. I worked as a visitor parking attendant at a university. My immediate supervisor worked for the parking company. I also reported to the client supervisor at the university. At one point during my stay at the university the parking office took over the responsibility of the visitor parking garage. When I started working at the university, the visitor parking garage was one level. A couple of years after the parking office took over the responsibility of the visitor parking garage, that garage was renovated to include 2 additional levels. While that garage was being renovated, visitor parking was moved to the faculty/staff garage, which was adjacent to visitor parking. I was expected to assist customers at the window of the visitor parking booth, which was located outside the visitor parking garage, as well as customers who either 1) had difficulty exiting the garage because the token that they were given or purchased did not work or 2) pulled up to the wrong entrance gate and had to be turned around. There were times when I would be assisting a customer at the visitor parking booth when either number one or number two happened. There was a call box at each gate, but the parking office did not want to get any phone calls regarding customers having difficulty. I was supposed to prevent that from happening. I was supposed to assist the customer at the visitor parking booth window as well as the customer who was having difficulty all at the same time. I could not do that, and when the parking office received a phone call from the call box, I would get a phone call from them. I would let the person calling know that I was assisting a customer at the visitor parking booth window, but the person calling still was not happy. The client supervisor ended up calling my direct supervisor about this many times complaining to him about it. I was eventually written up for this by my immediate supervisor. This was a stressful time for me, and it got to be too much for me to handle. This was part of the reason why I ended up going to a counselor who noticed that I was a highly sensitive person. She agreed that 1) I or anyone else could not satisfy the clients unreasonable demands and 2) nothing good came from being written up for not being able to meet the clients unreasonable demands. The university ended their contract with my employer in 2012.
In 2013 I was transferred to an area of parking garages managed by my employer. I work as a porter. I was first assigned to clean 2 parking garages. Then I was transferred to 2 different parking garages as well as a parking lot several months later. Earlier this year I was transferred to 2 different parking garages as well as a parking lot. Employees have quit the past several months. My employee has tried to find replacements, but either 1) the prospective employee already accepted another job, 2) the employee only lasts a couple of days or 3) the employee is fired within their 90 day probationary period. I have been asked to pick up the slack by dividing my time among 4 parking garages and between 2 parking lots during my 8 hour shift. I have been doing this for a while, but it has been exhausting. Plus I can only physically do so much in an 8 hour shift. And the area manager over one set of parking garages has not been happy with my work. He called me last week at work on the work cell phone that was given to me and this is what happened. He told me 1) I did not do anything when I cleaned those 2 parking garages, 2) he expects me to do x, y and z, and 3) he does not want to have a meeting with me regarding my not meeting his expectations. He also asked me exactly what did I do. I explained to him exactly what I did that day. I also have to fill out a check list stating what I do and put it in his box in the main office, which I do. Apparently it was not what he wanted. I was upset about that. I became unbalanced. I had to take time away from my job to compose myself. I told my mom what happened, and she suggested that I write down on paper exactly what I do, the fact that I clean 4 garages and 2 parking lots when I am asked to divide my time, and the fact that I can only physically do so much in an 8 hour shift. I did that last week, and I stapled the note to the check list that I put in his box. He called me today to let me know that 1) he read my note, 2) he showed it to his immediate supervisor plus the supervisor at the other set of parking garages that I clean, and 3) I am still expected to perform to his expectations. He also told me that if there is anything I need or want him to know to let him know.
I also injured my right foot, but I do not know how that happened. I made a doctor appointment last week for today. My temperature was within normal range but my blood pressure was elevated but within normal range. I e-mailed him to let him know what happened at the doctor office as well as the fact that my blood pressure was elevated but within normal range. His response was he was glad that everything was ok but was my injury work related.
I know that I cannot keep on cleaning 4 parking garages as well as 2 parking lots in one day and deal with him when he is not happy for too long.
I am a private person when it comes to my HSP. No one at work knows about this.
I am trying to do whatever it takes to protect myself from getting too stressed out and unbalanced on a weekly basis. How should I deal with my employer as well as the male supervisor mentioned in this post?
I can be very assertive when I need to be...here is your chance to practice not getting stepped on. You really need to find the strength to stand up for yourself.
The employer knows that there is a help issue...and in turn you are doing it all so they do not have to hire anyone. You most likely will end up being forced out of your job...been there done that.
I personalty would go to HR and over the bosses head. This will help protect you.
You will have to take steps to fix this issue...while trying to find another job.
Also keep notes of what work you are doing, write down each task and how long it takes, including travelling between locations, so you can prove how you spent your day and that you are not physically capable of doing what they ask. Get as much information together as possible.
I also believe you are allowed an advocate in any meeting with management, in order to assist you. This could be a union rep, but can also be a colleague if needed. These types of things are why I suggested a union or legal advice.
Best of luck.
Did they offer to go along with you on an average workday to see how their expectations are not reasonable?
How could they not know?
The only other thing I think is to document, tell people, ask around for any legal or other advice.
Are you going to be able to continue with the ankle?
Going to HR, the idea from mrsthomas-I never know if that is good or not! , from previous experience sometimes, or not. Do you know HR that well that you feel they may do something about this or are on your side?
I agree- (HSP. No one at work knows about)
Hope you can get by with this until you can get another job, or if something were to change
There are several issues here: You are suffering from moral harrassment. I think you are living in the USA, so I don't know if it is forbidden but the law ?
Moreover, you have to learn to let this slide. Do you think you are doing your job:
1) bad
2) well
3) very good
If you are satisfied with your job, you think you did a very good job, then let slide your supervisor remarks.
Something I realized at work : Sometimes people think you are doing a bad job because they don't realize something is not working well.
You have to improve your work and to tell your supervisor everything which could help improve your work.
It is very important to make them realize why you can't do your job according to their request.
It is a hard process as you probably will have to say again and again ten times the same thing for them to understand, but it worths it. It is exhausting, so be careful.
My employer has hired 4 new employees who started working there a couple of weeks ago. 3 of them work the first shift. One works the second shift.
One new first shift employee is my husband, who needed a full-time job because the job he had was only giving him 30 to 32 hours a week. The only way he was hired was because 1) he was assigned to a different garage that is located in the same area of garages I work in, 2) his lunch half hour is at a different time than mine is, and 3) he reports to a different garage manager *aka area manager*
I was moved back to the 2 garages and parking lot I was originally cleaning before being moved to the other 2 garages and parking lot. The garage manager *aka area manager* I mentioned, who wanted me to clean all 4 garages and 2 parking lots, is my direct manager. He is also over the new second shift employee. There is not much I can do about that because he was assigned to manage the 2 garages and parking lot I clean, the garage that the new second shift employee cleans as well as 2 other garages.
As for our lunch half hour...
We all have to clock out for lunch and clock back in. There are 2 break rooms for lunch, but one of them is always locked. The Senior Supervisor over everyone, including the area managers, has the key to that break room. The break room we eat at is located next to the garage office that we clock out at.
There is a second shift employee who is nearing retirement age. He arrives at work early so he can eat inside the break room before clocking in. He arrives when several of us are having lunch inside the break room. But the problem is... he does not like it when there are too many people inside the break room. He has made his opinion about that known to us, and he told us that he would complain to his area manager about that. He did that, but there is not much that the area manager could do since he is not on the clock when he is eating.
The new second shift employee does not like him. She is a recent high school graduate. She has told us, when he is not present, that 1) she will not take crap *and that is putting it nicely* from anyone, 2) she grew up and lives in a rough part of town, 3) she will say and do whatever she wants to regardless of how anyone else feels and so on.
So when the other second shift employee arrived to have lunch, she would tell him over and over "hey *co-worker name* where is my lunch? I told you that you are supposed to bring me lunch. So where is my lunch?" He gave her simple answers in the beginning, but after she continued to tell him this, he became pissed. I could tell that by his tone of voice. She would do this every day he arrived. It got to the point that I got tired of their verbally going at it, and so this past Monday I told them to stop arguing with each other, and I left the break room. On Tuesday there was a slight improvement, but it only lasted one day. On Wednesday she continued egging him on. He yelled at her to stop. I had to clock back in from lunch at that time, and so I left the break room to do that. I could still hear him yelling at her after I left the break room. I notified his direct Supervisor regarding what happened, and I e-mailed my direct manager as well since he is over me and her. He replied that he would handle the situation.
I will wait and see what happens this week before deciding what the next step is.